Spousal Support Question - How To Make Him Pay More

[Shayna]

What is the name of your state? GA

My husband left me and then filed for divorce. While we wait for mediation, he has been lowering the amount he has been paying me for household expenses. He refuses to pay for any extra stuff and things like manicures have also been removed from the budget. All he is now paying is the mortgage, electric, water, gas, trash, car insurance, medical copays of about $650 a month, and giving me only another $50 a week for groceries.

He is crying that he doesn't have enough money to live on, because these expenses cost about 80% of his take home pay. I don't work -- but he should have thought about that before leaving me. Since we haven't been to court yet, we don't have any agreement to make him pay a specific dollar amount. Meanwhile, my current expenses are not negotiable -- I can't wait for the court to decide what I need and when.

What can I do to make him give me more money? Can the court make this an emergency and make him get a second job or something to increase his income and then give me more money?

[nextwife]

If by chance this is for real, answer the following please:

How long have you been married?

Are you on title, and/or on the mortgage?

How old are you?

Are there children together?

How long since you left the workforce?

Kindly calculate what he is voluntarily paying out a month to support you now.

Originally Posted by Shayna

All he is now paying is the mortgage, electric, water, gas, trash, car insurance, medical copays of about $650 a month, and giving me only another $50 a week for groceries.

How much does HE earn (without a second job)?

Why are you unable to work?

[Shayna]

I most certainly am for real! Here are the answers to your questions:

Length of marriage - over 15 years, does the exact length past this really matter?

I am not on the title to our house, so the mortgage is his problem.

I am in my 40s.

We have no children.

He earns around $55k. Since he left, he is paying around $1,975.00 monthly, plus paying my medical insurance premiums. His take home pay since he stopped doing the stupid 401k is around $2,600.00 a month.

I haven't worked for the past few years because I have a lot of back problems and other medical issues. I take a lot of pain medications and have a lot of doctor visits. I was a computer professional, and I have my degree. In any case, I didn't have to work before he left, and that shouldn't have to change -- he left, so he should pay, right?!

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by Shayna

I most certainly am for real! Here are the answers to your questions:

Length of marriage - over 15 years, does the exact length past this really matter?

I am not on the title to our house, so the mortgage is his problem.

I am in my 40s.

We have no children.

He earns around $55k. Since he left, he is paying around $1,975.00 monthly, plus paying my medical insurance premiums. His take home pay since he stopped doing the stupid 401k is around $2,600.00 a month.

I haven't worked for the past few years because I have a lot of back problems and other medical issues. I take a lot of pain medications and have a lot of doctor visits. I was a computer professional, and I have my degree. In any case, I didn't have to work before he left, and that shouldn't have to change -- he left, so he should pay, right?!

Sounds like he IS paying, in spades. How do you figure he's not paying? I figure you're currently at about 76% of his income. That's way more than a judge is likely to order.

Why is a 401k "stupid"? FAILING to take advantage of a 401K is what's stupid. ESPECIALLY if theres matching funds at all. Money out of every paycheck toward retirement is far more imprtant than a manicure

[Shayna]

Oh really? So what do you figure the court thinks my ruined marriage is worth in alimony?

Will they punish him in terms of amount and duratioin of alimony he has to pay me, especially since I am not working and have medical problems?

What if I can find out that he was unfaithful, would that help my case? Someone I know is willing to say that she saw him socializing with another woman in public.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by Shayna

Oh really? So what do you figure the court thinks my ruined marriage is worth in alimony?

Will they punish him in terms of amount and duratioin of alimony he has to pay me, especially since I am not working and have medical problems?

What if I can find out that he was unfaithful, would that help my case? Someone I know is willing to say that she saw him socializing with another woman in public.

Please go to court with this attitude...It would be great for your ex!!

Get a flippin' job, lady!

[Shayna]

I can produce a list of health issues longer than your arm! And all of them are so much worse now since he left!!

I have tried a couple times to get SSI disability payments, but it didn't work out. I am not up to working at this time. One day I might like to go back to work, but right now I am too stressed out and sick. Also, I have been fired from a few jobs in my past, so I am sort of nervous about getting good references.

How can I prove my needs to the court?

There is no way. No. WAY. This OP is for real. Gotta be a troll. Gotta be. I absolutely refuse to believe women like this exist in the world.

"Shayna", if you are serious, my advice for you is to sue your ex. Please take your ex to court, and make absolutely sure you say to the judge exactly what you've said here.

Originally Posted by Shayna

I can produce a list of health issues longer than your arm! And all of them are so much worse now since he left!!

I have tried a couple times to get SSI disability payments, but it didn't work out. I am not up to working at this time. One day I might like to go back to work, but right now I am too stressed out and sick. Also, I have been fired from a few jobs in my past, so I am sort of nervous about getting good references.

How can I prove my needs to the court?

Case closed. Definitely a troll. Had me going there for a minute, though.

[Shayna]

This IS real, and I am not a troll! He has ruined my life -- all on his whims!!

Why would my attorney, who I am told is one of the best that money can buy, tell me that I have a very good case against my husband if that is not true?

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by Shayna

This IS real, and I am not a troll! He has ruined my life -- all on his whims!!

Why would my attorney, who I am told is one of the best that money can buy, tell me that I have a very good case against my husband if that is not true?

Why don't you ask your attorney ,(the BEST that your husbands money can buy), these questions? He know you and your case better than we could.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by Shayna

This IS real, and I am not a troll! He has ruined my life -- all on his whims!!

Why would my attorney, who I am told is one of the best that money can buy, tell me that I have a very good case against my husband if that is not true?

So file for divorce.

The purpose of alimony is NOT to "punish" someone for not wanting to remain married anymore. Do not expect to receive enough alimony to keep your life unchanged

Do expect that you'll need to buy out his interest, and refinance him off the mortgage, in order to stay in the house. Was it purchased DURING the marriage, or a premarital asset?

[Shayna]

Thank you nextwife, for not being so dismissive to me!

The house was purchased during our marriage but is in his name alone. He is not living in the house now, but I am. I don't want the house, so that is not an issue. I want a new house with fresh memories.

However, how am I supposed to pay for this new place without more money?

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by Shayna

Thank you nextwife, for not being so dismissive to me!

The house was purchased during our marriage but is in his name alone. He is not living in the house now, but I am. I don't want the house, so that is not an issue. I want a new house with fresh memories.

However, how am I supposed to pay for this new place without more money?

Gee...How about getting a damn job???????????

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by Shayna

Thank you nextwife, for not being so dismissive to me!

The house was purchased during our marriage but is in his name alone. He is not living in the house now, but I am. I don't want the house, so that is not an issue. I want a new house with fresh memories.

However, how am I supposed to pay for this new place without more money?

Uh, did you save NOTHING during your years of employment? Take money of yours from before you stopped working and add in any share of the equity you are awarded for the current home, your share of any marital savings or stock investments, and buy what you can afford. If not a house, then a condo.

If you are granted SS disability, that regular source of income can be counted when qualifying for a mortgage. Hopefully, you still qualify for and have acquired enough, disability credits.

If you waited too many years, you may have lost YOUR opportunity for SSDI. Eligibility for SSDI depends upon credits, but one needs to have credits accumulated within a certain number of years, I believe. I sure would never have wanted to place all the financial burden on my husband if I was eligible for benefits. They get tired and can't keep being the ONLY one bringing in income.

Originally Posted by baystategirl

Gee...How about getting a damn job???????????

Bay is correct. If you are not disabled, then you should be able to work.

FYI- my husband (age 60) also suffers from terrible chronic back pain and some other medical issues, and he still works his backside off, runs his one man business, and truly shares the responsibility for maintaining our house and raising our nine year old. And he has osteo arthritus. He will likely not stop working until kiddo is done with college (age 74). Nor will I.