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  1. #1
    dallas03 is offline Junior Member
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    Question Stay at home dad with child support obligations?

    Florida


    My boyfriend and I are planning to get married in about a year or so. We were disscussing for me to be a working mom and him be the stay at home dad considering our career choices, and education. However, he has a child in which he pays child support for, so he would be required to work, right? If not, the child support would come out of my paycheck being that it is the family income, right?

    I want to marry him, but I dont want his ex coming after my money, being that my career choice is known to be high paying and that she's always trying to get more money out of him. I also have always dreamed of being a working mom, and my children being raised by a parent, not a nanny or daycare. With his previous relationship, and child as a result of that relationship, are my dreams shattered?

    Could a prenuptial agreement between us prevent her from taking my money? And is there any way that he can still be that stay at home dad, or is that out of the window?
    Last edited by dallas03; 08-27-2008 at 03:52 AM.
  2. #2
    Farfalla is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    Florida
    My boyfriend and I are planning to get married in about a year or so. We were disscussing for me to be a working mom and him be the stay at home dad considering our career choices, and education. However, he has a child in which he pays child support for, so he would be required to work, right? If not, the child support would come out of my paycheck being that it is the family income, right?
    You are not obligated to by the child support, he is. However, is he’s not working it still has to be paid. So in the arrangement you are talking about you would probably end up paying it.
    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    I want to marry him, but I dont want his ex coming after my money, being that my career choice is known to be high paying and that she's always trying to get more money out of him. I also have always dreamed of being a working mom, and my children being raised by a parent, not a nanny or daycare. With his previous relationship, and child as a result of that relationship, are my dreams shattered?
    She cannot come after your money. But he will owe the child support. If you are not willing to pay his child support obligation, and you are dead set on marrying him, yes your dreams are shattered. He has a prior obligation… children from another relationship. He is legally and morally obligated to support his children, all of them.
    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    Could a prenuptial agreement between us prevent her from taking my money? And is there any way that he can still be that stay at home dad, or is that out of the window?
    She cannot sue for your income. But if he’s a stay at home dad, how is he going to pay for child support? The court is not going to cancel his child support obligation.

    While the court cannot attach your income, your husband will be obligated to pay it even if he’s a stay at home dad. Where is that money coming from? The only source is your pocket if he is not working. He has to work if you are not willing to pay his child support.
  3. #3
    Neal1421 is offline Senior Member
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    He can be a SAHD if he would like, however he would still be financially responsible for the child. The court may impute an income for him based off what he is currently making, however unless he has a large savings to pay support from, you will essentially end up making the payments.

    There are some times when a judge will base the child support off of the obligator's spouses's income like when the obligator is voluntarily underemployed. However if he stays current on his support, your income will not likely be included.

    No, a pre-nup will not help you.
  4. #4
    proud_parent is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    I also have always dreamed of being a working mom, and my children being raised by a parent, not a nanny or daycare. With his previous relationship, and child as a result of that relationship, are my dreams shattered?
    You see, that's the thing about dreams. They tend to focus only on the outcome and not on the steps to achieve it, nor on the obstacles along the way.

    Perhaps you need to consider other options:
    [LIST]
    [*]Each of you works full time, different shifts. More money coming in to meet obligations, yet one of you is always at home with the children.
    [*]Parent at home runs a home-based business that allows for child rearing; for example, in-home daycare.
    [*]Parent at home gets a part-time job and enters into a time-sharing arrangement with another SAHP; one of them stays with both families' children while the other works, then they switch off.
    [*]Both of you work like crazy -- take second jobs, even -- between now and whenever you begin having children together (that is presuming that your boyfriend's current parenting time schedule allows for this). Save the extra income to finance one of you staying home at least a little while after any future children are born.
    [*]Delay having children of your own until you have enough money invested to finance the lifestyle you want.[/LIST]

    If a relationship with this man is what you choose, there will be tradeoffs necessary as a result. Get your head around the idea that even the best-laid plans go awry when real life comes calling.

    Even if you were to choose a life partner with no previous children, something may come up (child with special needs, loss of job, disability, death of spouse) that would throw your "dreams" into a blender -- or at least put them on the rocks for a while.
  5. #5
    tuffbrk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    Florida
    are my dreams shattered?
    I can only wonder how old you are...

    If you plan to be a parent, I'd advise you to exercise your ability to be flexible. Children have this talent at completely disrupting your life - albeit we love them, will do anything for them and most times don't look at it as a disruption - disrupt they do!

    The best laid plans have a tendency to go awry. Especially when an Ex and a stepchild are involved in your life - many ex's go out of their way to make things difficult. Even if they themselves are remarried...

    Think long and hard about getting married (legal contract!!), give yourself plenty of time to adjust to marriage and then please be certain that you fully understand the tradeoffs that often come as part of the package of parenting with a partner who has children with another person.

    Many of us view it as rewarding... but many of us wouldn't think our dreams were shattered if our lives aren't exactly as we may have wished.
  6. #6
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuffbrk View Post
    I can only wonder how old you are...

    If you plan to be a parent, I'd advise you to exercise your ability to be flexible. Children have this talent at completely disrupting your life - albeit we love them, will do anything for them and most times don't look at it as a disruption - disrupt they do!

    The best laid plans have a tendency to go awry. Especially when an Ex and a stepchild are involved in your life - many ex's go out of their way to make things difficult. Even if they themselves are remarried...

    Think long and hard about getting married (legal contract!!), give yourself plenty of time to adjust to marriage and then please be certain that you fully understand the tradeoffs that often come as part of the package of parenting with a partner who has children with another person.

    Many of us view it as rewarding... but many of us wouldn't think our dreams were shattered if our lives aren't exactly as we may have wished.

    Co-Sign

    Also, you'll not be getting custody of Junior anytime soon, so don't even TRY to go that route in an effort to keep hubby from paying child support.

    And... double post.
  7. #7
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    Florida


    My boyfriend and I are planning to get married in about a year or so. We were disscussing for me to be a working mom and him be the stay at home dad considering our career choices, and education. However, he has a child in which he pays child support for, so he would be required to work, right? If not, the child support would come out of my paycheck being that it is the family income, right?

    I want to marry him, but I dont want his ex coming after my money, being that my career choice is known to be high paying and that she's always trying to get more money out of him. I also have always dreamed of being a working mom, and my children being raised by a parent, not a nanny or daycare. With his previous relationship, and child as a result of that relationship, are my dreams shattered?

    Could a prenuptial agreement between us prevent her from taking my money? And is there any way that he can still be that stay at home dad, or is that out of the window?
    Your income cannot be garnished. However, if your BF/husband falls behind in his CS obligation all joint assets and accounts can be levied. A prenup cannot prevent that.

    Yes, your husband can be a stay at home Dad, but you'd have to understand that you would be agreeing to pay for his CS obligation. You also need to know that if his ex pushes the issue, the court can impute income to him based on your income.
  8. #8
    dallas03 is offline Junior Member
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    Lightbulb New thoughts*

    Oh dear!
    When we marry, can his ex go after my income if he works instead of staying at home? Is she able to go after my income either way?


    If he becomes a stay at home dad, will I have to pay his current child support, or will the court compute my income and come up with a new amount?

    If so, this amount would be much higher, and would seem unfair. I don't mind supporting the child, I would just rather make the decision on how the money is spent, instead of handing his ex more money each month when she claims she can't give the child breakfast because she has to pay a speeding ticket.

    We've also noticed that she falls behind on rent, and moves around a lot because she gets evicted a lot, yet she buys a new laptop, has new hair color, new nails, and new clothes.

    I would much rather have their child live with me and her father full time, instead of having the child every other week.

    Then he COULD be a stay at home dad, and I would support the child a majority of the time. The father would have more custody, and the ex would be better of as far as her finances go. Would the court consider that?

    If she can't afford to support their child on her week with the child, wouldn't it be best that she have weekends, instead of a full week? She wouldn't have to spend gas driving to the school, and less money on daily esentials... food, shampoo, laundry detergent, yada, yada...

    I'm not trying to seem like a bad person. The child should spend equal time with each parent, but the mother could get better on her feet. She would spend more time working, and less time and money taking the child to school, and after school care, and babysitters. She would then have a whole weekend of seeing her child instead of running her child around in between shifts.

    And it may seem ridiculous that I consider that she only recive the current child support amount instead of more, when she obviously needs it, but again, that's not a vindictive consideration...

    She works at a fast food restaurant and refuses to get her GED or work anywhere else even when I've offered to babysit for free. She's taken me up on that offer, but not to work else where, or get her GED,instead she would go on dates or go to the mall. You can see my frustration.

    She prefers to receive money, where as my boyfriend actually tries to get better jobs and further his education as well. She knows this, and as long as he makes more money than she does, she recieves the child support money and doesn't have to work as hard. That's how she sees it.

    For me to pay his current child support amount, probably wouldn't make too significant of a difference to us at our house. It seems necessary in order for my family to be raised the way that I want. However, if the court were to use my income, and take a significant amount I would refuse. I would rather be the stay at home parent or not marry, or get a prenup, or anything, and make sure she doesn't take and WASTE more money.

    I refuse to pay a large increase of money just because I have education and a real career, when she refuses to better herself, and she chooses to live off of everyone else.

    She admitted that got pregnant this second time for WIC, and child support.

    The new boyfriend she got pregnant by had a good job, but dissapeared when she got pregnant, and hasn't been heard from since. She's even worse off now because of this.

    Many times, I have helped her out, finding her a cheaper place to rent, finding closer daycares to her. I've handed out to her time and time again, including buying her a crib, a baby bathtub, and other baby necessities for her second child with this guy that has dissapeared.

    So, clearly, I'm not a bad person. I just don't want to give her any more hand outs, and I don't want my plans of my future to be altered because of her choices.

    I didn't get pregnant when I was in high school. I always had plan of college, marriage, a set career, and a house before I will get pregnant. I tried to take the smart road to avoid situations like this...But I guess its time to allow my path to change since I am with someone who didn't make the right decisions.

    I just want to figure out the best solution so that when I marry my boyfriend, he doesn't seem like a dead beat dad, because he's actually great with his child, and he's always on top of his child support as well. The court even told him he was paying way too much child support. They cut it in half, and had it come out of his paycheck automatically so that she would stop asking him to give her more money. He's a GREAT father!

    I realize that the court can't stop his child support obligations just because I want him to stay at home. I'm trying to figure out a plan that can work out for all of us, and the child have little, or no frustration through all of this.

    It might seem simpler for me to ignore how much money would come from my paycheck but if his ex would get a real job or career, the difference in pay wouldnt be so vast and wouldn't make such a big deal. Especially when I am fed up with trying to help her when she doesn't want to help herself.

    What can I really do in a crazy situation like this?

    Suck it up and give up what I have to? After all, when we marry I am accepting him and everything that comes along with him, good or bad.
  9. #9
    Bali Hai is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    Oh dear!
    When we marry, can his ex go after my income if he works instead of staying at home? Is she able to go after my income either way?


    If he becomes a stay at home dad, will I have to pay his current child support, or will the court compute my income and come up with a new amount?

    If so, this amount would be much higher, and would seem unfair. I don't mind supporting the child, I would just rather make the decision on how the money is spent, instead of handing his ex more money each month when she claims she can't give the child breakfast because she has to pay a speeding ticket.

    We've also noticed that she falls behind on rent, and moves around a lot because she gets evicted a lot, yet she buys a new laptop, has new hair color, new nails, and new clothes.

    I would much rather have their child live with me and her father full time, instead of having the child every other week.

    Then he COULD be a stay at home dad, and I would support the child a majority of the time. The father would have more custody, and the ex would be better of as far as her finances go. Would the court consider that?

    If she can't afford to support their child on her week with the child, wouldn't it be best that she have weekends, instead of a full week? She wouldn't have to spend gas driving to the school, and less money on daily esentials... food, shampoo, laundry detergent, yada, yada...

    I'm not trying to seem like a bad person. The child should spend equal time with each parent, but the mother could get better on her feet. She would spend more time working, and less time and money taking the child to school, and after school care, and babysitters. She would then have a whole weekend of seeing her child instead of running her child around in between shifts.

    And it may seem ridiculous that I consider that she only recive the current child support amount instead of more, when she obviously needs it, but again, that's not a vindictive consideration...

    She works at a fast food restaurant and refuses to get her GED or work anywhere else even when I've offered to babysit for free. She's taken me up on that offer, but not to work else where, or get her GED,instead she would go on dates or go to the mall. You can see my frustration.

    She prefers to receive money, where as my boyfriend actually tries to get better jobs and further his education as well. She knows this, and as long as he makes more money than she does, she recieves the child support money and doesn't have to work as hard. That's how she sees it.

    For me to pay his current child support amount, probably wouldn't make too significant of a difference to us at our house. It seems necessary in order for my family to be raised the way that I want. However, if the court were to use my income, and take a significant amount I would refuse. I would rather be the stay at home parent or not marry, or get a prenup, or anything, and make sure she doesn't take and WASTE more money.

    I refuse to pay a large increase of money just because I have education and a real career, when she refuses to better herself, and she chooses to live off of everyone else.

    She admitted that got pregnant this second time for WIC, and child support.

    The new boyfriend she got pregnant by had a good job, but dissapeared when she got pregnant, and hasn't been heard from since. She's even worse off now because of this.

    Many times, I have helped her out, finding her a cheaper place to rent, finding closer daycares to her. I've handed out to her time and time again, including buying her a crib, a baby bathtub, and other baby necessities for her second child with this guy that has dissapeared.

    So, clearly, I'm not a bad person. I just don't want to give her any more hand outs, and I don't want my plans of my future to be altered because of her choices.

    I didn't get pregnant when I was in high school. I always had plan of college, marriage, a set career, and a house before I will get pregnant. I tried to take the smart road to avoid situations like this...But I guess its time to allow my path to change since I am with someone who didn't make the right decisions.

    I just want to figure out the best solution so that when I marry my boyfriend, he doesn't seem like a dead beat dad, because he's actually great with his child, and he's always on top of his child support as well. The court even told him he was paying way too much child support. They cut it in half, and had it come out of his paycheck automatically so that she would stop asking him to give her more money. He's a GREAT father!

    I realize that the court can't stop his child support obligations just because I want him to stay at home. I'm trying to figure out a plan that can work out for all of us, and the child have little, or no frustration through all of this.

    It might seem simpler for me to ignore how much money would come from my paycheck but if his ex would get a real job or career, the difference in pay wouldnt be so vast and wouldn't make such a big deal. Especially when I am fed up with trying to help her when she doesn't want to help herself.

    What can I really do in a crazy situation like this?

    Suck it up and give up what I have to? After all, when we marry I am accepting him and everything that comes along with him, good or bad.
    You'll never know what these idiot judges will decide until you get to court.

    They make decisions about whether to take money from hard working people and give that money to losers.

    They have the power to make robin hood decisions to take your money and give it to someone else simply because you have the money, and, the law says they have the discretion to steal it from you.

    My advice is not to marry this guy because you'll be at the mercy of these jackass courts as much as he is.
  10. #10
    Farfalla is offline Member
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    Welcome to the ‘happy’ world of step parenting when the other parent is an irresponsible person. I’m a step parent. My husband had primary physical custody of his children and joint legal custody. Even with that it was not an easy situation.

    Remember while you describe what she is like that this is the woman your bf picked to be the mother of his child. He went out of his way to select her. So you should also be looking very closely at him.

    Is this woman on any kind of assistance? If she is than the state might go after the second father. He might find it a bit harder to hide from them.

    It is highly unlikely that the courts will give your bf primary physical custody. They tend to stay with the status quo. What you have described is what you life will be like. Think long and hard about if this is the family environment you want to bring your own children into. You are wise to be asking these questions now before you tie the knot.
  11. #11
    tuffbrk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    Oh dear!

    Blah, blah, blah, blah - ad nauseum...
    Suck it up and give up what I have to? After all, when we marry I am accepting him and everything that comes along with him, good or bad.
    Use google - research how the courts decide changing primary/physical custody of a child. Everyone reading your rant can easily see the rationalizing that you are doing. None of it matters from a legal perspective. The courts aren't interested in stories, rationalizations, etc. Facts - those that you can prove - are all that matter.
  12. #12
    dallas03 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuffbrk View Post
    I can only wonder how old you are...

    If you plan to be a parent, I'd advise you to exercise your ability to be flexible. Children have this talent at completely disrupting your life - albeit we love them, will do anything for them and most times don't look at it as a disruption - disrupt they do!

    The best laid plans have a tendency to go awry. Especially when an Ex and a stepchild are involved in your life - many ex's go out of their way to make things difficult. Even if they themselves are remarried...

    Think long and hard about getting married (legal contract!!), give yourself plenty of time to adjust to marriage and then please be certain that you fully understand the tradeoffs that often come as part of the package of parenting with a partner who has children with another person.

    Many of us view it as rewarding... but many of us wouldn't think our dreams were shattered if our lives aren't exactly as we may have wished.
    I am indeed young, but I know plenty about having children, and the alterations in life that they create. I have power of attorney over two 1yr old twins who are not mine, while their parents fight in the war. They were sprung on me when they were 7 months old, and will probably go back to their parents when they are a little over 2 yrs old. I happily took them in, knowing there would be changes in my life, and I soon found out there was much more to it!!

    I do very much find every little dirty diaper and every inch of the headache to be rewarding. The same goes for the hassle I have to put up with from my boyfriend's ex. Their child is so amazing, it always feels worth every annoyance that the woman causes.

    But aside from all of that, I am just investigating all aspects of my future with this relationship before we tie the knot, even though we aren't planning to marry for another year or two.
  13. #13
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    Oh dear!
    When we marry, can his ex go after my income if he works instead of staying at home? Is she able to go after my income either way?
    NO, his ex cannot go after your income. However, he will be imputed an income at least based on what he is capable of earning. If he doesn't pay, he faces jail and other sanctions.


    If he becomes a stay at home dad, will I have to pay his current child support, or will the court compute my income and come up with a new amount?
    The court is not going to look at your income unless he tries to get his child support reduced. Even then, its unlikely that your income would figure into the calculation.

    If so, this amount would be much higher, and would seem unfair. I don't mind supporting the child, I would just rather make the decision on how the money is spent, instead of handing his ex more money each month when she claims she can't give the child breakfast because she has to pay a speeding ticket.
    No, the court will NOT raise his support based on your income. NO, you will never get to decide how the child support is spent.

    We've also noticed that she falls behind on rent, and moves around a lot because she gets evicted a lot, yet she buys a new laptop, has new hair color, new nails, and new clothes.
    None of your business.

    I would much rather have their child live with me and her father full time, instead of having the child every other week.

    Then he COULD be a stay at home dad, and I would support the child a majority of the time. The father would have more custody, and the ex would be better of as far as her finances go. Would the court consider that?
    The court isn't even going to remotely consider that. You are living in the same fantasyland that many new fiances live in.

    If she can't afford to support their child on her week with the child, wouldn't it be best that she have weekends, instead of a full week? She wouldn't have to spend gas driving to the school, and less money on daily esentials... food, shampoo, laundry detergent, yada, yada...
    Again, fantasyland

    I'm not trying to seem like a bad person. The child should spend equal time with each parent, but the mother could get better on her feet. She would spend more time working, and less time and money taking the child to school, and after school care, and babysitters. She would then have a whole weekend of seeing her child instead of running her child around in between shifts.
    Again, fantasyland

    And it may seem ridiculous that I consider that she only recive the current child support amount instead of more, when she obviously needs it, but again, that's not a vindictive consideration...

    She works at a fast food restaurant and refuses to get her GED or work anywhere else even when I've offered to babysit for free. She's taken me up on that offer, but not to work else where, or get her GED,instead she would go on dates or go to the mall. You can see my frustration.
    I am sitting here shaking my head is disbelief.

    She prefers to receive money, where as my boyfriend actually tries to get better jobs and further his education as well. She knows this, and as long as he makes more money than she does, she recieves the child support money and doesn't have to work as hard. That's how she sees it.

    For me to pay his current child support amount, probably wouldn't make too significant of a difference to us at our house. It seems necessary in order for my family to be raised the way that I want. However, if the court were to use my income, and take a significant amount I would refuse. I would rather be the stay at home parent or not marry, or get a prenup, or anything, and make sure she doesn't take and WASTE more money.

    I refuse to pay a large increase of money just because I have education and a real career, when she refuses to better herself, and she chooses to live off of everyone else.

    She admitted that got pregnant this second time for WIC, and child support.

    The new boyfriend she got pregnant by had a good job, but dissapeared when she got pregnant, and hasn't been heard from since. She's even worse off now because of this.

    Many times, I have helped her out, finding her a cheaper place to rent, finding closer daycares to her. I've handed out to her time and time again, including buying her a crib, a baby bathtub, and other baby necessities for her second child with this guy that has dissapeared.

    So, clearly, I'm not a bad person. I just don't want to give her any more hand outs, and I don't want my plans of my future to be altered because of her choices.

    I didn't get pregnant when I was in high school. I always had plan of college, marriage, a set career, and a house before I will get pregnant. I tried to take the smart road to avoid situations like this...But I guess its time to allow my path to change since I am with someone who didn't make the right decisions.

    I just want to figure out the best solution so that when I marry my boyfriend, he doesn't seem like a dead beat dad, because he's actually great with his child, and he's always on top of his child support as well. The court even told him he was paying way too much child support. They cut it in half, and had it come out of his paycheck automatically so that she would stop asking him to give her more money. He's a GREAT father!

    I realize that the court can't stop his child support obligations just because I want him to stay at home. I'm trying to figure out a plan that can work out for all of us, and the child have little, or no frustration through all of this.

    It might seem simpler for me to ignore how much money would come from my paycheck but if his ex would get a real job or career, the difference in pay wouldnt be so vast and wouldn't make such a big deal. Especially when I am fed up with trying to help her when she doesn't want to help herself.

    What can I really do in a crazy situation like this?

    Suck it up and give up what I have to? After all, when we marry I am accepting him and everything that comes along with him, good or bad.
    The bolded part is exactly what you have to do.
  14. #14
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    NO, his ex cannot go after your income. However, he will be imputed an income at least based on what he is capable of earning. If he doesn't pay, he faces jail and other sanctions.




    The court is not going to look at your income unless he tries to get his child support reduced. Even then, its unlikely that your income would figure into the calculation.



    No, the court will NOT raise his support based on your income. NO, you will never get to decide how the child support is spent.



    None of your business.



    The court isn't even going to remotely consider that. You are living in the same fantasyland that many new fiances live in.



    Again, fantasyland



    Again, fantasyland



    I am sitting here shaking my head is disbelief.



    The bolded part is exactly what you have to do.
    Ld... I think you just made my day. However, it should be noted that in another thread... the OP is unemployed.
  15. #15
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    I'm confused...
    Quote Originally Posted by dallas03 View Post
    I completely see where you are coming from and I have a similar situation. It sucks that she moved away after you guys moved closer to her in the first place. It sounds like something she is doing to be rotten and unfair to the first child and their father.

    In some states I know that when a man has to support more than one of his children, his CS obligations for the first child do go down. I have a friend in NC and that's exactly what happened. His income is still the same, and while he has a new baby that he has to support, he doesn't have more money. Just like any family, when a new member enters the family, the income doesn't go up, the family just has to split the income between more children.

    However, still being with him might not be the same deal. Maybe take him to court for child support on the child you share. The court will have to ration his income between both of his children, which would be lower for his first child.

    Then get back with him. Some courts require to see how you spend the money on the child, but if your rent is paid with the money, most courts say that's an appropriate way to spend the money. And of course you will also spend money on the baby for diapers and all, so you wouldn't be a terrible person. You would just be ensuring that his income be shared between both of his children equally.

    Just like a family that has never been split up...that first child is spoiled, but the more children that enter that family, the less spoiled that first child becomes.

    I love my step daughter as well, and I am having problems building my own family, because of her mom, and her chuld support as well. I am unable to work due to an injury, and she refuses to get her GED or get out of that fast food restaurant, because she admittedly wants to receive money instead of working hard for herself.

    A lot of ex's try to make things harder when they are no longer in the relationship, and especially when someone new is in the picture.

    But look into it to be sure, if you think it might work, try it.
    I wouldn't be too shy to try to get child support for my child even if I was planning to stay with the father. The court doesn't need to know that.

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