She prefers to receive money, where as my boyfriend actually tries to get better jobs and further his education as well. She knows this, and as long as he makes more money than she does, she recieves the child support money and doesn't have to work as hard. That's how she sees it.
For me to pay his current child support amount, probably wouldn't make too significant of a difference to us at our house. It seems necessary in order for my family to be raised the way that I want. However, if the court were to use my income, and take a significant amount I would refuse. I would rather be the stay at home parent or not marry, or get a prenup, or anything, and make sure she doesn't take and WASTE more money.
I refuse to pay a large increase of money just because I have education and a real career, when she refuses to better herself, and she chooses to live off of everyone else.
She admitted that got pregnant this second time for WIC, and child support.
The new boyfriend she got pregnant by had a good job, but dissapeared when she got pregnant, and hasn't been heard from since. She's even worse off now because of this.
Many times, I have helped her out, finding her a cheaper place to rent, finding closer daycares to her. I've handed out to her time and time again, including buying her a crib, a baby bathtub, and other baby necessities for her second child with this guy that has dissapeared.
So, clearly, I'm not a bad person. I just don't want to give her any more hand outs, and I don't want my plans of my future to be altered because of her choices.
I didn't get pregnant when I was in high school. I always had plan of college, marriage, a set career, and a house before I will get pregnant. I tried to take the smart road to avoid situations like this...But I guess its time to allow my path to change since I am with someone who didn't make the right decisions.
I just want to figure out the best solution so that when I marry my boyfriend, he doesn't seem like a dead beat dad, because he's actually great with his child, and he's always on top of his child support as well. The court even told him he was paying way too much child support. They cut it in half, and had it come out of his paycheck automatically so that she would stop asking him to give her more money. He's a GREAT father!
I realize that the court can't stop his child support obligations just because I want him to stay at home. I'm trying to figure out a plan that can work out for all of us, and the child have little, or no frustration through all of this.
It might seem simpler for me to ignore how much money would come from my paycheck but if his ex would get a real job or career, the difference in pay wouldnt be so vast and wouldn't make such a big deal. Especially when I am fed up with trying to help her when she doesn't want to help herself.
What can I really do in a crazy situation like this?
Suck it up and give up what I have to? After all, when we marry I am accepting him and everything that comes along with him, good or bad.