taxes and alimony with legal separaton

[artms]

What is the name of your state? California
My husband and I have been informally separated for several years now. Never took it further because we didn't think it was necessary, tax benefits, health insurance, the usual. However as his income has increased he's tying it up more and more so that there is less to live on. We don't agree about finances and I'm beginning to think that not only do I need some outside help to get support for my interests but that in the end there may be tax advantages.
Neither of us want to sell the properties. He will retire in three years and we've decided to divide the retirement in half. He makes approximately 200,000/year with his primary employment and consulting. He has placed the total burden of taxes for consulting on the primary income although it derives no benefit from the additional income. I believe he takes home 4000-5000/mo free and clear that way. He's decided that I should receive 1500/mo.Little tight to live on that. We've been married 32 years and I have never worked and have no skills. Our children are grown and gone. I have no debt, I'm very careful about budgeting, but I'm a little worried he will start accruing debt. I know he wants me to have only what he thinks I deserve and wants to keep most money to himself. I also recieved and inheritance which has never been commingled. There is a small income generated from that which I don't access. We file taxes jointly.

I think what we are doing now is basically what we would be doing if we were legally separated but there wouldn't be the conflict we currently have. In terms of taxes, I know it would benefit him to write off spousal support.
What I'm wondering is what my support might likely be and how long it might last. Not sure what the tax implications would be for me.
I'm trying to determine whether to pursue this.

[Ohiogal]

YOu would pay income tax on any alimony yourecieved. If he earns $200000 you may roughly get $30k depending on expenses if not more. No one can guess really accurately because you have NOT given enough information.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by artms

What is the name of your state? California
My husband and I have been informally separated for several years now. Never took it further because we didn't think it was necessary, tax benefits, health insurance, the usual. However as his income has increased he's tying it up more and more so that there is less to live on. We don't agree about finances and I'm beginning to think that not only do I need some outside help to get support for my interests but that in the end there may be tax advantages.
Neither of us want to sell the properties. He will retire in three years and we've decided to divide the retirement in half. He makes approximately 200,000/year with his primary employment and consulting. He has placed the total burden of taxes for consulting on the primary income although it derives no benefit from the additional income. I believe he takes home 4000-5000/mo free and clear that way. He's decided that I should receive 1500/mo.Little tight to live on that. We've been married 32 years and I have never worked and have no skills. Our children are grown and gone. I have no debt, I'm very careful about budgeting, but I'm a little worried he will start accruing debt. I know he wants me to have only what he thinks I deserve and wants to keep most money to himself. I also recieved and inheritance which has never been commingled. There is a small income generated from that which I don't access. We file taxes jointly.

I think what we are doing now is basically what we would be doing if we were legally separated but there wouldn't be the conflict we currently have. In terms of taxes, I know it would benefit him to write off spousal support.
What I'm wondering is what my support might likely be and how long it might last. Not sure what the tax implications would be for me.
I'm trying to determine whether to pursue this.

I truly feel that its in your best interest to get a consult with a local attorney. I sincerely doubt that with 200k in income that his free and clear is only 4000-5000 a month. Not when his secondary income is consulting.

After 32 years of marriage your support would likely be for your/his lifetime, unless you truly got a real 50% of his retirement benefits and he actually retires in three years.

Get yourself a consult with a local attorney.

[artms]

He didn't pay his estimated taxes last year and wanted me to pay a portion of them which I refused because I had paid my taxes. He then put it on a credit card and increased the withholding significantly reducing the income available. I'm handling the finances so he then had me paying off the credit card with what was left along with all the other bills and told me 1500 would be sufficient for me to live on. He did hint that he would like to adjust his retirement to me until he has as much money as I have inherited. I haven't touched my inheritance because if he were to die before he retires, I wouldn't get his pension.
I don't know how my dividends fit into the equation for alimony. It amounts to 15000/year but is taxed at a high tax bracket.I also don't know if he will be entitled to any of it.
Anyway, one way or another he is probably getting more than that a month, but I don't really know. I do know that this is now pretty dysfunctional and I probably would be better off having things legalized so as to bypass this current situation.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by artms

He didn't pay his estimated taxes last year and wanted me to pay a portion of them which I refused because I had paid my taxes. He then put it on a credit card and increased the withholding significantly reducing the income available. I'm handling the finances so he then had me paying off the credit card with what was left along with all the other bills and told me 1500 would be sufficient for me to live on. He did hint that he would like to adjust his retirement to me until he has as much money as I have inherited. I haven't touched my inheritance because if he were to die before he retires, I wouldn't get his pension.
I don't know how my dividends fit into the equation for alimony. It amounts to 15000/year but is taxed at a high tax bracket.I also don't know if he will be entitled to any of it.
Anyway, one way or another he is probably getting more than that a month, but I don't really know. I do know that this is now pretty dysfunctional and I probably would be better off having things legalized so as to bypass this current situation.

Hon, you NEED an attorney...NOW.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Hon, you NEED an attorney...NOW.

And in the meantime, get your ass to work.

[artms]

OK. I didn't want to see an attorney to get a divorce because I couldn't bear to lose the home I literally built by hand. But I think a separation will accomplish what I need. Sounds like it won't be worse and might offer me some protection. I'm trying to find a way for him to buy into it as a tax advantage. I think it might go more smoothly. I know attorneys can become very adversarial and I'd like it to be collaborative..although we aren't speaking now. Hmmm

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by artms

OK. I didn't want to see an attorney to get a divorce because I couldn't bear to lose the home I literally built by hand.

Give us a freaking break!!

But I think a separation will accomplish what I need. Sounds like it won't be worse and might offer me some protection. I'm trying to find a way for him to buy into it as a tax advantage. I think it might go more smoothly. I know attorneys can become very adversarial and I'd like it to be collaborative..although we aren't speaking now. Hmmm

You won't win by being collaborative.

[artms]

Hi Bali Hai

What do you mean by "You won't win by being collaborative."

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by artms

Hi Bali Hai

What do you mean by "You won't win by being collaborative."

Hon, you need an attorney to protect your interests. You need someone who is not emotionally tied to the situation to help you make good decisions.

You don't have to file for divorce, just for a legal separation. It doesn't have to be nasty, but your husband is going to walk all over you if you don't get some help.

[artms]

Hi LDiJ

I have sat here and read your words over and over. I know you're right. I'm afraid an attorney will walk all over me too.I know that's irrational but I suppose you can tell that there's a history of that which keeps me from doing what I need to do. It's fear. Thank you so much for you honest input.
My husband is very underhanded and arrogant. He's also very manipulative and for people who don't know him as I do, they may not suspect his behavior. The other thing is that he works with the legal system here representing patients so I'm not sure how that would work out. I'm hoping that it's just a straight forward,formulaic, by the law protection, something honest and just without the, as you say, emotional strain that now exists. I feel that as much as I have tried to be honorable, responsible, and fair, I'm really playing with someone who is a master at manipulation and it's way out of my league. I'm just not good at that and the more I try to adjust the worse it seems to be getting.

Thank you.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by artms

Hi LDiJ

I have sat here and read your words over and over. I know you're right. I'm afraid an attorney will walk all over me too.I know that's irrational but I suppose you can tell that there's a history of that which keeps me from doing what I need to do. It's fear. Thank you so much for you honest input.
My husband is very underhanded and arrogant. He's also very manipulative and for people who don't know him as I do, they may not suspect his behavior.

Tell your attorney everything and everything means everything.

The other thing is that he works with the legal system here representing patients so I'm not sure how that would work out. I'm hoping that it's just a straight forward,formulaic, by the law protection, something honest and just without the, as you say, emotional strain that now exists. I feel that as much as I have tried to be honorable, responsible, and fair,

Throw those attributes out the window. You are going to have to fight fire with fire.

I'm really playing with someone who is a master at manipulation and it's way out of my league. I'm just not good at that and the more I try to adjust the worse it seems to be getting.

Thank you.

Your divorce is not going to be straight forward.

[artms]

I really don't want a divorce. I want a legal separation. Can that be straight forward?
I can give an attorney all the information. What I have difficulty doing is fighting fire with fire. Don't know how to do that. Don't know exactly what that means. How would I know if I have an attorney that will?
I do know what I think is right and fair but that doesn't seem to be helping.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by artms

I really don't want a divorce. I want a legal separation. Can that be straight forward?
I can give an attorney all the information. What I have difficulty doing is fighting fire with fire. Don't know how to do that. Don't know exactly what that means. How would I know if I have an attorney that will?
I do know what I think is right and fair but that doesn't seem to be helping.

Your attorney will handle it properly. Ask friends or acquaintances for referrals to good attorneys.

[artms]

One other question. Does filing jointly change the character of my separate proeprty to community property? It has never been commingled.