tcops

[tcops]

What is the name of your state? Michigan
Our marrage has been in disrepair for years. The kids are raised and the time is nearing for the big split.
The spouse is on SSD and claims he will not take support from me. Can he waive the right to support?

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tcops

What is the name of your state? Michigan
Our marrage has been in disrepair for years. The kids are raised and the time is nearing for the big split.
The spouse is on SSD and claims he will not take support from me. Can he waive the right to support?

Sure he can do that. But he would be stupid to do so. You owe him for all those years of sacrifice he made during the marriage for your benefit to get where you are today.

If the situation were reversed, I'm sure you would feel the same way.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Sure he can do that. But he would be stupid to do so. You owe him for all those years of sacrifice he made during the marriage for your benefit to get where you are today.

If the situation were reversed, I'm sure you would feel the same way.

Assuming that he made any sacrifice. Not enough information was given to indicate one way or the other.

[Ohiogal]

Now now if you look at it he made some sacrifice because all spouses are seen as sacrificing for the good of the marriage -- either by contributing to the home and hearth or bringing up the bacon. I think that is what Bali is getting at.

[tcops]

No. I'm the one who made the sacrifice. He's a drinker. I've been the major support sense marrage. At this point he he contributes nothing to the mortage utilities, auto insurance or food. He keeps all his SSD and is running a major debt on a credit card by way of cash advances and putting it in a secet acc. and lies about it There must be a way for me to shed the responsibilty of his debts.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Ohiogal

Now now if you look at it he made some sacrifice because all spouses are seen as sacrificing for the good of the marriage -- either by contributing to the home and hearth or bringing up the bacon. I think that is what Bali is getting at.

That is correct Ohiogal.

It really galls me when people infer that only the wife can claim she sacrificed her career for the marriage and is therefore "entitled" to get money she didn't have to earn for the rest of her life.

In truth the wife didn't want to develope a career in the first place. That would interfer with the daily soaps and long phone conversations about nothing.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tcops

No. I'm the one who made the sacrifice. He's a drinker.I've been the major support sense marrage. At this point he he contributes nothing to the mortage utilities, auto insurance or food. He keeps all his SSD and is running a major debt on a credit card by way of cash advances and putting it in a secet acc. and lies about it There must be a way for me to shed the responsibilty of his debts.

And you will provide support after the marriage IF the court orders it.

Bad behavior usually has nothing to do with a property settlement. You married him for better or worse.

[tcops]

I'm not sugesting that he get nothing. 50/50 is the law unless I could prove his lying , sneaking and cheating. It could then go 60/40 in my favor He's completely reckless with money. Self centered. His money is his and my money is ours. AThere was never a prolem with fact that I made more thatn him, even when he was working untill I cought him lying about pocket cash. He thinks he should have what ever he wants with the excuse that "you can't take it with you, spen it all and leave nothing for the sirvivor" If the table were turned , I would be right with him. He is not more dissabled than I am, but I've had to continue to work to keep our home and support the childern.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tcops

I'm not sugesting that he get nothing. 50/50 is the law unless I could prove his lying , sneaking and cheating. It could then go 60/40 in my favor He's completely reckless with money. Self centered. His money is his and my money is ours. AThere was never a prolem with fact that I made more thatn him, even when he was working untill I cought him lying about pocket cash. He thinks he should have what ever he wants with the excuse that "you can't take it with you, spen it all and leave nothing for the sirvivor" If the table were turned , I would be right with him. He is not more dissabled than I am, but I've had to continue to work to keep our home and support the childern.

This is every husbands song and dance going thru a divorce. The shoe is now on the other foot and we have to create a different set of rules??

Tell it to the court. I'm sure everything will work out ok for YOU.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by tcops

I'm not sugesting that he get nothing. 50/50 is the law unless I could prove his lying , sneaking and cheating. It could then go 60/40 in my favor He's completely reckless with money. Self centered. His money is his and my money is ours. AThere was never a prolem with fact that I made more thatn him, even when he was working untill I cought him lying about pocket cash. He thinks he should have what ever he wants with the excuse that "you can't take it with you, spen it all and leave nothing for the sirvivor" If the table were turned , I would be right with him. He is not more dissabled than I am, but I've had to continue to work to keep our home and support the childern.

50/50? Hmmm really? Are you sure about that? I believe Michigan is an equitable distribution state. Which doens't mean 50/50. He apparently is more disabled than you are since he is collecting SSD. And your argument doesn't matter in court. If you have a long term marriage -- he has provided something to the marriage in that time or you would not have been with him so he can get something.