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  #1  
Old 05-25-2005, 11:56 AM
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Alimony for adulterers?


What is the name of your state? UT

My husband was ordered to pay Temporary Alimony to his ex wife. His lawyer told him this was clearly not an alimony case. He does not make a whole lot of money, and she works full time. He objected to the commissioners decision. The judge denied the objection. He wouldn't even hear the case!

There was never an evidenciary hearing. The only information they made the decision on was the budgets they each submitted. Our lawyer (who we are beginning to suspect works for the other side), told us we could not mention fault of the divorce (multiple affairs, domestic violence, and child abuse, on her part. All documented). And he said it would be nine or ten months before we could have a full blown hearing on the subject. Now with child support and Alimony they are only leaving him with $1000.00 a month to live on. That is way below poverty level! Is there anything we can do? Is this Lawyer doing his job or is there somthing else he should be doing?

Please some one help us out!!!!

Last edited by DIVORCEACIDE; 05-25-2005 at 02:01 PM. Reason: no response
  #2  
Old 05-26-2005, 08:00 AM
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When was the temporary alimony ordered? Is there a final order? What are the grounds that your husband is claiming are a reason to reduce/terminate alimony? You really didn't providee a heck of a lot of information for anyone to work with.
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  #3  
Old 05-26-2005, 08:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DIVORCEACIDE
What is the name of your state? UT
Is there anything we can do?
Of course there is. YOU find a job.
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  #4  
Old 05-26-2005, 09:12 AM
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The Alimony was ordered to be paid in April, but back dated to February 1. It is still just a temporary order at the moment. The reason I should not have to pay it are:

1) I was leaving a violent and mentally abusive wife. (2 COUNTS CILD ABUSE ONE COUNT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE THE DAY I LEFT) She pled guilty to those charges, and is now on a plea and abeyance. Since my their youngest has come to our house with a black eye twice, and bruises on her legs where her mmom kicked her repeatedly.

2) The ex started cheating, bringing men home while I was working, about ten years ago, that I know of. The girls 2 & 5 at the time remember her kissing one guy on many occasions. At least the oldest remembers.

3) The ex has and can still earn more money than I can with her qualifications and experience. She once was offered a job for nineteen dollars an hour, and turned it down. She makes okay money now, but is certainly underemployed.

4) I have another family to support and that is supposed to be a consideration. I am currently paying child support and have no problem with that. She brings home more than I do with just the child support.

5) I give her 1,400.00 a month right out of my check and bring home $1000.00 a month. They are not supposed to take out more than 50% of my net, so I have no idea how they come up with that figure! I also have a daughter from my firs wife. I pay her $145.00 a month. I am not a dead beat dad, but I guess I have to make up for them. They are definately p[utting me through the ringer!

In Utah they are supposed to consider fault of the divorce (new law) and the payors ability to pay, as well as the recipients need and ability to earn.

Do you need more reasons than that?
  #5  
Old 05-26-2005, 09:25 AM
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When were you divorced, and when did the new law go into effect?
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  #6  
Old 05-26-2005, 10:08 AM
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The divorce was started in August. We bierfacated the divorce and that was final in March. The other issues (custody, Alimony, division of property was set aside.) The law was introduced a couple of years ago. However, the district courts are slow to put them into effect!

It sounds like you have gone through some of the hell I have been through! (read some of your old posts)

Thanks for your responses!
  #7  
Old 05-26-2005, 10:25 AM
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And you're already remarried? Does your new wife have kids with you?
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She will be missed.

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  #8  
Old 05-26-2005, 10:26 AM
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I was also wondering if it is a normal thing for courts to have different rules for temporary alimony hearings, as far as hearing evidence. I don't see why they can't just get all the arguements done the first go round. At least it would be just! If they don't allow all the aruments they should at least hear objections?!?! I am trying to find out if our Lawyer is in the up and up. It is possible he has been paid off to lose... The other side has money. He is basically working for trade mechanic work. I just need to find out if he is following norma proceedures. If we fire him we will have a hell of a hard time paying for a lawyer now that all the money is going to the ex
  #9  
Old 05-26-2005, 10:30 AM
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Not a clue if temp alimony hearings are different (I suspect not), but when we had temp CS orders, the judge just looked at the base numbers and set an amount. No arguments, no evidence, not objections. That's all saved for the actual hearing.
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Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them in with your favorite colors.
The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini



*********
R.I.P. Penny.
8/12/97 - 11/12/09
She was a good hound,
and a good friend.
She will be missed.

*********
  #10  
Old 05-26-2005, 10:45 AM
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No kids with me... She has 3 with her ex husband. They share custody 50/50. I couldn't have left with out the support- I know my ex too well. her family has a lot of money and I new they would use it! (private investigaters, top dog lawyers exct..) Or I would have left her years ago. When I left my wife, we (now wife) were freinds. Now it is the best thing that has happened to either of us. Despite the ex and her crap!
  #11  
Old 05-26-2005, 10:53 AM
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Is there any way to hurry things up a bit, that you know of? an emergency hearing? She filed a bankruptcy and that should be enough to get her back to court. But we can't get our lawyer to set a date.
  #12  
Old 05-26-2005, 11:20 AM
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When the commisioner looked at the budgets, the ex completely blew up her expenses. She had things like $300.00 dry cleaning bill per month, $350.00 in lessons (the kids were not in). $400.00 entertainment and so on..

But when she filed Bankruptcy, her budget was a lot smaller. So we have proof she was not truthful. I disclosed everything, including my wife's income, wich the commisioner stated, himself, is not enough for her and her three kids! (he missed the part that she has shared custody, because she is not a greedy b*** just after the child support!).
  #13  
Old 05-26-2005, 02:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BelizeBreeze
Of course there is. YOU find a job.

What does this mean? I have a job- in fact, two, We have to pay the infadel b****.
  #14  
Old 05-26-2005, 02:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DIVORCEACIDE
What does this mean? I have a job- in fact, two, We have to pay the infadel b****.
I think the confusion lies in the fact that there are two different people making these posts. The remark to get a job was directed to the person who made the original post and that appears to be your wife, not you.
  #15  
Old 05-26-2005, 03:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MandyD
I think the confusion lies in the fact that there are two different people making these posts. The remark to get a job was directed to the person who made the original post and that appears to be your wife, not you.
This is the wife (this time). We both have two jobs!!! Since the alimony was ordered to be paid, we had to do what we could do to keep a roof over our heads.
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