Tennesse alimony and child support

[Proserpina]

Here's how your posts can easily be perceived:

You chose to follow your husband, essentially chose not to work, and chose to stay at home with the kids. All might be admirable in their way, but you can't hold it against him that you chose to do these things when you were married. Had you been married for longer (20 years or so perhaps) the law might see things a little differently.

You also chose not to apply for disability; you're not clear whether you are actually able to work (if you can work from home, you can work) or not. If you're truly not able to work then you NEED to pursue SSI/SSDI. This is not welfare. If you can work, then you need to be working.

The implication is that you feel that you'd be doing him a favor in NOT asking for alimony; so far though you haven't really made a case of why you SHOULD get alimony at all.

It needs to be reiterated: You can't afford to rely on either CS or alimony (should it actually be awarded), and you both need to be supporting your children - not just one of you (which would be the case if you're living off of Dad's CS and/or alimony payments).

Please, see an attorney.

[lostmymind]

I apologize if I came across as snippy in my last couple of posts. I guess I felt as if people were seeing me as a gold-digger and that cannot be further from the truth.

The reasons that I feel I should receive some sort of temporary alimony are as follows...

Yes, we did make the decision that I would stay home and be the homemaker. This is something we both felt strongly about and did it for the sake of our children...not because I wanted to sit at home and do nothing to contribute to the household. In doing so, I willingly gave up the chance of furthering my education or building a foundation for a future career. I had planned on staying married until death do us part.

Due to the nature of his job (the amount of travel time involved) and with me raising two small children, it was not feasible for me to pursue a career. I did extensive research on online businesses, all of which turned out to be scams. In addition, he was in the process of taking correspondence courses (which the job paid for) so I kept the kiddos out of his hair to give him the time needed time to study at home to finish his courses of study. I had looked into several different options as far as night courses, correspondence courses, real estate, cosmetology school, etc. We didn't have the money for college courses for me...(his education, again, was paid for by his job). Night courses were out of the question, again....who was going to watch the kids when he was out of town when I had night classes? I did not foresee divorce in our future so I didn't press the issues. Yes, I know now....big mistake. I guess I am old school and believed in the basic "Leave it to Beaver" stereotype.

I did not anticipate the marriage falling apart. I did not anticipate him having an affair...I didn't anticipate learning of his hidden drug abuse and steroid use. But it happened and now here I am.

I think that I deserve the chance...for the kids and for me....to have a little help from him for a set period of time to get on my feet so that I can provide for our children and myself. I put my chances for a stable career on the back burner for a very long time so that he could pursue his dreams and so that we could do what we thought was in the best interests of our children. I don't think it is too much to ask to give me that same chance. I am not asking for long-term alimony....just set amount of time that it would take for me to gain some skills that will enable me to become self-sufficient.

As far as my home business, I make jewelry. I sit at a table and make jewelry. I did this so that I could feel that in some way that I was contributing financially to the household. It wasn't much, but it was what I was able to do. So, yes...I can work from home making up to $3000.00/year, but this is not going to support our kids.

I guess I have put myself in a very bad situation by deciding to be a stay at home mom. I get it from both sides....either I am lazy and don't want to work so that's why I am a homemaker, or.....if I had gone to work outside of the home, then I cared more abut money than I did about my children. Whatever people think of me, it doesn't matter...I know that what was best for our children was for me to be home with them. Now I look like a lazy gold-digger to ask for a little help me get on my feet. After that.....he can be done with me and never give me another penny....I don't care. I supported him, left my family, and moved to three different states so that he could do what he wanted to do.

Again, I want to reiterate......I do not want permanent alimony. I did not want sympathy when I mentioned my physical conditions. In my initial post, I didn't even mention it. I will say that my immunologist advises against full-time strenuous work. The medication I take is a chemotherapy drug that is used to suppress the immune system so that it doesn't attack my organs. I think I can handle standing up for 6 hours a day cutting or coloring someone's hair. That's why cosmetology school sounds like a feasible game plan for me to at least get me started. That way I can work from home and still be here for the kids. After that....I am on my own.

I guess if I am being unreasonable to ask for rehabilitative temporary alimony, I need to take a step back and make sure that I am not asking for too much. Guess that's what I came here for. Thanks for the input.