trying to avoid bogus spousal support

[ericcomputer]

What is the name of your state? California, but I now live in NY

Hopefully there's someone out there who can offer some advice to me with this simple, but strange situation:

I was married for 10 years in CA (NO KIDS), then I moved to NY and got divorced. She is still in CA. Divorce is final, and ex-wife was awarded an obscene amount of spousal support ($1600/mo) which is WAY more than I can afford, and she got most everything out of the divorce settlement and stuck me with most of the joint debt. Also, recently somehow, she was successful in filing for (and granted) chapter 7 (full) bankruptcy, so now I'm stuck with ALL debt. I most always made the money in our marriage, but she refused to get a job and help support our household for most of our marriage, so that is one of the main reasons I divorced her.

Prior to going to court & wasting money on attorneys, etc., I offered to work it out ourselves, split everything evenly and fairly, give her a nice little extra sum of money to help her start out her new life by herself, and continue paying her $500 per month for at least a couple of years until she can build a lifestyle to support herself and not need my support any more. She refused and demanded to "do it the hard way", so it got ugly from there.

So in my mind, she doesn't DESERVE any support, and now I down right REFUSE to pay her any more money. I'm willing to make nearly any sacrifice to make sure she doesn't get another cent from me. She cleaned me out and wants to continue to take me for all I'm worth.

My attorney told me that it will be very difficult (and expensive) for her to chase me down in New York from California and try to garnish my wages, etc., so he advised I just ignore her. So far, for nearly the past year, that strategy has worked until now.

Just yesterday, an attempt was made at my office to serve me with "papers" of unknown origin. Fortunately, I was out of the office at the time, but I'm sure they'll be back. I have no idea if these papers are from a creditor or from her attorney. There is one bad (previously joint) debt that a collection agency tried (but presumably gave up) to collect -- so there is a chance that this could be from them, but I seriously doubt they know where I work or live. My ex-wife knows where I work, and has already tried to garnish my wages by sending my employer a letter demanding that money be sent to them, but my employer checked with his attorney and he actually said he was unsure about this situation with a California lawyer and California court order. As mentioned above, however, my attorney (who is in CA) maintains that my ex would need to hire an attorney in NY and get another court order in NY to be able to enforce a wage garnishment...because supposedly the CA court has no jurastiction in the state of NY (or any other state for that matter).

So.... this situation spawns several questions:
1. Has anyone else been down the path of trying to collect (or avoiding to pay) alimony across state lines, and if so, was my lawyer correct?
2. Is there a way that my ex (or her lawyer) can find out my new home address, bank account information, etc. without my knowledge? To date, I have received nothing at my new home address since I moved about 6 months ago from another location in NYC...and I DO have a mail forward in place. (BTW, I'm assuming my ex does NOT know where my new home address is, because I have had no attempts through mail or otherwise of contact there)
3. If she files for contempt of court in California (because I haven't paid her any spousal support), what happens then? I know in some states they can put you in jail for being in contempt. Is California one of those states? Does the fact that I now live in NY make a difference?

Just as a precaution, I was going to clean out my bank account and start cashing my paychecks for a while and keep the cash to avoid any possible surprise of having my bank account frozen. Am I being to paranoid?

Any help/comments/advice would be much appreciated!

Thank you.What is the name of your state?

 

[Silverplum]

No one reputable here will help you break a court order, or the law.

What is the name of your state? California, but I now live in NY

Hopefully there's someone out there who can offer some advice to me with this simple, but strange situation:

I was married for 10 years in CA (NO KIDS), then I moved to NY and got divorced. She is still in CA. Divorce is final, and ex-wife was awarded an obscene amount of spousal support ($1600/mo) which is WAY more than I can afford, and she got most everything out of the divorce settlement and stuck me with most of the joint debt. Also, recently somehow, she was successful in filing for (and granted) chapter 7 (full) bankruptcy, so now I'm stuck with ALL debt. I most always made the money in our marriage, but she refused to get a job and help support our household for most of our marriage, so that is one of the main reasons I divorced her.

Prior to going to court & wasting money on attorneys, etc., I offered to work it out ourselves, split everything evenly and fairly, give her a nice little extra sum of money to help her start out her new life by herself, and continue paying her $500 per month for at least a couple of years until she can build a lifestyle to support herself and not need my support any more. She refused and demanded to "do it the hard way", so it got ugly from there.

So in my mind, she doesn't DESERVE any support, and now I down right REFUSE to pay her any more money. I'm willing to make nearly any sacrifice to make sure she doesn't get another cent from me. She cleaned me out and wants to continue to take me for all I'm worth.

My attorney told me that it will be very difficult (and expensive) for her to chase me down in New York from California and try to garnish my wages, etc., so he advised I just ignore her. So far, for nearly the past year, that strategy has worked until now.

Just yesterday, an attempt was made at my office to serve me with "papers" of unknown origin. Fortunately, I was out of the office at the time, but I'm sure they'll be back. I have no idea if these papers are from a creditor or from her attorney. There is one bad (previously joint) debt that a collection agency tried (but presumably gave up) to collect -- so there is a chance that this could be from them, but I seriously doubt they know where I work or live. My ex-wife knows where I work, and has already tried to garnish my wages by sending my employer a letter demanding that money be sent to them, but my employer checked with his attorney and he actually said he was unsure about this situation with a California lawyer and California court order. As mentioned above, however, my attorney (who is in CA) maintains that my ex would need to hire an attorney in NY and get another court order in NY to be able to enforce a wage garnishment...because supposedly the CA court has no jurastiction in the state of NY (or any other state for that matter).

So.... this situation spawns several questions:
1. Has anyone else been down the path of trying to collect (or avoiding to pay) alimony across state lines, and if so, was my lawyer correct?
2. Is there a way that my ex (or her lawyer) can find out my new home address, bank account information, etc. without my knowledge? To date, I have received nothing at my new home address since I moved about 6 months ago from another location in NYC...and I DO have a mail forward in place. (BTW, I'm assuming my ex does NOT know where my new home address is, because I have had no attempts through mail or otherwise of contact there)
3. If she files for contempt of court in California (because I haven't paid her any spousal support), what happens then? I know in some states they can put you in jail for being in contempt. Is California one of those states? Does the fact that I now live in NY make a difference?

Just as a precaution, I was going to clean out my bank account and start cashing my paychecks for a while and keep the cash to avoid any possible surprise of having my bank account frozen. Am I being to paranoid?

Any help/comments/advice would be much appreciated!

Thank you.What is the name of your state?

 

[Zigner]

The legally correct answer is that you should comply with the terms of the court order.

 

[Silverplum]

SP's still got the fastest fingers in the west!

but you *love* me still, right??

 

[Zigner]

SP's still got the fastest fingers in the west!

but you *love* me still, right??

Even MORE than before!

 

[Silverplum]

Even MORE than before!

Man, that is THE best answer I've ever gotten to any question I've ever asked!

 

[Zigner]

OP has avenues available to LEGALLY challenge this. There is way more to the story than we are being told.

 

[ericcomputer]

The legally correct answer is that you should comply with the terms of the court order.

If I did that, I would literally be BROKE and on the street with no place to live (because I couldn't afford my rent or much else). Yes, not complying with the court order IS breaking the law -- So is driving 56 in a 55 zone (oh gee, tell me you've never done THAT!) but it should also be illegal for courts to be able to assign unreasonable support amounts. Sure, everyone is entitled to "maintain the same standard of living", but in this case, no one is going to be able to do that -- especially me if I'm expected to pay far more than I can afford. This "Dissomaster" program that the lawyers say was used to determine spousal support amounts...Has that ever been updated since the 80's? Where the heck do they get these figures? The reality of the situation is that I cannot survive with the amounts as they have been decided.

She got over $60K out of the division of property, I got about $10K + I got stuck with over $65K of HER debts, and now after her BK, they can't even go after her for that. Anything more I would have hoped to gain by fighting for more would have been consumed by legal costs, and yes, she got me for $6000 of HER lawyer's costs too! This was a no-win situation for me. What's wrong with this picture!!!???

Suppose I lost my job, or my wages suddenly decreased below hers -- Maybe I should just go back to court in CA and counter-sue HER for support! (Who knows how I'll be able to afford that, but I suppose it's cheaper than $96K of support over 5 years!) She must have finally gotten some kind of job in order to have been granted chapter 7 bankruptcy. I wouldn't put it past her that she had her mom report her as an employee of her business and forged employment paperwork just so that she qualified for BK...

My original questions at the top of this thread were not written to ask for advice on how to break the law, but I want to know HOW/WHAT the possible next steps from her side could be/would be in my scenario, and I wanted to know from others if my lawyer's comments about intra-state jurastictions for enforcing an out-of-state court order are correct. They are more "what-if" questions.

To SILVERPLUM: Please don't post lame answers on here with your belief on how others SHOULD react or answer, such as your comment of "No one reputable here will help you break a court order, or the law." I'm asking for what-if advice on how the law works, not instructions on how to break it. I'll make my own decisions in that area! If YOU have YOUR comment, please post it. But don't generalize your answer on behalf of everyone else. Next time, say "I will not help you break a court order, or the law"...or better yet, just don't post anything in reply at all if you don't have something positive to contribute.

 

[Silverplum]

To SILVERPLUM: Please don't post lame answers on here with your belief on how others SHOULD react or answer, such as your comment of "No one reputable here will help you break a court order, or the law." I'm asking for what-if advice on how the law works, not instructions on how to break it. I'll make my own decisions in that area! If YOU have YOUR comment, please post it. But don't generalize your answer on behalf of everyone else. Next time, say "I will not help you break a court order, or the law"...or better yet, just don't post anything in reply at all if you don't have something positive to contribute.

You can't read, boy. What I wrote was, "No one reputable here will help you break a court order, or the law."

Just because you don't LIKE my answer does NOT make it invalid. In fact, you're showing your shorts, because the fact that I upset your tiny evil feelings tells me all I need to know about your ethics.

Truth is, someone completely DISREPUTABLE here will, indeed, try to answer your unethical question. Then I will come along and mock all of you.

 

[ericcomputer]

OP has avenues available to LEGALLY challenge this. There is way more to the story than we are being told.

You are most definitely correct -- I provided the salient points. There are indeed many more details but this would be 5 pages long if I went over the whole history.

What is OP?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

If I did that, I would literally be BROKE and on the street with no place to live (because I couldn't afford my rent or much else). Yes, not complying with the court order IS breaking the law -- So is driving 56 in a 55 zone (oh gee, tell me you've never done THAT!) but it should also be illegal for courts to be able to assign unreasonable support amounts. Sure, everyone is entitled to "maintain the same standard of living", but in this case, no one is going to be able to do that -- especially me if I'm expected to pay far more than I can afford. This "Dissomaster" program that the lawyers say was used to determine spousal support amounts...Has that ever been updated since the 80's? Where the heck do they get these figures? The reality of the situation is that I cannot survive with the amounts as they have been decided.

She got over $60K out of the division of property, I got about $10K + I got stuck with over $65K of HER debts, and now after her BK, they can't even go after her for that. Anything more I would have hoped to gain by fighting for more would have been consumed by legal costs, and yes, she got me for $6000 of HER lawyer's costs too! This was a no-win situation for me. What's wrong with this picture!!!???

Suppose I lost my job, or my wages suddenly decreased below hers -- Maybe I should just go back to court in CA and counter-sue HER for support! (Who knows how I'll be able to afford that, but I suppose it's cheaper than $96K of support over 5 years!) She must have finally gotten some kind of job in order to have been granted chapter 7 bankruptcy. I wouldn't put it past her that she had her mom report her as an employee of her business and forged employment paperwork just so that she qualified for BK...

My original questions at the top of this thread were not written to ask for advice on how to break the law, but I want to know HOW/WHAT the possible next steps from her side could be/would be in my scenario, and I wanted to know from others if my lawyer's comments about intra-state jurastictions for enforcing an out-of-state court order are correct. They are more "what-if" questions.

To SILVERPLUM: Please don't post lame answers on here with your belief on how others SHOULD react or answer, such as your comment of "No one reputable here will help you break a court order, or the law." I'm asking for what-if advice on how the law works, not instructions on how to break it. I'll make my own decisions in that area!

If YOU have YOUR comment, please post it. But don't generalize your answer on behalf of everyone else. Next time, say "I will not help you break a court order, or the law"...or better yet, just don't post anything in reply at all if you don't have something positive to contribute.

Are you alway's this bossy? You posted on a forum for all to see. In kind, we are free to respond, despite you ording people on what to say.

SP is correct, No one reputable on a legal advice board will help you.

 

[fairisfair]

You are most definitely correct -- I provided the salient points. There are indeed many more details but this would be 5 pages long if I went over the whole history.

What is OP?

OP is you. Original Poster. Although admittedly, there are a couple of us, calling you a couple of other things.

Your attorney was far from correct and in fact is in violation of the bar if he is advising his client to break the law, he should be disbarred.

All employers are required to submit new employee information into a national registry. Eventually, they WILL catch up with you.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Your X can take it back to court for contempt of court. California can issue a wage assignment that will be sent to your New York employer. And yes, employers do honor garnishments from out of state courts.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

PS. They are right, your lawyer is wrong.