What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Utah
Hi everybody, and first of all, thanks for your time and attention. I'll try to make this post as short as possible, but there are many details to my case that cannot go overlooked, so I apologize in advance if the post comes out too long.
My husband (an ex service member of the US Army) and I got married on August 2004. Shortly after that, he got deployed to Iraq for second time and after coming back he got honorably discharged. He served a total of 10.5 years.
After getting out of the Army he never worked, alleging that he had PTSD and wasn't able to find any gainful employment that didn't "trigger" his issues. I fully supported him emotionally and financially throughout our marriage. I was the bread winner for pretty much all the time we were together. I'd always tried to get him to seek help at the VA and to use his GI Bill to study and improve himself while I was working to support our household. He'd always tell me to stop "nagging" him, and that he wasn't entitled to anything since he didn't retire after 20 years of service. I didn't know better at the time.
The situation became unbearable and in 2010 we decided to go to Spain for a temporary visit to my family and to give my husband a breath of fresh air in hopes that his "condition" improved. My folks even sent us money to help us out with the expenses and said money got stolen by my husband's sister, another "honorable" servicemember (I can expand upon this at your request).
Then a series of very unfortunate and painful events concerning my folks health (and the subsequent death of my father) ensued. My husband never moved a finger to learn the language or seek for any type of employment, always using the PTSD card as a excuse. Meanwhile I was the one working in anything I could find, studying and doing my best to take care of the family and our household. And of course my parents, a beautiful couple of octogenarian folks who always did anything they could to help their children, were the ones always there to support us in any possible way: emotionally and financially. My husband managed to fool us all.
In 2014 my husband got in touch with one of his old Army buddies who works for the VA. We agreed that he'd come back to the States to settle residency and financial stability and I'd join him upon completion of my studies. He landed in Florida on May 2014. His buddy hooked him up with all the paperwork at the VA and his disability claim got started. Somehow my husband managed to obtain an award of disability of 70% and the consequent monthly paycheck associated with it of about $1,500.00, along with a backpay of over $20,000.00, which he always told me that he'd put on a savings account in order to have some security until the moment I could join him and start working together towards our common goals and pay my parents for all the support given to us. Our relationship continued going on at a distance as it has previously done during his tours of duty in Iraq. Things seemed to be getting better for him and I couldn't be happier to see my husband improving day after day and working hard for a better future for us (so he claimed).
On May 2015, exactly a year after my husband's arrival to FL, I came to know via social media that my husband had been having an affair with one of his coworkers. Pretty much the moment his "disability" money hit the bank, he decided to skip the moral and economic debt to my parents and discard me like yesterday's trash. I confronted him that night and he cut me off completely, closed our joint bank account and moved into his mistress house. Any attempt to get a hold of him was met with either silence on his part or the paramour's derogatory, humiliating and threatening messages.
I managed to come back here and I had to go to the only place I could find some sort of support. Thanks to the help of my friends who graciously allowed me to live in their garage I could get a fresh start, got a minimum wage job and with a lot of sacrifice I managed to hire an attorney and finally filed for divorce on May 2016, a year after I found out about my husband's treacherous deeds. This attorney never had the slightest intention of fighting for my rights and pushed me for a mediation, promising that my husband was obligated to assist (which of course was a lie in order to get as much money as he could before dropping the case). All I wanted was to have at least a word from my husband, to see him face to face and get an explanation from him and at least some closure at last. My husband of course didn't show up, and the mediation had to be done by phone. My lawyer made me settle for an amount of $150.00 a month during three years. I was an emotional wreck at that moment.
I fully intend to have this stupid mediation voided and represent myself, taking this matter to the Courts. I am making minimum wage, and while I'm not even able able to afford health insurance, let alone a piece of junk car in order to find a better job, my husband has already bought his mistress two brand new cars and is supporting her and her offspring from different fathers. The "lady" in question also has a past history of taking advantage of mentally weak soldiers for her own benefits (at this point I would swear in front of God and men that my husband has been faking his alleged issues in order to get a free handout from Uncle Sam on the death of his own brothers-in-arms). His behaviour has been nothing short of narcissistic and psychopathic.
He has used my personal data and our marriage to get more money than he would be entitled to had he been single. He has always claimed me as a dependent without ever having given a dime for the support of our household. Right now he's getting his disability compensation, his full GI Bill benefits (housing, books and living allowances, the whole nine yards) and he's also working full time, something he never did during our marriage. For some odd reason it seems that government monies have been the miraculous cure for all his earlier "triggers" and "traumas", and all of a sudden he's able to work again. What a coincidence. Meanwhile, I'm living in the only place I can afford right now, a room with no windows across my place of work.
I fully intend to take this matter to the courts and represent myself, since that's all I can afford. I guess I also cannot afford PTSD after all the sorrow, pain and devastation that the so called "man" I married put me and my parents through. It is quite obvious that he concocted all this treachery since the very beginning and just wanted to keep me in Spain, and make his runaway as humiliating and painful as he possible could in order to crush me so I could never be able to get back on my feet and fight for my rights. He literally abandoned me in Spain hoping to leave me stranded and never see me again.
I need some legal advice on how to handle this case. And I need justice more than anything else. Which sadly, usually has nothing to do with men's law.
Thanks in advance.
Hi everybody, and first of all, thanks for your time and attention. I'll try to make this post as short as possible, but there are many details to my case that cannot go overlooked, so I apologize in advance if the post comes out too long.
My husband (an ex service member of the US Army) and I got married on August 2004. Shortly after that, he got deployed to Iraq for second time and after coming back he got honorably discharged. He served a total of 10.5 years.
After getting out of the Army he never worked, alleging that he had PTSD and wasn't able to find any gainful employment that didn't "trigger" his issues. I fully supported him emotionally and financially throughout our marriage. I was the bread winner for pretty much all the time we were together. I'd always tried to get him to seek help at the VA and to use his GI Bill to study and improve himself while I was working to support our household. He'd always tell me to stop "nagging" him, and that he wasn't entitled to anything since he didn't retire after 20 years of service. I didn't know better at the time.
The situation became unbearable and in 2010 we decided to go to Spain for a temporary visit to my family and to give my husband a breath of fresh air in hopes that his "condition" improved. My folks even sent us money to help us out with the expenses and said money got stolen by my husband's sister, another "honorable" servicemember (I can expand upon this at your request).
Then a series of very unfortunate and painful events concerning my folks health (and the subsequent death of my father) ensued. My husband never moved a finger to learn the language or seek for any type of employment, always using the PTSD card as a excuse. Meanwhile I was the one working in anything I could find, studying and doing my best to take care of the family and our household. And of course my parents, a beautiful couple of octogenarian folks who always did anything they could to help their children, were the ones always there to support us in any possible way: emotionally and financially. My husband managed to fool us all.
In 2014 my husband got in touch with one of his old Army buddies who works for the VA. We agreed that he'd come back to the States to settle residency and financial stability and I'd join him upon completion of my studies. He landed in Florida on May 2014. His buddy hooked him up with all the paperwork at the VA and his disability claim got started. Somehow my husband managed to obtain an award of disability of 70% and the consequent monthly paycheck associated with it of about $1,500.00, along with a backpay of over $20,000.00, which he always told me that he'd put on a savings account in order to have some security until the moment I could join him and start working together towards our common goals and pay my parents for all the support given to us. Our relationship continued going on at a distance as it has previously done during his tours of duty in Iraq. Things seemed to be getting better for him and I couldn't be happier to see my husband improving day after day and working hard for a better future for us (so he claimed).
On May 2015, exactly a year after my husband's arrival to FL, I came to know via social media that my husband had been having an affair with one of his coworkers. Pretty much the moment his "disability" money hit the bank, he decided to skip the moral and economic debt to my parents and discard me like yesterday's trash. I confronted him that night and he cut me off completely, closed our joint bank account and moved into his mistress house. Any attempt to get a hold of him was met with either silence on his part or the paramour's derogatory, humiliating and threatening messages.
I managed to come back here and I had to go to the only place I could find some sort of support. Thanks to the help of my friends who graciously allowed me to live in their garage I could get a fresh start, got a minimum wage job and with a lot of sacrifice I managed to hire an attorney and finally filed for divorce on May 2016, a year after I found out about my husband's treacherous deeds. This attorney never had the slightest intention of fighting for my rights and pushed me for a mediation, promising that my husband was obligated to assist (which of course was a lie in order to get as much money as he could before dropping the case). All I wanted was to have at least a word from my husband, to see him face to face and get an explanation from him and at least some closure at last. My husband of course didn't show up, and the mediation had to be done by phone. My lawyer made me settle for an amount of $150.00 a month during three years. I was an emotional wreck at that moment.
I fully intend to have this stupid mediation voided and represent myself, taking this matter to the Courts. I am making minimum wage, and while I'm not even able able to afford health insurance, let alone a piece of junk car in order to find a better job, my husband has already bought his mistress two brand new cars and is supporting her and her offspring from different fathers. The "lady" in question also has a past history of taking advantage of mentally weak soldiers for her own benefits (at this point I would swear in front of God and men that my husband has been faking his alleged issues in order to get a free handout from Uncle Sam on the death of his own brothers-in-arms). His behaviour has been nothing short of narcissistic and psychopathic.
He has used my personal data and our marriage to get more money than he would be entitled to had he been single. He has always claimed me as a dependent without ever having given a dime for the support of our household. Right now he's getting his disability compensation, his full GI Bill benefits (housing, books and living allowances, the whole nine yards) and he's also working full time, something he never did during our marriage. For some odd reason it seems that government monies have been the miraculous cure for all his earlier "triggers" and "traumas", and all of a sudden he's able to work again. What a coincidence. Meanwhile, I'm living in the only place I can afford right now, a room with no windows across my place of work.
I fully intend to take this matter to the courts and represent myself, since that's all I can afford. I guess I also cannot afford PTSD after all the sorrow, pain and devastation that the so called "man" I married put me and my parents through. It is quite obvious that he concocted all this treachery since the very beginning and just wanted to keep me in Spain, and make his runaway as humiliating and painful as he possible could in order to crush me so I could never be able to get back on my feet and fight for my rights. He literally abandoned me in Spain hoping to leave me stranded and never see me again.
I need some legal advice on how to handle this case. And I need justice more than anything else. Which sadly, usually has nothing to do with men's law.
Thanks in advance.