What can I expect

[tg7124]

What is the name of your state? WI

I've been married for 21 years but the marriage has been going south for the last 4 years.
We tried counsiling a few years back, but it just wasn't working. Well I've realized that this marriage is coming to it's end, and I'm good with it since we have many different interests.
I'm not so sure my wife feels the same way, although she keeps telling me to go if I'm not happy. Well she's not happy either! We both deserve the right to fall in love again if it cant be with each other...

She does threaten me that if I do want to divorce she will take me for every penny she can get. We do have a 14 yr old son, and I know I will be paying child support until he is 18.

She works part time, and I am prepared to pay Alimony. My question is How long should I plan on having to pay this? And How much will I have to be paying?
I make around 55,000 yr and she makes around 25,000.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tg7124

What is the name of your state? WI

I've been married for 21 years but the marriage has been going south for the last 4 years.
We tried counsiling a few years back, but it just wasn't working. Well I've realized that this marriage is coming to it's end, and I'm good with it since we have many different interests.
I'm not so sure my wife feels the same way, although she keeps telling me to go if I'm not happy. Well she's not happy either! We both deserve the right to fall in love again if it cant be with each other...

She does threaten me that if I do want to divorce she will take me for every penny she can get. We do have a 14 yr old son, and I know I will be paying child support until he is 18.

She works part time, and I am prepared to pay Alimony. My question is How long should I plan on having to pay this? And How much will I have to be paying?
I make around 55,000 yr and she makes around 25,000.

Well based on the limited facts you present here, plan on paying through your nose for life.

Very simply, take you income and subtract her income. Divide that number by two. Factor in both your earning potentials.

My guess is that you will be paying $8k to $15k in alimony for the forseeable future. If you can reach an agreement that betters these numbers, then the choice is yours.

Since she has taken the the stand that she is going to "take you for every penny she can", DO NOT agree to pay her a dime in alimony. Let the court suck that number out of its thumb.

[tg7124]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Well based on the limited facts you present here, plan on paying through your nose for life

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

.

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

Very simply, take you income and subtract her income. Divide that number by two. Factor in both your earning potentials.

My guess is that you will be paying $8k to $15k in alimony for the forseeable future. If you can reach an agreement that betters these numbers, then the choice is yours.

Since she has taken the the stand that she is going to "take you for every penny she can", DO NOT agree to pay her a dime in alimony. Let the court suck that number out of its thumb.

Thanks for your quick response! But LIFE seems like a very long time.

Based on your math I come up with 15,000. I cant believe that is what a judge would make me pay for life or the foreseeable future. I know at 17% i will have to pay her $800 a month for CS based on income. If i were to add another $1000 a month I wouldnt be able to live in rat hole...

[IrishLady47]

How much would she make if she worked full-time? With only one 14 yo child, there is absolutely no reason why she can't work full-time.

Quite frankly, based on her statement, it sounds like a fair, amicable settlement based on agreement between the both of you is not going to happen.

You should see an attorney about how to best plan for this even before you file for divorce.

[tg7124]

I will be meeting with an attorney this week. Just wanted some advice before going in.

Not sure if her job offers a position of full time, but she is definately able to work full time if not there somewhere else.

The Maintenance/Alimony is scaring the blank out of me.

If i have to pay what you say im gonna pay, I'll stay married....

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tg7124

[b][b][b]

Thanks for your quick response! But LIFE seems like a very long time.

Based on your math I come up with 15,000. I cant believe that is what a judge would make me pay for life or the foreseeable future. I know at 17% i will have to pay her $800 a month for CS based on income. If i were to add another $1000 a month I wouldnt be able to live in rat hole...

You can explain that to the judge, who by the way doesn't give a rats ass about you.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tg7124

I will be meeting with an attorney this week. Just wanted some advice before going in.

Not sure if her job offers a position of full time, but she is definately able to work full time if not there somewhere else.

The Maintenance/Alimony is scaring the blank out of me.

If i have to pay what you say im gonna pay, I'll stay married....

Being "scared" won't last for long.

[tg7124]

So.... live comfortable and miserable is the answer.
Not the answer I thought i'd get.
Thanks for your help.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by tg7124

So.... live comfortable and miserable is the answer.
Not the answer I thought i'd get.
Thanks for your help.

You want answers? You'll get them in court.

You are welcome.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by tg7124

[b][b][b]

Thanks for your quick response! But LIFE seems like a very long time.

Based on your math I come up with 15,000. I cant believe that is what a judge would make me pay for life or the foreseeable future. I know at 17% i will have to pay her $800 a month for CS based on income. If i were to add another $1000 a month I wouldnt be able to live in rat hole...

Its not likely that she would get that much alimony if she will also be receiving child support. Its more likely that a judge would take the child support into consideration as well when deciding and amount for alimony.

Also, keep in mind that alimony is tax deductible (above the line) to you, and taxable income to her, therefore the cost of your alimony will be mitigated by your marginal tax rate.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Its not likely that she would get that much alimony if she will also be receiving child support. Its more likely that a judge would take the child support into consideration as well when deciding and amount for alimony.

Also, keep in mind that alimony is tax deductible (above the line) to you, and taxable income to her, therefore the cost of your alimony will be mitigated by your marginal tax rate.

So if OP is paying $10k annually (for instance) it is really only costing him about $7.5k?

See OP, now you're $2,500 to the good. That should ease your mind.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

So if OP is paying $10k annually (for instance) it is really only costing him about $7.5k?

See OP, now you're $2,500 to the good. That should ease your mind.

If his marginal tax rate is 25%, yes.

If someone is trying to rough out a budget, 2.5k could be significant.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

If his marginal tax rate is 25%, yes.

If someone is trying to rough out a budget, 2.5k could be significant.

Yes I agree and I'm sure if OP goes through with this divorce, he will have to be very creative roughing out his budget.

[nextwife]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Its not likely that she would get that much alimony if she will also be receiving child support. Its more likely that a judge would take the child support into consideration as well when deciding and amount for alimony.

Also, keep in mind that alimony is tax deductible (above the line) to you, and taxable income to her, therefore the cost of your alimony will be mitigated by your marginal tax rate.

I don't really think we should be presuming the tax deductablilty that exists at the moment will necessarily exist through the duration of any alimony obligation. Because with this danged war to pay for over the next generations, there are no guaranty's that tax laws will not be modified to pay for the war.

I really don't think we should try to pacify potential SS payors by trying to tell them they REALLY aren't paying so much. They ARE paying ex dollars, real dollars from what THEY earn, and those dollars need to be covered every month, whether they continue to have an income or not. It's like telling someone they aren't REALLY paying this much on their mortgage because part of it is deductable. Yet, they still need to come up with X in hard dollars every month to cover that mortgage payment.

[IrishLady47]

Right now there is only such a disparity in their respective incomes because she is working PART-TIME. If she were to make the same or close to same as he does once employed full-time, why should any spousal support be ordered at all?