what do I owe my (ex) wife?

[haha123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma

My wife and I are getting a divorce (incompatibility issues). Ideally, we want to avoid paying a lawyer and just come to an agreement. Just want to be fair. So I want to do some research in case there are disagreements.

facts:
-I am 26, U.S Citizen. She is 26, U.S resident, Korean Citizen.

-she came in April 2005 from korea to get married with me. She came in April. At that time, i was a senior in college. working part time, school full time. She was not working. We both lived at my parents home.

-May/June 2005, we moved to our own apartment. I was finishing up my school, and working part time. I graduated in August 2005. She got a part time thing at a chinese restaurant. I paid the bills (rent, utilities, etc etc).

-October 2005, I got a fulltime job. She quits her parttime job.

-June 2006, we buy a house. Under my name only. I pay the mortgage and all bills.

-Fall of 2006, she goes back to get her masters degree. She goes to school full time, and works part time at the university as a teaching assistant.

-She graduates grad school in May 2008. All this time, I we have been living together, no issues. I have been paying mortgage and bills.

-Summer 2008, she gets a job at my company. Now, we are both working full time. I still pay all the bills and mortgage.

-few months ago, I refinanced on my house for a lower mortgage rate. Both of our names on on the mortgage now.


Now, divorce is here. She is voluntairly quitting her job to pursue a ph.D in another state. so her income will pretty much drop. I make 50k.

I dont know the laws in this type of situation, but all I want to do is what is fair. If I owe her money, fine. If I dont owe her money, then I need to know. All I want is to follow the law.


I still dont really understand the concept of alimony and spousal support, but just from my perspective, I feel that I do not owe much. I feel that I did support her through her masters degree. She did not contribute in the mortgage payments or the bills. Would I still owe her money? She is voluntairly lowing her source of income, not me. Do I Need to address this issue?

As for the house. Even though her name is on the mortgage now, does she get a right to part of the equity? on paper, she owns it, but she has never paid the mortgage. Is she entitled a right even if her name is on it? what if I rent the house out. Does she get a share of any profits?

Again, I"m not being upset. I just want to know. If I owe it, then I guess I"ll front the money.

[Dogmatique]

You had a short marriage, so it's unlikely that you'd be ordered to pay alimony for long, if at all.

However, her immigrant status is important. You will have signed the I-864 Affidavit of Support to sponsor her green card; this means that she has standing to sue you (or whoever her sponsor/s were/are) in federal court for support to the amount of 125% of the federal poverty level, or the difference between that amount and her salary.

Your worst case scenario would be if:

She stops working AND knows what she might be entitled to AND sues you.

Your obligation doesn't end until she does one of four things:

Leaves the US permanently;
Naturalizes;
Earns enough "qualifying" SS quarters (roughly 10 years working)
Dies.

You should speak with an immigration attorney STAT

[haha123]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

You had a short marriage, so it's unlikely that you'd be ordered to pay alimony for long, if at all.

However, her immigrant status is important. You will have signed the I-864 Affidavit of Support to sponsor her green card; this means that she has standing to sue you (or whoever her sponsor/s were/are) in federal court for support to the amount of 125% of the federal poverty level, or the difference between that amount and her salary.

Your worst case scenario would be if:

She stops working AND knows what she might be entitled to AND sues you.

Your obligation doesn't end until she does one of four things:

Leaves the US permanently;
Naturalizes;
Earns enough "qualifying" SS quarters (roughly 10 years working)
Dies.

You should speak with an immigration attorney STAT

okay, so I do owe her money in this situation. As far as I know, she does not know about the avidavit.


A question. She is offering me this: pay her schooling by getting a loan in my name, and also pay her 15k to 20k (I'm not quite sure if she is asking for both, or one or the other). Is she asking for too much, or should I jump at that "deal?" It's one of those situations where if I disagree, she might get a lawyer, and the lawyer might tell her about this immigration thing.

[Dogmatique]

Technically, you don't owe her support unless she actually files suit and wins...

The courts have consistently ruled in favor of the immigrant in these cases, and though it's becoming more and more common it's still not an everyday occurrence that the sponsored immigrant does actually sue.

You can make an agreement, absolutely - but I know of at least one instance where a similar agreement simply didn't hold up in court, because federal law trumps state family law.

The I-864 is a contract between you and the US government; she's doesn't really have standing to make a settlement on what is effectively their behalf.

I do have one idea though...

Offer to pay for her naturalization process; she'll benefit, and you'll be off the hook when she becomes a citizen.

[sferrill2]

i just went through a divorce in ok and the court awarded half my wages in allimony because during the marriage my ex did not work.. she was awarded because according to the court i owe her the same number of years we were married under the same circumstances..

good luck, dont be like me, i went into court thinking it was going to be simple and my ex took me to the cleaners... i had no idea allimony was even a subject being addressed..

we were married 4 yrs, she was awarded 45,000 for 4 yrs and i only make 35,000 a yr

[Dogmatique]

Originally Posted by sferrill2

i just went through a divorce in ok and the court awarded half my wages in allimony because during the marriage my ex did not work.. she was awarded because according to the court i owe her the same number of years we were married under the same circumstances..

good luck, dont be like me, i went into court thinking it was going to be simple and my ex took me to the cleaners... i had no idea allimony was even a subject being addressed..

we were married 4 yrs, she was awarded 45,000 for 4 yrs and i only make 35,000 a yr

OP is potentially in far greater jeopardy; it's possible that he could be on the hook for around $1000/month until his wife fulfills one of the four conditions I mentioned. In other words - permanently.

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The thing is that she is employable. She has/had a job that she is CHOOSING to quit to get a ph.d. That issue needs to be brought up.

[haha123]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Technically, you don't owe her support unless she actually files suit and wins...

The courts have consistently ruled in favor of the immigrant in these cases, and though it's becoming more and more common it's still not an everyday occurrence that the sponsored immigrant does actually sue.

You can make an agreement, absolutely - but I know of at least one instance where a similar agreement simply didn't hold up in court, because federal law trumps state family law.

The I-864 is a contract between you and the US government; she's doesn't really have standing to make a settlement on what is effectively their behalf.

I do have one idea though...

Offer to pay for her naturalization process; she'll benefit, and you'll be off the hook when she becomes a citizen.

Dogmatique: when you say 'naturalized,' do you mean as a citizen, or a legal resident? I already paid for her greencard and she is a current U.S legal resident. Not sure if that makes any difference.

[Dogmatique]

Originally Posted by haha123

Dogmatique: when you say 'naturalized,' do you mean as a citizen, or a legal resident? I already paid for her greencard and she is a current U.S legal resident. Not sure if that makes any difference.

"Naturalized" means basically "becoming a citizen". A legal permanent resident is the step before that.

Tinkerbelle, unfortunately the courts have been pretty consistent in ruling that the sponsored immigrant isn't obligated to mitigate by obtaining (or even seeking) employment.

(Personally, I think that's messed up. But it is what it is)

[haha123]

guys, thanks for the advice. so right now, what are my choices?

assuming that I am obligated to pay her because of the immigration law, do I have any choices?

scenario 1: she finds out about this, sues me, I lose, I pay.
scenario 2: I take her 'deal,' but it gets thrown out, and I still lose.

[Dogmatique]

Unfortunately that's pretty much it, yes.

I swear that dratted I-864 should come with a warning....

[haha123]

one more thing (sorry for so many questions).

a paralegal drafted the divorce papers. it doesn't demand me to pay this and pay that. it pretty much just has generic wording saying that we will handle on our own. does this make any difference?

i.e," The parties have entered into an agreement which fully settles, compromises, and resolves all issues between them herein..."

basically, after she signs the papers, can she still sue or claim?

[Dogmatique]

With regards to enforcing the I-864, yes, she can try even if you've already had a judge sign off on an agreement.

In all honesty it's probably in your best interest for those papers to be quite specific in what you are obliged to do financially; but again, in your situation the Affidavit of Support complicates matters.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

Unfortunately that's pretty much it, yes.

I swear that dratted I-864 should come with a warning....

I agree, and furthermore every US citizen BRIDE should also have a warning affixed to it, just like a pack of cigarettes!!

[LdiJ]

I am going to address the issue of the house, since that has not yet been addressed.

She is 1/2 owner of the house. She is entitled to 1/2 of the equity in the house, period. It is irrelevant that she isn't the one who made the mortgage payments.

So you have two issues...the I-864 issue and the house.

You will have to refinance the house to remove her name from the mortgage and for enough to buy out her share of the equity...or you will need to sell and share the proceeds.