Wife threw me out while I was in the hospital

[crash7997]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

I apologize this is quite a long story, but I feel many of the details to be critical. I have suffered from Crohn's disease, a often very disabling illness, for about 9 years now and have been diagnosed for about 6 of those years. I met my wife and we married two years ago in July. I was not able to work when we met and I had been fighting with SSI for over a year then. I have had surgery and multiple hospitalizations all with little success over the last 6 years. My wife was warned by everybody from her parents to mine as well as myself that this is a bad case of the disease and it can pretty much shut me down when ever it feels like it. She plowed ahead and told everyone she could handle it.

A few good months go by and I feel okay. I begin to think of a way to earn a little extra money while I am healthy. Her boss offers me a job and I accept on the condition that it be only 2 or 3 days a week at the most and no stress, as stress can cause a flare of my disease. Things went well for a while and then the boss wanted more and more of me. He gave the impression that I wouldn't be taxed on the income and that was fine with me because i figured it to be very short term. That is another story in and of itself. I began to work 5 days a week and during one project was pretty much forced to work 7 days a week and ridiculous hours.

This eventually took a toll on my health and I began to backslide the latter half of last year. I began a slow downward spiral that got worse and worse as the days went by. By January of this year I was getting too sick to work. I was being punished by my employer for missing the time even though they knew what was wrong. By March I had lost so much weight that my pants were falling off of me. I could barely eat. My wife became more and more stressed the less and less I could work. I fell into a depression and, because of the Crohn's could only manage to feed myself once a day at the most. My wife was irate about the fact that I didn't get off the couch. She also was upset that I could not get chores done.

By the beginning of April I had lost about 40lbs and I am only 5'5" and 160 normally. My wife left me with no car or phone during the day because we only use a cell phone for our home phone and she doesn't like to travel without it (I don't want her to travel without it either really). She promised to help me get a shrink and to call my GI doctor to find out what to do. She found a shrink alright...for herself. She never bothered with me and I feel she was short with my GI docs staff because they wouldn't help her and they have never been like that ever.

When she wanted to go out and I couldn't it bothered her greatly. I told her to go out with her friends so that she could destress and get away from the problems for a while. She then began doing it more and more until she was barely home. I, all this time, am still wasting away. She only offered to make me something to eat a small handful of times and most of those times she knew I would say no.

Finally, I got so bad that I had to be checked into the hospital and fed through an IV and eat by mouth just to get my weight and nourishment back up. She does not visit nor call while I am in the hospital for two weeks. I call her a day or so after I get in as the drugs only made calling easy at certain times and she tells me that I should go home to my parents after I leave the hospital. This was not for my health but her happiness and to ease her stress.

During my stay in the hospital she replaced the door (and the lock, the door was broken) and refused to give me a key. Unfortunately the house was in her name only eventhough we were married when we bought it. She also has joined a softball team and made many new friends and she is sooooooo busy hanging out with them and she dumped my taxes on my lap 2 days after I get out of the hospital and 4 days before they were due and said you have to file seperate. Well I did and It cost me a fortune I don't have. I have to negotiate non collectible status with the IRS. She has only brought me a small amount of clothing (she did it like a theif in the night and dumped them on the porch at 3:30 am.) She will not let me back in until she can be there or someone she trusts can be (I have never given her a reason not to trust me and we had no private areas the other had to respect before).

She will not define anything as a separtation or a divorce pending, she keeps calling it time and space. I have tried to reconcile and tried to do the best I could to be understanding but she has also cleaned out our joint checking account and for all intents and purposes cut me completely off financially. My parents do not have the means to support me completely. I won't starve nor end up on the streets, but I have no money for medications doctors visits, tests or any of the other incidentals of life.

She has cut me off from all of the marital property as I am sure she will not let me walk out with anything WE own. It will only be what I own and even that could be negotiable in her mind. I need some sort of support here. She KNEW that I was not able to support my self entering the marriage and that I would most likely not be able to work all the time if ever. This really seems to be about money and the burden of a sick husband. In the intrest of salvaging some brevity I have left out the details about her shopping trips and then complaining about how we have no money because I am not working. She has been a real piece of work this last 5 months. I really need to know what to do just so I can have what is mine and what I need for some form of existance.

Thanks

Originally Posted by crash7997

What is the name of your state? Maryland

I apologize this is quite a long story, but I feel many of the details to be critical. I have suffered from Crohn's disease, a often very disabling illness, for about 9 years now and have been diagnosed for about 6 of those years. I met my wife and we married two years ago in July. I was not able to work when we met and I have been fighting with SSI for 3 years now. I have had surgery and multiple hospitalizations all with little success over the last 6 years. My wife was warned by everybody from her parents to mine as well as myself that this is a bad case of the disease and it can pretty much shut me down when ever it feels like it. She plowed ahead and told everyone she could handle it. Well a few good months go by and I feel okay. I begin to think of a way to earn a little extra money while I am healthy. Her boss offers me a job and I accept on the condition that it be only 2 or 3 days a week at the most and no stress, as stress can cause a flare of my disease. Things went well for a while and then the boss wanted more and more of me. He gave the impression that I wouldn't be taxed on the income and that was fine with me because i figured it to be very short term. That is another story in and of itself. I began to work 5 days a week and during one project was pretty much forced to work 7 days a week and ridiculous hours. This eventually took a toll on my health and I began to backslide the latter half of last year. I began a slow downward spiral that got worse and worse as the days went by. By January of this year I was getting too sick to work. I was being punished by my employer for missing the time even though they knew what was wrong. By march I had lost so much weight that my pants were falling off of me. I could barely eat. My wife became more and more stressed the less and less I could work. I of course fell into a depression and could only manage to feed myself once a day at the most. My wife was irate about the fact that I didn't get off the couch. She also was upset that I could not get chores done. By the beginning of April I had lost about 40lbs and I am only 5'5" and 160 normally. My wife left me with no car or phone during the day because we only use a cell phone for our home phone and she doesn't like to travel without it (I don't want her to travel without it either really). She promised to help me get a shrink and to call my GI doctor to find out what to do. She found a shrink alright...for herself. She never bothered with me and I feel she was short with my GI docs staff because they wouldn't help her and they have never been like that ever. I told her to go out when friends called so that she could destress and get away from the problems for a while. She then began doing it more and more until she was barely home. I, all this time, am still wasting away. She only offered to make me something to eat a small handful of times and most of those times she knew I would say no. Finally, I got so bad that I had to be checked into the hospital and fed through an IV and eat by mouth just to get my weight and nourishment back up. She does not visit nor call while I am in the hospital for two weeks. I call her a day or so after I get in as the drugs only made calling easy at certain times and she tells me that I should go home to my parents after I leave the hospital. This was not for my health but hers. During my stay in the hospital she replaced the door (and the lock, the door was broken) and refused to give me a key. Unfortunately the house was in her name only eventhough we were married when we bought it. She also has joined a softball team and made many new friends and she is sooooooo busy hanging out with them. She has only brought me a small amount of clothing (she did it like a theif in the night and dumped them on the porch at 3:30 am.) She will not let me back in until she can be there or someone she trusts can be. She will not define anything as a separtation or a divorce pending, she keeps calling it time and space. I have tried to reconcile and tried to do the best I could to be understanding but she then dumped my taxes on my lap 4 days before they were due and said you have to file seperate. Well I did and It cost me a fortune I don't have. I have to negotiate non collectible status with the IRS. She has also cleaned out our joint checking account and for all intents and purposes cut me completely off financially. My parents do not have the means to support me completely. I won't starve nor end up on the streets, but I have no money for medications doctors visits, tests or any of the other incidentals of life. She has cut me off from all of the marital property as I am sure she will not let me walk out with anything we own. It will only be what I own and that could be negotiable. I need some sort of support here. She KNEW that I was not able to support my self entering the marriage and that I would most likely not be able to work all the time. This really seems to be about money. In the intrest of salvaging some brevity I have left out the details about her shopping trips and then complaining about how we have no money because I am not working. She has been a real piece of work this last 5 months. I really need to know what to do just so I can have what is mine and what I need for some form of existance.

Thanks

Can't even read it!

Try cutting it down and use paragraphs. Not one wants to sort through this mess.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by shellandty

Can't even read it!

Try cutting it down and use paragraphs. Not one wants to sort through this mess.

Well I read it all.

Sounds like the wife was banking on him dying in the first few months of marriage. When he didn't, she tried to get her boss to work him to death.

Now she's trying to kill him mentally. After all, playing softball while your spouse is in need of medication!!

OP, does she have a big life insurance policy on you?? You may not even know about it.

Don't worry, after you're gone this whole mess will get straightened out.

[crash7997]

Sorry I was kind of just writing at a moment I shouldn't have been. I was really angry.

I don't think she counted on me dying or anything. My case is bad but not really life threatening. She and I are too young to think about things like that. If she has a policy on me she was sneaky about it because I knew everything about our accounts and what went in and out. If she was paying for it she was doing it through some other means.

[ceara19]

Originally Posted by crash7997

Sorry I was kind of just writing at a moment I shouldn't have been. I was really angry.

I don't think she counted on me dying or anything. My case is bad but not really life threatening. She and I are too young to think about things like that. If she has a policy on me she was sneaky about it because I knew everything about our accounts and what went in and out. If she was paying for it she was doing it through some other means.

Her boyfriend is probably paying for it!

Just joking. Really you should edit your post down some and break it into paragraphs, I didn't get past the 3rd line.

[crash7997]

I am trying it keeps logging me out when I try to save it

[LdiJ]

How were you supporting yourself before you met and married your wife?

[stealth2]

Good question, LDi. OP should also realize that he will likely not be eligible for spousal support as his disability was prior to the marriage.

[rmet4nzkx]

Would buying the house in her name have anything to do with the fact that you were on or trying to get SSI? Have you ever worked in your adult life? Why don't you have a land line or 2 cel phone's, most have family plans. It sounds like you were working under the table or working the system. UC doesn't have to be as debilitating as you are making it, it sounds like you are very controlling and using UC to control everyone in your life.