Wife worked very little - what to expect

[pithhelmet]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Hi everyone -

My wife has worked very little in our 10 year marriage (and 3 years living together)
she is capable of working, but basically refused to work
citing excuses left and right - but basically not willing
to work.

With me being the primary breadwinner for the duration
of the marriage - the one child is 19 years old (i'm not biological father) has moved out, and moved back home....

I purchased a condo just over a year ago - mortgage was placed in both our names...


soooo - question is....

what kind of alamony payments should i expect?

thanks

[Jeter]

Which kind would make you happy?

[Son of Slam]

Originally posted by pithhelmet
My wife has worked very little in our 10 year marriage...
what kind of alamony payments should i expect?

None. If she didn't support you in marriage, she wont start now.

These 2 are funny! In all seriousness, you should definitely prepare yourself for alimony. All she has to do is ask for it, and she will get it. It's based on your income. For example.. A man who brings in $1800 can look forward to paying at least $500 a month in alimony, and that's after a child support order. You didn't mention any minor children that you would be responsible for, so you'll probably be paying far more.

As a woman taking the side of the man in a divorce situation, I can't help but wonder why we women are such vendictive bitches... Thank God I'm not like that! Good luck, hon. You're going to need it.

Alimony (which is called Spousal Support) is not automatic. Unless your ex can prove that she can't work, then any spousal support can and probably will be limited to a timeframe measured by the amount of time it takes for her to either find a job or become employable.

The best strategy at this point is to talk over a stipulated agreed time and amount for spousal support with your attorney and present it to her before going to court.

You don't know what to expect inside the hallowed halls. But you do when you put it on paper.

[pithhelmet]

Here is the update -

She filed a restraining order against me -

I had moved out of the state to get away from her
(5 states away for that matter) staying with my mother
working remotely

wife called me to tell me that she decided to drop the
restraining order two days before thanksgiving (tuesday night)

wednesday afternoon (late), a police officer handed me the forms
and explained to me about them - i tried to call the circuit court
in florida on wednesday afternoon - but the system was down -
so i couldn't find out anything about it... the court date was
set for tuesday (after thanksgiving) at 12:30 pm -

i called the court on monday a.m. and found out that she didn't
drop the restraining order afterall, and i am supposed to be there in the morning - so i drove 27 hours straight to get there by the
court time the next day (ugh)

got into court, i was the only respondant to show up, so we were the first case up -

the judge read her statements (small book) and noted three items -

1) held gun to her head
2) pulling her hair
3) hitting her in the neck

he (the judge) asked me about each item - i responded truthfully -

1) Never had a gun in the house (wife had shot her daughters father with shotgun - absolutelty no chance of a gun in our house)
2) Only pulled her hair during sex (her request)
3) Hit her in the neck once - by accident (we were wrestling)

Judge looked down at me - asked her if i had been providing support to her while i was out of the house - wife said yes -
$400.00 a week

judge said - "well he can continue" and slapped me with a $1200.00 dollar a month temp support

I was BLOWN away -

i tried to explain that she had already cleaned out the checking account ~$1500.00
savings account ~$4000.00
ran up her lawyer fees on my credit card ($5250.00)
and pulled $3000.00 cash advance from my credit card as well -

I asked for a reduction - cause i am only making $500.00 a week salary - he said no, and said since i'm living with my mother, then i can afford it -

i tried to explain that its 90 miles to the next larger town (omaha) and kansas city is 140 miles - he didn't want to hear it...

so i was escorted out of the court - handed the copy of the judgement and away i go...

so now i have ALL the credit card payments coming to me -
i've contested the $8250.00 that she popped on my card
btw - the $3000.00 cash advance is running 27% interest

she is living in the condo I purchased - and is claiming all kinds of mental and physical abuse....

one other kicker - her lawyer is dragging her feet to file the divorce papers - dragging it out even more



whew

[nailtech]

(quote)so now i have ALL the credit card payments coming to me -
i've contested the $8250.00 that she popped on my card
btw - the $3000.00 cash advance is running 27% interest(quote)

did your temp papers say something like No unnecessary charges/bills will be accumalated by either party ??

If so, thats contempt....

was she able to charge on your credit cards?
If not you can call your credit card company and dispute the charges...


my husband while going through his divorce had temp papers saying neither was not to charge on anything... and he was not to freeze any credit cards..... while she was charging up cc debt to buy her boyfriends clothes and such (about 65K). he got stuck with all the cc bills.... it threw him into Bankruptcy after the final divorce papers... she now has the creditors hounding her for payments since she was the co-debtor... but texas is a community property state, not sure about florida... or the state you are now domicile in...

sorry to say, men often get the shaft... it's not fair but thats usually the way it is... JMO...

oh and i'm thinking her lawyer might be holding out in filing the final papers if she still owe her/him money... did you ask your lawyer if he/she can file the final papers/decree??

you're lucky you didnt get years of alimony support... be grateful it's only temp payments... catch your breath it will be over soon... good luck...

[pithhelmet]

I tried to have my $1200.00 a month temp spousal support reduced yesterday -

we were supposed to go before the general master - but her lawyer filed a last minute objection, and it was placed before a judge.

Her lawyer also filed a last minute counter claim (the same morning) to increase my payments to her by another $600.00

Judge ruled that she was able bodied to work, and setup a 9.00 per hour 20 hours per week potential pay.

The judge did not allow her $600.00 a month additional claim - but also refused to lower the amount that i am to pay her each month. She was also ordered to pay the mortgage.


So needless to say - i'm eating pb&j and paying $1200.00 a month for a house sitter.

gotta love this court system.

[djohnson]

Are you being represented by an attorney or doing it yourself? It sounds like she has someone working for herside and you don't. If not you should try and get one and I think this would all change. That is too large a percentage of your salary to be awarded, I'm not sure how that got through.

[pithhelmet]

Yes - I do have an attorney at the trial -

she tried MANY things, but the judge didn't want to hear about any of it -

sorry to have left that information out.

thanks

[pithhelmet]

Well - its been pretty crazy...

After a couple of months of paper swapping, she blew through all the
cash advance, and i stopped paying the $1200.00 a month alimony
in march...

she tried one last time to get the court to recognize that she couldn't
work - but that failed - (i had since emptied out my lawyers fund
so i had to fire her as well) so i replied to the court myself... i
don't know if that what caused it or not - and i don't know what
the status of it is now -

BUT

she commited suicide on april 22 -

long story - short ending.

[nextwife]

OMG!!!!! I'm blown away.

And FYI, it never ceases to amaze me that a judge will decide that a person living with MOM or Dad does not have the same obligation to them to pay room and board that they would to a roomate! Why are parents of adults expected to give their kids a free ride so that more spousal support is supposedly available? That "more money is "available" because you live with parents" logic is so twisted. It's not his parents responsibilty to subsidize greater spousal support payments.

[VeronicaGia]

Wow! Sounds like she was messed up. Were your alimony payments being garnished? You may need to get an original copy of her death certificate and get the case closed.