Is it worth it????

[rickyd]

What is the name of your state? NJ

In Oct 2005 I was divorced. Prior to that we were seperated from Jan. 04. Starting May 2005 I was required, per our seperation agreement to start paying her $330.00 a month until the divorce was final. I am military and that was the difference between my housing allowance from the married rate to the single rate. I paid it!

When the divorce went final in Oct 05 I was required to pay $400.00 a month alimony until the time I retire from the military. On top of that she gets 25% of my retirement, I have to keep $40,000.00 life insurance on myself until I am the age of 63 for her just in case I die. Additionally I took all the credit card debt that we had.

Now my question is this. I was stupid enough to sign all the paperwork stating that I would pay all this. I have since remarried, have a baby girl on the way, my ex-wife makes roughly the same amount of money as me, she actually make about $2,000.00 more a year than me and I am struggling to survive with my new wife and baby coming.

Does it sound as though I have a chance to get the $400.00 a month alimony dropped by taking her back to court? I don't mind her getting my retirement because we were married for 12 years and she is entitled to that but I do have a problem with giving her $400.00 a month when she got out of the marriage scott free and has a new house, a job making more money than me, and the whole time I get to worry about where my families next meal is coming from.

Before anyone even says it "Yes I was so stupid to sign the paperwork". I just wanted out of an unhappy relationship that almost took my life from depression.

[BelizeBreeze]

You have absolutely no chance. What YOU do in life has no effect on what your ex-wife is entitled to due to your acquiesence.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by BelizeBreeze

You have absolutely no chance. What YOU do in life has no effect on what your ex-wife is entitled to due to your acquiesence.

Very well put.

And for all you husbands out there who would sign away your life just to get out of a marriage, DON'T.

You're playing right into your stbx's and the courts hand.

Fight, fight and fight until the end and DON'T agree to anything. Make the court order it all. It's what little chance you have.

[Ithildriel]

"When the divorce went final in Oct 05 I was required to pay $400.00 a month alimony until the time I retire from the military."

Sounds like it is time to retire from the military.

Divorce final 7 months ago, and already knocked up a new gal? Your a fast worker for someone who was so devestated by the demise of their marriage that it almost cost you your life.

[Bali Hai]

Originally Posted by Ithildriel

"When the divorce went final in Oct 05 I was required to pay $400.00 a month alimony until the time I retire from the military."

Sounds like it is time to retire from the military.

Maybe he doesn't want to do that.

Divorce final 7 months ago, and already knocked up a new gal? Your a fast worker for someone who was so devestated by the demise of their marriage that it almost cost you your life.

You're the typical that believes a man is beholding to a woman just because she trapped him into marriage.

Money is nothing to you as long as you don't have to work for it.

[Ithildriel]

Originally Posted by Bali Hai

You're the typical that believes a man is beholding to a woman just because she trapped him into marriage.

Money is nothing to you as long as you don't have to work for it.

Oh Bali, we have been down this road before, the person you are describing is not me, as badly as you want it to be.

You and Beelize are the ones that told him he is stuck paying the alimony, not me. It shocked me, frankly, but I have no legal expertise, so I have to assume the two of you are saying what is true. All I was doing is offering a possible suggestion that, depending on the wording of what he agreed to, could get him out of it. If he only has to pay her until he retires from the military, and age is not stipulated, then changing careers is an option.

I work my ass off. I have worked two jobs most of my marriage and the 8 years prior while my husband was in school or working one. You have no right to lump me with all the money grubbing women who have wronged you in the past.

And yeah, the last part of my post was a bit sarcastic, but so what? 7 months after a divorce is quick in my opinion to be remarried and starting a new family...of course I waited until my husband and I were together 8 years before we tied the knot, as I didn't want to rush in to anything.

[mwdw]

Your case is fairly fresh and I don't know if you can get this changed so quickly. But I can't believe that you can't in the future get this changed if she is making more money than you. You new wives income doesn't come into play for alimony.

I would look into this through legal aid in your state. This is just too much.

I don't care if you have five women knocked up -- you don't have to pay someone just to get out of a marriage. PRENUPS -- I tell you get a good strong lawyer proof prenup!!!!

Look into it and try and see what your state offers for relief.

Or you can talk about retiring early....you may be able to take early retirement or have them buy you out.

[LdiJ]

I agree that the order is certainly too fresh to get any changes made now. Whether or not a change could be made later on down the road is debatable.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by mwdw

Your case is fairly fresh and I don't know if you can get this changed so quickly. But I can't believe that you can't in the future get this changed if she is making more money than you. You new wives income doesn't come into play for alimony.

I would look into this through legal aid in your state. This is just too much.

I don't care if you have five women knocked up -- you don't have to pay someone just to get out of a marriage. PRENUPS -- I tell you get a good strong lawyer proof prenup!!!!

Look into it and try and see what your state offers for relief.

Or you can talk about retiring early....you may be able to take early retirement or have them buy you out.

You have NO legal knowledge at all do you?
He can't get it changed now and if he agreed to it, unless it states it is modifiable then he can't get it modified because he has a baby girl with a new woman. No one else's income comes into play for alimony but you seem to be confusing it with child support as the OP never asked about it.
Legal Aid is not going to help. He agreed to it.
And prenups are not lawyer proof -- lawyers write them. And the longer you are married, the less weight a prenup carries.

[mwdw]

I have enough legal knowledge to know that yes you can get the alimony changed as we just did it. The court approved it and it went to a big fat 0 we owe her. So yes it can be changed even if the decree doesn't state it could be modified.

No I wasn't talking about Child Support.

Yes prenups can work -- hello Donald Trump for instance. Yes she got money but you know what he got lots more and it pretty much stuck to the prenup.

[Shay-Pari'e]

Originally Posted by mwdw

I have enough legal knowledge to know that yes you can get the alimony changed as we just did it. The court approved it and it went to a big fat 0 we owe her. So yes it can be changed even if the decree doesn't state it could be modified.

No I wasn't talking about Child Support.

Yes prenups can work -- hello Donald Trump for instance. Yes she got money but you know what he got lots more and it pretty much stuck to the prenup.

Filed and got a hearing within a matter of day's? Over a Holiday even! [url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=322107[/url]

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by mwdw

I have enough legal knowledge to know that yes you can get the alimony changed as we just did it. The court approved it and it went to a big fat 0 we owe her. So yes it can be changed even if the decree doesn't state it could be modified.

No I wasn't talking about Child Support.

Yes prenups can work -- hello Donald Trump for instance. Yes she got money but you know what he got lots more and it pretty much stuck to the prenup.

You are an idiot. Prenups don't always work. It depends on LENGTH OF MARRIAGE, How much the assets have changed during the duration of the marriage and duration of the prenup and many other factors.What do you know about Donald Trump's prenup and the outcome of his divorces? Are you sure they held completely? They may have agreed to abide by them -- there may not have been any significant changes in income and the assets may have remained relatively stable. Good grief. You have no clue. And the fact that you now pay NO alimony when you were just griping aobut it means you are a liar.

[mwdw]

Ohiogal--

I am not an idiot and you are very mean to say things like that. That I guess shows your personality.
By the way -- didn't say prenups hold COMPLETELY -- but they do help.

Also not a liar -- apparently you need to read my husband's comment below.

Get back to answering this poor guys question and leave me alone. You guys are so cruel and so mean. I haven't done anything to any of you except answer posts that I thought would help or at least give insight as to what has happened with ours in the past couple of days.

And apparently you guys need to check into statute and laws in each state before you answer questions. It is not a blanket law over all states.

Hope you can answer other peoples questions cause our answer from you guys was wrong and then hurtful. I won't be looking into this site anymore as it is just a site full of mean, cruel, wrong, and hateful people.

Note my husband's comments on his original Post -- from [url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=322107[/url]


Shay-Pari'e said --- "Ya, she is the new wife. Today she told someone *They* don't have to pay the X anymore, yet yesterday the X was still bleeding *Them* dry."

And the rest that have said those things below....

I guess you guys don't believe in having a joint account -- note the Log in name ummm -- maybe too sets of initials???

First -- she did not say still bleeding us dry -- said still TRYING to bleed us dry.

Anyway I am the husband and I don't appreciate any of your chatter. I asked a question which has not been completely answered. I did go to court in the past couple of days and had a mediation that was set up before I asked my question--- thought maybe someone had an idea. Mediation (court in my wife's) eyes settled the matter for now. We are done (I hope) and even though it is none of your business my ex has been paid for 6 years (under temporary and final orders) We (both my wife and I) do not feel we should have to pay her anymore. She has a new husband that can provide for her as well as her getting off her lazy butt and making her owe money.

Bitter -- no she is not bitter, just tired of paying the woman that has continuely lied and committed fraud on me and taken pretty much everything. We would continue to pay the final FEW MONTHS but come on she is remarried and she won't let me off the hook EVER. What my wife is upset about as I am and every guy or woman that has paid and done everything the courts have wanted is to continually get stuck paying for something and have no recourse. Like the fraud that she committed. It cost us thousands that we can't seem to get back from her without spending thousands more.

Also when you are in these situations you feel sorry for people that you see headed down the same road that you are finally seeing the end of. It is a sad and upsetting experience and now to have all of you be so mean and cruel that just tops it. It is sad and it can make you bitter in realizing that people you are asking help from can turn on you so quickly when you innocently log in to a site that both husband and wife have a joint "account" too and you honestly answer how you feel and what you JUST went through with the courts. Do I have to send you copies of what we signed in the mediation just to make you stop being so cruel??? Not going to happen so please just stop.

So please get back to my original question if you want to continue to comment!

Thanks

[Shay-Pari'e]

[quote=mwdw]Ohiogal--

I am not an idiot and you are very mean to say things like that. That I guess shows your personality.
By the way -- didn't say prenups hold COMPLETELY -- but they do help.

Also not a liar -- apparently you need to read my husband's comment below.

Get back to answering this poor guys question and leave me alone. You guys are so cruel and so mean. I haven't done anything to any of you except answer posts that I thought would help or at least give insight as to what has happened with ours in the past couple of days.

And apparently you guys need to check into statute and laws in each state before you answer questions. It is not a blanket law over all states.

Hope you can answer other peoples questions cause our answer from you guys was wrong and then hurtful. I won't be looking into this site anymore as it is just a site full of mean, cruel, wrong, and hateful people.

Note my husband's comments on his original Post -- from [url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=322107[/url]


Shay-Pari'e said --- "Ya, she is the new wife. Today she told someone *They* don't have to pay the X anymore, yet yesterday the X was still bleeding *Them* dry."

And the rest that have said those things below....

I guess you guys don't believe in having a joint account -- note the Log in name ummm -- maybe too sets of initials???

First -- she did not say still bleeding us dry -- said still TRYING to bleed us dry.

Anyway I am the husband and I don't appreciate any of your chatter. I asked a question which has not been completely answered. I did go to court in the past couple of days and had a mediation that was set up before I asked my question--- thought maybe someone had an idea. Mediation (court in my wife's) eyes settled the matter for now. We are done (I hope) and even though it is none of your business my ex has been paid for 6 years (under temporary and final orders) We (both my wife and I) do not feel we should have to pay her anymore. She has a new husband that can provide for her as well as her getting off her lazy butt and making her owe money.

Bitter -- no she is not bitter, just tired of paying the woman that has continuely lied and committed fraud on me and taken pretty much everything. We would continue to pay the final FEW MONTHS but come on she is remarried and she won't let me off the hook EVER. What my wife is upset about as I am and every guy or woman that has paid and done everything the courts have wanted is to continually get stuck paying for something and have no recourse. Like the fraud that she committed. It cost us thousands that we can't seem to get back from her without spending thousands more.

Also when you are in these situations you feel sorry for people that you see headed down the same road that you are finally seeing the end of. It is a sad and upsetting experience and now to have all of you be so mean and cruel that just tops it. It is sad and it can make you bitter in realizing that people you are asking help from can turn on you so quickly when you innocently log in to a site that both husband and wife have a joint "account" too and you honestly answer how you feel and what you JUST went through with the courts. Do I have to send you copies of what we signed in the mediation just to make you stop being so cruel??? Not going to happen so please just stop.

So please get back to my original question if you want to continue to comment!



Done Ranting? So we have to get back to your question or stop commenting on this thread? Are you a joke? .

PS.

As for your wifes advice giving skills, she sucks at it.

Bye Now.