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Accused of sex abuse on adult

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robertupland

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

1. A friend of mine called the police 3 days ago and is accusing me of offering him money for sexual favors. He claims he felt obligated because I take him out and buy him food. He also says it happened twice.
2. He lives in the assisted living facility I work at. He is their by choice. He is not court ordered and has never been judged i competent or anuthing like that.
3. We have never had any physical contact but we have talked about it. Sometimes seriously and sometimes not. He made a joke in text that he wanted to bang me. I made a joke in text that I would save up $500 to get with him. I make $10 so it was clearly a joke. I have also expressed interest in him via conversations and text. He has never told me to stop or that anything I said made him incomfortable.
4. My boss, his doctor, his family and his counselor knew we were friends and that we hang out together all the time.
My question will I likely be charged with a crime?
 


HighwayMan

Super Secret Senior Member
We are not clairvoyants so no one knows what will happen in your future.

Sounds to me like when you're at work you conduct yourself accordingly and not make sex talk with the residents.

If the police contact you tell them you won't speak to them without your attorney - then retain one.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
He made a joke in text that he wanted to bang me. I made a joke in text that I would save up $500 to get with him. I make $10 so it was clearly a joke
You may want to rethink how you make this particular point. This comes across as you asking for $500, even though you usually only charge $10.
 

quincy

Senior Member
We are not clairvoyants so no one knows what will happen in your future ...
Of course, the reason HighwayMan knows we are not clairvoyants is because he knows all and sees all. :)

You will need an attorney if you are approached by the police and questioned. If what you have said here is any indication of what you might tell the police, you really want to exercise your right to remain silent. Let your attorney speak for you.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

1. A friend of mine called the police 3 days ago and is accusing me of offering him money for sexual favors. He claims he felt obligated because I take him out and buy him food. He also says it happened twice.
2. He lives in the assisted living facility I work at. He is their by choice. He is not court ordered and has never been judged i competent or anuthing like that.
3. We have never had any physical contact but we have talked about it. Sometimes seriously and sometimes not. He made a joke in text that he wanted to bang me. I made a joke in text that I would save up $500 to get with him. I make $10 so it was clearly a joke. I have also expressed interest in him via conversations and text. He has never told me to stop or that anything I said made him incomfortable.
4. My boss, his doctor, his family and his counselor knew we were friends and that we hang out together all the time.
My question will I likely be charged with a crime?
Boundaries. Learn how to use them.

You are an employee. He is a client. It is okay to be cordial, but you have crossed a line. It is inappropriate for you to interact this way with a client. You could and should lose your job over this.

I don't know how likely you are to be charged with a crime, but you definitely are not cut out for this occupation.
 

robertupland

Junior Member
Ive been doing this long enough to know about boundaries. There is nothing saying staff and residents can't be friends. His doctor and xounselor actually encouraged the friendship because they felt it was helping his anxiety and depression. He is a competent, grown man. If at any point in time someone would have told me it wasn't ok I would have ended the friendship then and there.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Ive been doing this long enough to know about boundaries. There is nothing saying staff and residents can't be friends. His doctor and xounselor actually encouraged the friendship because they felt it was helping his anxiety and depression. He is a competent, grown man. If at any point in time someone would have told me it wasn't ok I would have ended the friendship then and there.
The "friendship line" was crossed at the point when you (plural) expressed a desire to "bang" one another...particularly for a caregiver in an assisted living facility.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
Ive been doing this long enough to know about boundaries. There is nothing saying staff and residents can't be friends. His doctor and xounselor actually encouraged the friendship because they felt it was helping his anxiety and depression. He is a competent, grown man. If at any point in time someone would have told me it wasn't ok I would have ended the friendship then and there.
Clearly you *don't* know boundaries or you wouldn't be in the pickle you are.

You could have just as easily responded to his text with, "Well... that's a bit TMI" or "LOL. Thx, I think?" - it is your *job* to de escalate such behavior, not try to escalate it to sexting!

The "friendship line" was crossed at the point when you (plural) expressed a desire to "bang" one another...particularly for a caregiver in an assisted living facility.
Exactly! So missing the like button.

And I'm pretty sure there's an employee handbook that's *very* clear on the subject. Or covered somewhere in the application process.
 

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