we set a roman candle off in the local post office.
Attempt arson of a post office? Attempt arson on federal post office property? I can’t imagine what in the he!! you fools could possibly have been thinking, as you struck that match?
However, I have some idea of what a judge will be thinking and it will be along the lines of this,,,,
Hmmm, these guys had nothing better to do, so they decide to ignite something inherently hazardous, namely, a roman candle, then leave it completely unattended and uncontrolled, clearly knowing it will shoot dozens of intense, spark trailing fireballs in random directions. Now, if that isn’t bad enough, they pull this stunt inside a Federal building, commonly referred to as a post office, which is at all times, stocked with tons of important stuff, en route to destinations world wide.
But wait, there's more:
Said important stuff consists of 99% paper products, which, as any idiot knows, are extremely flammable materials.
This then illustrates your total lack of concern, in spite of the fact that your actions were carried out in an arena, that knowingly presented a substantial increase in the probability of causing significant destruction of irreplaceable public and private property and date sensitive, important documents. Many of which are necessary and relied upon for the livelihood of thousands of citizens and businesses, both locally and nationwide.
i.e. monthly checks/food stamps, personal/business checks, credit cards, utility/tax/insurance bills/cut-off notices, licenses, photographs, family heirlooms, wedding invitations, tax returns, jury duty notices, factory rebates, pink slip/vehicle registration, Publishers clearance house special award winner notifications, TV guide, etc. etc.
Not to mention all the federal property and supplies that would have become useless ash as well as the building that hosted your colorful display of stupid.
Destroying federal property of this serious nature, causes tremendous stress and inconvenience to all those countless victims, not to mention mammoth consequential damages. Yes sir, Welcome to the World of Terrorism!
All said and done, that one Roman candle could have added up to an inconceivably large monetary loss. But the best part is that this unfathomable figure, would be due and payable by arson suspect(s)/Terrorist(s) (Yes, You!), upon release from prison!
Federal prison to be exact, as in no early release.
You would have been better off heading down to the local police station to try and set the chief’s desk ablaze.....
Will it go on my record in any way?
Going on your record as a Terrorist act, is going on it in a big way!
If I were you, I'd start praying for vandalism/tresspassing charges...........
