Arrested - Hit my wife and broker her arm.

[don_r6]

What is the name of your state? New York

I'm located in New York. About 1 month ago I got into an argument and hit my wife. I broke her arm and I was arrested. I spent one night at the local precint and 1 night at Riker's Island. It was the worst experience of my life. As a result of this... I will never lay a hand at anybody. My wife has already told the district attorney that she will not press charges, but the DA said they will pursue charges nonetheless. Currently there is an order of protection for my wife and we are living separately. According to my public defender, he said the case will most likely be lowered to a misdemeanor on the next court date because my wife will not press charges. My questions are, if the DA pursues this case will I go to jail even if the severity gets lowered to a misdemeanor (what is the likelihood?) and is the public defender good for the job or should I look for a defense lawyer to stay out of jail? I'm curious if a public defender is capable of winning these types of cases and keeping me out of jail. I really do not want to hire a defense lawyer because I will not be able to afford one.

This is my first brush with the law ... no prior arrests.

Any advice greatly appreciated!

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

If you can afford to hire a private attorney, do so. Do not communicate with your wife until the order of protection is removed by the courts. This includes communication initiated by your wife.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

If you can afford to hire a private attorney, do so. Do not communicate with your wife until the order of protection is removed by the courts. This includes communication initiated by your wife.

The order will not be lifted. He was abusive to the point he broke his wifes arm. Good advice OZ, but this is now in the DA's hand, and a beaten down wife that want's to help the abuser.

If the abuser can actually afford a attorney, he may get lucky enough to actually kill her.

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

The order will not be lifted. He was abusive to the point he broke his wifes arm. Good advice OZ, but this is now in the DA's hand, and a beaten down wife that want's to help the abuser.

If the abuser can actually afford a attorney, he may get lucky to actually kill her.

I agree the order will not be lifted, but I could see the OP communicating with his wife about the situation or vis versa. That would only make things worse for ALL of the parties involved.

 

[BL]

You not only committed DV but you also committed assault .

NY has gotten tough with DV , and rightfully so , as too many victims often end up fatalities .

It's out of your wife's hands as a result of tougher Laws.

It's now up to the Judicial system to deal with you .

As other have told you , do-not have any contact with you wife , or you'll end up back in the clink .

 

[>Charlotte<]

And forget the "I swear I'll never do it again" defense. It's not about what you might do in the future, it's about what you've already done. You abused your wife. You broke her arm and you deserve what you get. No, jail isn't a good place. That's why it's called "punishment" instead of "going to a picnic".

Make all the promises you want for the future (and I hope you keep them) but it's not like we all get one chance to beat up our spouses as long as we promise afterward that it will never happen again.

You did it, now pay for it.

 

[moburkes]

Based on OP's post, he learned his lesson because he went to jail, not because he decided not to put his hands on other people. He didn't express remorse for breaking her arm, only the consequences of his actions.

 

[don_r6]

I currently have no contacts with her at all. And I do not intend too until the order of protection is lifted. As for being sorry... I'm sorry for what I did and I'm even more sorry that I broke her arm. I feel so guilty and horrible for what I did to her.

 

[Code12er]

Not that it's my business, but how can someone hit a woman? The physical prowess of a man is naturally much greater than a woman. (unlesss she is unsual in some way of course). You might as well be hitting a child! Even in our worst days, my soon to be ex and I never came to blows..on either side.

My friend, get some serious counseling...even if you two don't stay together seek forgiveness from and for yourself. Women and Men can do horrible things to each other, but when you start hitting it brings us all back to the Stone Age.

 

[don_r6]

Currently, I'm going through anger management counseling. I know what I did is wrong and I can't get over it.

 

[Just Blue]

Currently, I'm going through anger management counseling. I know what I did is wrong and I can't get over it.

If you really want to change you should be seeking other forms of counseling as well...I am sure this wasn't the first time you assaulted your wife...just the first time you were reported.

 

[Code12er]

Well, let's not go extreme here. Everyone who does these kinds of things has a first time, perhaps it really was his. It's easy to sit here and judge the guy, but everyone has issues...and his happen to be in the area of anger and self control.

I'm not making excuses for him, but hopefully this will be his last time and he can focus on making it up to his wife (as much as possible in reality) and changing himself for the better.

He should pay the price for his "crime", hopefully jail won't be involved but it could be. Let's hope is rehabilitation is effective and society will be the better for it.

 

[Just Blue]

Well, let's not go extreme here. Everyone who does these kinds of things has a first time, perhaps it really was his. It's easy to sit here and judge the guy, but everyone has issues...and his happen to be in the area of anger and self control.

I'm not making excuses for him, but hopefully this will be his last time and he can focus on making it up to his wife (as much as possible in reality) and changing himself for the better.

He should pay the price for his "crime", hopefully jail won't be involved but it could be. Let's hope is rehabilitation is effective and society will be the better for it.

If the "first time" this guy lost his cool and it resulted in his wife having a broken arm, let us hope to GOD there is not a second! Batterers escalate their behavior...So next time this guy could kill his wife.

But I am willing to bet that this wasn't the first time...He probably has shoved his wife and smacked her around a bit...Told her how to dress and when she could go out with friends and family...He probably did all the things that other abusers do to their wives/girlfriends or in the case of female abusers...husbands/boyfriends.

 

[>Charlotte<]

If the "first time" this guy lost his cool and it resulted in his wife having a broken arm, let us hope to GOD there is not a second! Batterers escalate their behavior...So next time this guy could kill his wife.

But baystategirl, he said he feels just awful and he swears he'll never do it again!

He should pay the price for his "crime", hopefully jail won't be involved but it could be.

Are you kidding? "Hopefully" jail won't be involved? Because he's really sorry? Okay. So he should pay the price for his crime (and nice touch, putting "crime" in quotes) as long as the price isn't something that's going to be, you know, unpleasant for him or anything. Got it.

If someone gets mad at your daughter, grabs her, and applies sufficient force to snap the bone in her arm, I'm guessing your reaction isn't going to be "Gee, I hope he doesn't go to jail."

 

[Code12er]

We don't know his history, so we can't presume to know what he deserves. Obviously if he has a history of violence he deserves more of a punishment then a first time offender.

This is why I usually don't post on boards, too many bitter people reading things into what I post. The purpose of prison is rehabilitation and punishment. If the state feels that prison isn't the best thing for this guy then rehabilitation of him is the next best thing. Having him sit in jail on our dime isn't going to change anything. Perhaps he has children that need his financial support ?

Maybe he shouldn't be involved in personal relationships with women, perhaps he can't handle himself properly. I don't know what's typical in a case like his, maybe house arrest for a few years would be just...who knows. I'm glad I don't have the burden of judging others, and I don't want it.

Domestic Violence is appalling, of that I am not arguing. There is plenty of it, from women and men. There is a gender bias in our society in favor of women, meaning if a woman had broke a guy's arm I doubt there would be the uproar as there is on this thread. I mean hell, look at all these female teachers molesting their students. In no way are the punishments just there.