Hey shorecc,
Yeah, I read the article. First, like everyone here has already said, if its newsworthy, there is nothing you can do LEGALLY. so on to other tactics.
I had a doctor come to my firm a few months ago who was all over Google for malpractice several years ago - there was nothing that we could do for him. About the best that you could do is pay a marketing firm to build websites littered with your name or try it yourself and hope those sites outrank the quadrangle newspapers article - which may be an issue, since they are a PR6 Google Rank.
I did notice that when I googled each of your names only two names came up number one in google and one came up number three, so only three of you show up high in the rankings.
I do agree with you that its a bit ridiculous for them to still have the August issue online, when they claim to be a weekly newspaper. Perhaps a heartfelt letter to the webmaster? This is not legal advice - but you may want to even pay a lawyer to write a BS letter to them threatening slander or whatever they can think up and perhaps it will work; I know if I was webmaster I would take your name down if I got a certified attorneys letter.
But overall time is in your favor, I imagine they will be taking your home page feature down soon. However - the article itself will probably NEVER be taken down and remain ranked in google. So if you are one of the three names ranked in google, I would try the disinformation campaign I mentioned; build SEVERAL websites or blogs and put your name in the title tag so they rank first.
Good luck.