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  1. #1
    batman37 is offline Junior Member
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    Facebook Harassment?

    We live in Virginia.

    BACKGROUND: My girlfriend was at a bar one night and ran into a friend of this woman (Iíll call her Sue) who has previously made my gfís life difficult by spreading rumors about her, having Sueís friends verbally assault her when they see her out, etc. Well this friend was intoxicated and began telling my gf that Sue had been saying things (calling her a whore, etc) about her again and that Sue really shouldnít be talking about anyone because she has been with so many guys. They also told my gf about an incident where Sue had claimed to not want to be around ďGísĒ (referring to black people) that many people on facebook were upset about. One guys even referred to her by name and said that she is always starting drama for everyone. So basically, my gf, upset about the situation, created a fake facebook profile and sent the woman a message saying that she should not F with peopleís lives without taking a look in the mirror. She then listed a bunch of guys that Sue has dated, ďtalkedĒ to, messed around with. She said that it was messed up that Sue would ďFĒ Gís, but didnít want to associate with them in public. It was also posted as the status, even though this fake profile did not have any friends to see it. So Sue replied and said that she wasnít referring to black people necessarily and that she was sorry and wasnít a drama-filled person.

    My gf was mad when she sent the message, and she has told me repeatedly that she knows that it was the dumbest thing she could have done. She immediately deactivated the fake account. About a week later, my girlfriend logged back onto the account and sent an apology (still not revealing her identity) to Sue. She said she was sorry and things got out of hand. Sue replied saying that she was glad my gf contacted her because she had filed a police report and now that the facebook account was reactivated, the police could track the facebook ID to arrest her. Sue then said that if my gf did not reveal her identity, she would press charges for slander and harassment. My gf deactivated the account again and has not since contacted Sue. She has heard from a mutual friend that Sue said that the cops are investigating this to find the identity of the sender.

    My question is, what is the most trouble that my gf could get into? Will the police really go so far as to investigate this? Iíve done a little research and know that the cops have to get a warrant to get the IP address from facebook , and then another warrant to get the physical location from the ISP. I donít know how hard it is to do this, but would they really go through the trouble to do this for something that is not that serious? I think that slander does not apply because nothing false was really said. My only concern is the harassment. Some similar situations Iíve read, people have said the cops wonít do much. Others said that they would track down and arrest the perpetrator.

    Iím mostly worried because my gf is 6 months preganant with our baby and I know that stress can be really bad for the baby. Obviously, I also donít want her to go to jail. Iím really upset that she would do something so stupid! Should we start looking for a lawyer now? Any advice would be very helpful.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
  2. #2
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by batman37 View Post
    We live in Virginia.

    BACKGROUND: My girlfriend was at a bar one night and ran into a friend of this woman (Iíll call her Sue) who has previously made my gfís life difficult by spreading rumors about her, having Sueís friends verbally assault her when they see her out, etc. Well this friend was intoxicated and began telling my gf that Sue had been saying things (calling her a whore, etc) about her again and that Sue really shouldnít be talking about anyone because she has been with so many guys. They also told my gf about an incident where Sue had claimed to not want to be around ďGísĒ (referring to black people) that many people on facebook were upset about. One guys even referred to her by name and said that she is always starting drama for everyone. So basically, my gf, upset about the situation, created a fake facebook profile and sent the woman a message saying that she should not F with peopleís lives without taking a look in the mirror. She then listed a bunch of guys that Sue has dated, ďtalkedĒ to, messed around with. She said that it was messed up that Sue would ďFĒ Gís, but didnít want to associate with them in public. It was also posted as the status, even though this fake profile did not have any friends to see it. So Sue replied and said that she wasnít referring to black people necessarily and that she was sorry and wasnít a drama-filled person.

    My gf was mad when she sent the message, and she has told me repeatedly that she knows that it was the dumbest thing she could have done. She immediately deactivated the fake account. About a week later, my girlfriend logged back onto the account and sent an apology (still not revealing her identity) to Sue. She said she was sorry and things got out of hand. Sue replied saying that she was glad my gf contacted her because she had filed a police report and now that the facebook account was reactivated, the police could track the facebook ID to arrest her. Sue then said that if my gf did not reveal her identity, she would press charges for slander and harassment. My gf deactivated the account again and has not since contacted Sue. She has heard from a mutual friend that Sue said that the cops are investigating this to find the identity of the sender.

    My question is, what is the most trouble that my gf could get into? Will the police really go so far as to investigate this? Iíve done a little research and know that the cops have to get a warrant to get the IP address from facebook , and then another warrant to get the physical location from the ISP. I donít know how hard it is to do this, but would they really go through the trouble to do this for something that is not that serious? I think that slander does not apply because nothing false was really said. My only concern is the harassment. Some similar situations Iíve read, people have said the cops wonít do much. Others said that they would track down and arrest the perpetrator.

    Iím mostly worried because my gf is 6 months preganant with our baby and I know that stress can be really bad for the baby. Obviously, I also donít want her to go to jail. Iím really upset that she would do something so stupid! Should we start looking for a lawyer now? Any advice would be very helpful.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

    I guess it is just a game of wait and see. What was your pregnant girlfriend doing at a bar?
  3. #3
    batman37 is offline Junior Member
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    She was dropping off a box of belongings to the bartender, who lived with her but recently moved out.
  4. #4
    xylene is offline Senior Member
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    Your girlfriend has massive pregnancy brain or she is just stupid.

    Why is a mother to be engaging in such childish antics?

    And the by the way, it is perfectly legal to say you don't want to be around black people or whatever on facebook.

    The person your girlfriend harassed is probably just jerking her around.

    You probably want to get a paternity test when the kid is born - maybe you dodged a bullet.
  5. #5
    batman37 is offline Junior Member
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    I agree that it was incredibly stupid of her. I am upset that she would even stoop to this level. Plus, she had no consideration about what effect this could have on our baby. That said, I still love her and am concerned.

    So what if she's not just being jerked around? Could she go to jail? I would hate for her to be in jail when then baby is due. Should I start looking for a lawyer?
  6. #6
    Antigone* is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by batman37 View Post
    I agree that it was incredibly stupid of her. I am upset that she would even stoop to this level. Plus, she had no consideration about what effect this could have on our baby. That said, I still love her and am concerned.

    So what if she's not just being jerked around? Could she go to jail? I would hate for her to be in jail when then baby is due. Should I start looking for a lawyer?
    Just tell her not to speak to police ~ at all. Don't do a think unless contacted by police.
  7. #7
    batman37 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antigone* View Post
    Just tell her not to speak to police ~ at all. Don't do a think unless contacted by police.
    I told her this because after she got the last reply from Sue, she wanted to go to the police department and tell them it was her. Should she admit her identity to Sue? What could her possible charges be? Sorry for so many questions, I am just trying to educate myself a little so that I am not caught completely off guard.
  8. #8
    xylene is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by batman37 View Post
    I told her this because after she got the last reply from Sue, she wanted to go to the police department and tell them it was her. Should she admit her identity to Sue? What could her possible charges be? Sorry for so many questions, I am just trying to educate myself a little so that I am not caught completely off guard.
    This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

    This isn't TV. You don't get an "aww schucks thanks for coming clean"

    The only thing that is between her and a harasment charge is the fact that the police and sue don know and to find out would take investigate resources that the police don't have to spend on facebook BS that doesn't involve a serious criminal like a credible terrorist threat against a third party.

    Not to mention the fact that when she fesses of up, Sue could also sue in civil court as well as push the criminal matter to the next level.

    Your girlfriend should shut up, delete her own social netowrking pages (all of em) and not say anything. Just put it behind her. She needs to take a huge break from the internet because it is totally clear she has no control of her emotions and has a lot to learn about being a "net savvy citizen" in a day and age when you can be tracked.
  9. #9
    batman37 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by xylene View Post
    Your girlfriend should shut up, delete her own social netowrking pages (all of em) and not say anything. Just put it behind her. She needs to take a huge break from the internet because it is totally clear she has no control of her emotions and has a lot to learn about being a "net savvy citizen" in a day and age when you can be tracked.
    I agree. I just made her delete her own personal Facebook page. I also added on a password to login to the computer. It's ridiculous that a 23 year old woman needs to be babysat on the computer. I get annoyed the more I think about it.

    So you really don't think that the police will bother persuing this? I was told that it is not hard to get the information from Facebook.
    Last edited by batman37; 11-17-2011 at 12:54 PM. Reason: Grammar correction
  10. #10
    HighwayMan is offline Senior Member
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    Just wait and see what happens. I think you're getting all upset over nothing right now.

    If anything is tracked it would be to the account holder. Whose internet account is it?
  11. #11
    batman37 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by HighwayMan View Post
    Just wait and see what happens. I think you're getting all upset over nothing right now.

    If anything is tracked it would be to the account holder. Whose internet account is it?
    The account is in my name. Will I be held responsible even though I was not the one that sent the message?

    Does anyone know how long before we should hear anything about this?
  12. #12
    >Charlotte< is offline Senior Member
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    Seriously? Nothing's going to happen. "Sue" is either trying to scare your girlfriend, or when she called the police they humored her with "we'll take a report" and the message is sitting in a pile of miscellaneous paperwork.

    Facebook has proven one thing: there are a lot of people out there whose maturity level stopped at sixth grade, they all have Facebook accounts, and they're all swirling around in a giant cloud of drama. The police don't have time for that kind of crap, and you shouldn't have time for it either.

    Is it possible your girlfriend can get in trouble? Sure, it's possible. But realistically, nobody but Sue and your girlfriend care about their stupid little drama-bomb grade school "oh-no-she-dint!" spite-fest. Relax.
  13. #13
    Humusluvr is offline Senior Member
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    I doubt the police are going to actively pursue ladies talking smack.

    If your gf threatened her, like threatening to kill her, hurt her, or hurt other people, THEN I would be worried.

    And putting a password on a computer is not going to stop police if they get a warrant for the computer. They have people that break through passwords like twigs. And, you can't really delete any profile FOREVER. All that stuff lingers, due to IP addresses, cookies, and codes.
  14. #14
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by batman37 View Post
    I agree. I just made her delete her own personal Facebook page. I also added on a password to login to the computer. It's ridiculous that a 23 year old woman needs to be babysat on the computer. I get annoyed the more I think about it.

    So you really don't think that the police will bother persuing this? I was told that it is not hard to get the information from Facebook.
    you "made her"? really? you think YOUR controlling behavior is going to stop her from acting childish? because it's not. she'll just find another route.

    blocking computer usage? more controlling behavior. stop that. you are going to end up making YOUR life miserable.

    the woman is bluffing. the police could care less if this doesn't happen again. next time she brings it up, tell her you don't want to know about it and it's her own sticky mess. you are just giving her negative attention by worrying about it.
  15. #15
    xylene is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isis1 View Post
    you "made her"? really? you think YOUR controlling behavior is going to stop her from acting childish? because it's not. she'll just find another route.

    blocking computer usage? more controlling behavior. stop that. you are going to end up making YOUR life miserable.
    These are reasonable steps to protect the putative mother of his child from self-harm.

    I would never let another person, especially my mate, touch my computer. Let alone use it to harass people.

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