P
Putrid Poot
Guest
What is the name of your state? CA
I need some advice on a very recent legal problem, the circumstances to which I shall explain. Prior to my explanation I will say that I have not retained the services of an attorney as of yet and I have NEVER been in trouble prior to this incident. I was out drinking with the homies and at the end of the night accepted a ride with the barmaid that neither drinks nor does anything else for that matter (not even me, her loss). I fell asleep in the car during the ride and was abruptly awakened by a police officer dragging me out and throwing me up against the car. Since I was not sure just what the hell was going on of course I struggled. Not much, mind you, because I was three sheets to the wind, hammered, zooted, splowed (or pick your own adjective). I finally came to my senses and realized I was being cuffed. We were at a gas station and my ride was being held back by another officer while screaming, "Leave him alone, you b&%$#@*d!" "What the hell is going on?" I demanded to know. "You are under arrest," he replied. "For what? What the hell did I do?" "Public intoxication." "Public intoxication," I screamed, "Pal, I was sleeping in the car!! You pulled me out!!!" "Tell it to the judge!!" he retorted. "Tell THIS to the judge!" I then cut a nice, steamy, wet 50 megaton blaster that contained all the effervessence of the suicidal buffalo wings, pepperoni pizza, chili cheese fries, bloomin' onion, and icy cold delicious brew I had consumed earlier that evening. Due to his close proximity to my exhumed exhalation it permeated his clothing and he nearly passed out. I giggled like a school girl in heat when one of his comrades at the station asked him, "Geeze, what the hell is that smell?" Yes, the funk was on HIM!! Upon release I saw that I had been charged with public intoxication, resisting arrest and assault on an officer. I would really like some advice as to the legalities (or lack thereof) of these charges. Specifically, will the charges stick on me like my essense of putrescence did on him? Will the schmuckeroo not bother to even show up due to embarrassment? I have visualized him being laughed out of the courtroom once the charges are explained. Alas, 'tis just a fantasy....so far. Just want to know what I should expect or what I should do. This has left me quite distressed needless to say. I later was informed that my arresting shock absorbser was someone my ride had dumped just a week prior. Thank you in advance for any insight to my first foray within the justice system.
I need some advice on a very recent legal problem, the circumstances to which I shall explain. Prior to my explanation I will say that I have not retained the services of an attorney as of yet and I have NEVER been in trouble prior to this incident. I was out drinking with the homies and at the end of the night accepted a ride with the barmaid that neither drinks nor does anything else for that matter (not even me, her loss). I fell asleep in the car during the ride and was abruptly awakened by a police officer dragging me out and throwing me up against the car. Since I was not sure just what the hell was going on of course I struggled. Not much, mind you, because I was three sheets to the wind, hammered, zooted, splowed (or pick your own adjective). I finally came to my senses and realized I was being cuffed. We were at a gas station and my ride was being held back by another officer while screaming, "Leave him alone, you b&%$#@*d!" "What the hell is going on?" I demanded to know. "You are under arrest," he replied. "For what? What the hell did I do?" "Public intoxication." "Public intoxication," I screamed, "Pal, I was sleeping in the car!! You pulled me out!!!" "Tell it to the judge!!" he retorted. "Tell THIS to the judge!" I then cut a nice, steamy, wet 50 megaton blaster that contained all the effervessence of the suicidal buffalo wings, pepperoni pizza, chili cheese fries, bloomin' onion, and icy cold delicious brew I had consumed earlier that evening. Due to his close proximity to my exhumed exhalation it permeated his clothing and he nearly passed out. I giggled like a school girl in heat when one of his comrades at the station asked him, "Geeze, what the hell is that smell?" Yes, the funk was on HIM!! Upon release I saw that I had been charged with public intoxication, resisting arrest and assault on an officer. I would really like some advice as to the legalities (or lack thereof) of these charges. Specifically, will the charges stick on me like my essense of putrescence did on him? Will the schmuckeroo not bother to even show up due to embarrassment? I have visualized him being laughed out of the courtroom once the charges are explained. Alas, 'tis just a fantasy....so far. Just want to know what I should expect or what I should do. This has left me quite distressed needless to say. I later was informed that my arresting shock absorbser was someone my ride had dumped just a week prior. Thank you in advance for any insight to my first foray within the justice system.