KristenLeAnne20
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Ohio
I just turned 18 on May 17. I lived with my father and two younger sisters (mother lives an hour away and see her occasionally) My father is very controlling and agressive, he has used mental and verbal abuse on me for years, but always counteracts it minutes or a few hours later with loads of apologies and hugs and telling me im his baby girl forever and he'll always protect me, etc. etc. He also smokes weed on a daily basis. He forced me to become like imy younger sisters mother starting probably about 6th grade (when i was 12) staying home all day with them while he worked, I had to quit cheerleading because he said we had no other option (right before this I had a stepmother for a year, but they divorced), which I did without complaining. I had to clean the entire house, have dinner made for him and the family, make phone calls for him, etc. and I being the type of person that I am was glad to help, but at the same time I really just wanted to be a kid. Starting about junior high i developed an eating disorder as a result of the responsibility of being 12/13 and basically raising two younger sisters and his verbal abuse ( I hear almost every day in a violent rampage ignited by the smalled little thing, or if he has a bad day, he takes it out on me, I'm stupid, a dumbass, trailer trash, I'll amount to nothing in life, lazy, no good) in 8th grade the school nurse called home because she thought I had a problem, of course i denied it to my dad, later he got mad about something and in a yelling rampage told me if he found out it was true he'd kick my ass, so naturally I continued to hide it from him and he was hardly ever home to know any better. I also had to get up and wake him up every morning (he said he didnt like alarm clocks) have his coffee already made when he woke up ( he got very pissed if it wasnt already made) have the grocery list made for him, i wasnt allowed on the phone while he wasnt home, the curtains had to be closed, i wasnt allowed to go outside when he wasnt home, i was allowed to very little because his response was always "what do you want me to do with your little sisters?" so most of the time i didnt even ask. he also had me start writing out checks for bills for him because he said his hands hurt him, progressively he made me do more and more of it, balancing his check book, writing all of the bills, eventually to him not even ever looking at the bills at all and assuming i had it taken care of.
In high school I was still not allowed to join after school clubs or sports because I had to babysit and he continued his verbal and mental abuse. When I could finally drive he bought me a small $1000 car that i drove for probably 5 months, and he then gave me his pretty nice car and bought himself a different one, once i could drive i did ALL of the grocery shopping, he hasnt done it once since i could drive,always took his checks to the bank, transer money between accounts, he gave me debit cards for both accounts so i could shop for him, and he still continued to never look at his bills at all, assuming i did them. As a result of him assuming everything was fine with the money, and he always thought he could buy whatever the hell he wanted, we didnt seem to have much money because he lost reality with how much the bills cost. it started as something little, maybe a gas bill had to be paid a week late, but there wasnt a late charge or anything. progressively it got worse, and i did want to tell him, but I really never do anything wrong, and even when I dont do something wrong I seem to get in trouble for missing a cobweb in a corner when i cleaned (and i mean screamed names at and grounded when i say get in trouble) and he had several times physically threatened me, so i just thought ill be able to fix it, pay the late stuff, no problem. over two years stuff started to pile up, id get it all current, he'd want to buy something and he'd ask me if we had the money and id say yes, but it will be really tight, he'd buy it anyways. right before i turned 18 he found the late statements for stuff, our mortgage was 3 payments behind, car was one late, gas bill, electric, water, were a month late, also a few credit cards and a loan were late. he flipped out at me over it, but i was so upset and horrible feeling about it and i told him I thought he would have killed me over it that he was very very angry, but he said we'd work it out. the net day he was angry and yelling at me, calling me names and saying id be a slut for some trailer trash (very very offensive to a 17 year old virgin to hear from her dad) everyday he'd come home in a violent screaming name calling session with me ask me why i didnt tell him, i told him i was afraid of him, he said he didnt believe that because he'd only slapped me once(but when he did he told me if i called the cops it would be the worst mistake id ever made in my life, and if i tried to get help from any family he'd beat their doors down and kick the **** out of them and take me) and refused to accept that i was afraid of him while he was threatening me. one night his rampage got so bad and i was so upset i told him if he hated me so much then to kill me, he told me to shut the **** up, not to say that, but also that he'd really really like to, all night i was a mess, and he'd check up on me, but it had happened so many times before. I havent been allowed to do anything with any friends for a month (i wasnt even allowed to go to graduation parties) but of course i know that i caused a lot of problems, but i had no idea what to do when it was going on, i was always so tense and scared when he was home because i never did anything right, I was also an honors student and always got good grades, but that meant nothing to him at all. When i first started working the majority of my money went to his bank account to fix the past due stuff (he just didnt know because he never looked at any of his bank stuff) and my checks were going to him when he found out about it, voluntarily on my part. The only thing i was still allowed to do was go on senior vacation because it was planned months ago and the room was already booked and all, so i went to myrtle beach. he told me i could spend $500 while on vacation (and i had his debit card to use) I was calling him atleast twice a day to check in, a few days ago i called him and he called back 10 minutes later but i was in the shower, he called again and again, and my friends knew it was ringing, but they are afraid of him so they didnt answer either, in the 15 minutes before i called him back he called my friend to try to get my boyfriends phone number because he swore i wasnt answering his calls because i was on the phone with him, so when i was talking to him he asked for his number in a rage and i told him no (i always comply with him, i am not at all the type to talk back) because i knew he was going to call him at work, cuss him out, and tell him we were broken up and for him to stay away from me, my dad had told me i didnt deserve to have a boyfriend. I continued to tell him no. he told me i had no home, no car, nothing. he asked me if the cell phone bill was paid for this month, and with the way the monthly billing works i thought it was, he called and it wasnt, so he shut my phone off. so he called my friends parents moms house because he had the number because my car was sitting there for a week, told her horrible things about me, that id stolen money from him and claimed hed gone thru my room and found some alcohol id never even heard of, absolutely no way was it in my room unless he put it there, and pills, and i know any pills in my room were legal over the counter pain relievers. he called all of the moms of my friends with me and told him id stolen money from him (any and all money i spent he knew about, I never ever ever stole money from him) i was doing drugs, i was an alcoholic, i needed to see a psychiatrist, to watch out for me, etc. then had my little sisters call to get my friends cell phone numbers and he started calling them constantly, finally trying by blocking the number, but i wouldnt answer. one of my friends moms had to unplug her phone because he wouldnt stop calling past midnight. finally after he'd called too many parents i tried to talk to him and it went around in circles, he physically threatened me, told me he may not know my boyfriends name but he knows where he works and he was going to get his buddies and he'd show me "just how much of a redneck he can be" i told him my boyfriend hadnt done anything, but he said he didnt care, it would make him feel better.
I just turned 18 on May 17. I lived with my father and two younger sisters (mother lives an hour away and see her occasionally) My father is very controlling and agressive, he has used mental and verbal abuse on me for years, but always counteracts it minutes or a few hours later with loads of apologies and hugs and telling me im his baby girl forever and he'll always protect me, etc. etc. He also smokes weed on a daily basis. He forced me to become like imy younger sisters mother starting probably about 6th grade (when i was 12) staying home all day with them while he worked, I had to quit cheerleading because he said we had no other option (right before this I had a stepmother for a year, but they divorced), which I did without complaining. I had to clean the entire house, have dinner made for him and the family, make phone calls for him, etc. and I being the type of person that I am was glad to help, but at the same time I really just wanted to be a kid. Starting about junior high i developed an eating disorder as a result of the responsibility of being 12/13 and basically raising two younger sisters and his verbal abuse ( I hear almost every day in a violent rampage ignited by the smalled little thing, or if he has a bad day, he takes it out on me, I'm stupid, a dumbass, trailer trash, I'll amount to nothing in life, lazy, no good) in 8th grade the school nurse called home because she thought I had a problem, of course i denied it to my dad, later he got mad about something and in a yelling rampage told me if he found out it was true he'd kick my ass, so naturally I continued to hide it from him and he was hardly ever home to know any better. I also had to get up and wake him up every morning (he said he didnt like alarm clocks) have his coffee already made when he woke up ( he got very pissed if it wasnt already made) have the grocery list made for him, i wasnt allowed on the phone while he wasnt home, the curtains had to be closed, i wasnt allowed to go outside when he wasnt home, i was allowed to very little because his response was always "what do you want me to do with your little sisters?" so most of the time i didnt even ask. he also had me start writing out checks for bills for him because he said his hands hurt him, progressively he made me do more and more of it, balancing his check book, writing all of the bills, eventually to him not even ever looking at the bills at all and assuming i had it taken care of.
In high school I was still not allowed to join after school clubs or sports because I had to babysit and he continued his verbal and mental abuse. When I could finally drive he bought me a small $1000 car that i drove for probably 5 months, and he then gave me his pretty nice car and bought himself a different one, once i could drive i did ALL of the grocery shopping, he hasnt done it once since i could drive,always took his checks to the bank, transer money between accounts, he gave me debit cards for both accounts so i could shop for him, and he still continued to never look at his bills at all, assuming i did them. As a result of him assuming everything was fine with the money, and he always thought he could buy whatever the hell he wanted, we didnt seem to have much money because he lost reality with how much the bills cost. it started as something little, maybe a gas bill had to be paid a week late, but there wasnt a late charge or anything. progressively it got worse, and i did want to tell him, but I really never do anything wrong, and even when I dont do something wrong I seem to get in trouble for missing a cobweb in a corner when i cleaned (and i mean screamed names at and grounded when i say get in trouble) and he had several times physically threatened me, so i just thought ill be able to fix it, pay the late stuff, no problem. over two years stuff started to pile up, id get it all current, he'd want to buy something and he'd ask me if we had the money and id say yes, but it will be really tight, he'd buy it anyways. right before i turned 18 he found the late statements for stuff, our mortgage was 3 payments behind, car was one late, gas bill, electric, water, were a month late, also a few credit cards and a loan were late. he flipped out at me over it, but i was so upset and horrible feeling about it and i told him I thought he would have killed me over it that he was very very angry, but he said we'd work it out. the net day he was angry and yelling at me, calling me names and saying id be a slut for some trailer trash (very very offensive to a 17 year old virgin to hear from her dad) everyday he'd come home in a violent screaming name calling session with me ask me why i didnt tell him, i told him i was afraid of him, he said he didnt believe that because he'd only slapped me once(but when he did he told me if i called the cops it would be the worst mistake id ever made in my life, and if i tried to get help from any family he'd beat their doors down and kick the **** out of them and take me) and refused to accept that i was afraid of him while he was threatening me. one night his rampage got so bad and i was so upset i told him if he hated me so much then to kill me, he told me to shut the **** up, not to say that, but also that he'd really really like to, all night i was a mess, and he'd check up on me, but it had happened so many times before. I havent been allowed to do anything with any friends for a month (i wasnt even allowed to go to graduation parties) but of course i know that i caused a lot of problems, but i had no idea what to do when it was going on, i was always so tense and scared when he was home because i never did anything right, I was also an honors student and always got good grades, but that meant nothing to him at all. When i first started working the majority of my money went to his bank account to fix the past due stuff (he just didnt know because he never looked at any of his bank stuff) and my checks were going to him when he found out about it, voluntarily on my part. The only thing i was still allowed to do was go on senior vacation because it was planned months ago and the room was already booked and all, so i went to myrtle beach. he told me i could spend $500 while on vacation (and i had his debit card to use) I was calling him atleast twice a day to check in, a few days ago i called him and he called back 10 minutes later but i was in the shower, he called again and again, and my friends knew it was ringing, but they are afraid of him so they didnt answer either, in the 15 minutes before i called him back he called my friend to try to get my boyfriends phone number because he swore i wasnt answering his calls because i was on the phone with him, so when i was talking to him he asked for his number in a rage and i told him no (i always comply with him, i am not at all the type to talk back) because i knew he was going to call him at work, cuss him out, and tell him we were broken up and for him to stay away from me, my dad had told me i didnt deserve to have a boyfriend. I continued to tell him no. he told me i had no home, no car, nothing. he asked me if the cell phone bill was paid for this month, and with the way the monthly billing works i thought it was, he called and it wasnt, so he shut my phone off. so he called my friends parents moms house because he had the number because my car was sitting there for a week, told her horrible things about me, that id stolen money from him and claimed hed gone thru my room and found some alcohol id never even heard of, absolutely no way was it in my room unless he put it there, and pills, and i know any pills in my room were legal over the counter pain relievers. he called all of the moms of my friends with me and told him id stolen money from him (any and all money i spent he knew about, I never ever ever stole money from him) i was doing drugs, i was an alcoholic, i needed to see a psychiatrist, to watch out for me, etc. then had my little sisters call to get my friends cell phone numbers and he started calling them constantly, finally trying by blocking the number, but i wouldnt answer. one of my friends moms had to unplug her phone because he wouldnt stop calling past midnight. finally after he'd called too many parents i tried to talk to him and it went around in circles, he physically threatened me, told me he may not know my boyfriends name but he knows where he works and he was going to get his buddies and he'd show me "just how much of a redneck he can be" i told him my boyfriend hadnt done anything, but he said he didnt care, it would make him feel better.
