Interesting Trespassing Scenario

[Blackblueberry]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

I have an interesting trespassing scenario that I need advice with. My girlfriend's father is unhappy with me - the reasons are not important. The point is I have never done or said anything that would imply any physical harm to him, my girlfriend, or her family. FWIW, I am 20, she is 19.

Her dad has been trying to get in contact with me all day, but I've been ignoring his calls (don't need to make the situation worse). He finally left a message on her phone that I am not permitted in his house (she still lives at home) while he is there, or he will call the police and have me charged with trespassing.

Her mother still lives at home, but they are getting a divorce. He will be leaving the home, eventually. Her mother has no problem with me being at the house.

Both her mother and father are on the deed to the house. Who has the ultimate say - her mother or father? If her mother is not home, can he order me off the property? If both are home, am I allowed to be there? Thanks for any advice you can provide. If need be, I will check with the local township police.

[swrdmbo]

As long as he is occupying the house and is either on the deed or lease agreement he has every right to deny you entry to the house.The fact that the mother has no problem will not help you much if he decides to call the police.

Since he will be leaving soon I would not antagonize him.Have your girlfriend come over to your place for the time being.

[cyjeff]

And be a grown up and answer your own phone.

Geez.

[Blackblueberry]

Originally Posted by swrdmbo

As long as he is occupying the house and is either on the deed or lease agreement he has every right to deny you entry to the house.The fact that the mother has no problem will not help you much if he decides to call the police.

Since he will be leaving soon I would not antagonize him.Have your girlfriend come over to your place for the time being.

Thanks for the response. If the mother is present and he is not, am I allowed to be there?

Originally Posted by cyjeff

And be a grown up and answer your own phone.

Geez.

Our last conversation last night was not a friendly one. There are a lot of emotions between us. Also, he called me while I was at work 4 times (personal phone calls are frowned upon in the office I work in) so I was unable to speak to him. I could have picked up the phone and had another argument, but I took the "grown up" approach and chose not to engage with him.

[outonbail]

Whether you can be charged with trespassing or not is questionable. Because mom has as much pull in allowing or disallowing you as dad does. So if dad wants to ensure that you do not come around, he will need to go to court and request a judge to issue a restraining order.

I'm not saying that he can't call the police and have them escort you off the property and even ask them to arrest you, but since you have mom's permission and you will most likely deny that dad ever told you not to come on the property, I believe the police will just escort you off the property and give you a warning not to return. Then they'll send you on your way with a warning to the effect of,,,, if they get called back out for you being there, they will arrest you.

They will then advise dad to get a restraining order, because once that is in effect, you will be arrested for any violation of the order.

BTW, the true adult should be able to speak to other adults without having to toss verbal blows back and forth. When your angry, you tend to react with your emotions. When you are calm and thinking clearly you can react logically. So learn to be passive and not react with the same anger as he is venting. You will find that when you do this, that most often, the person who is yelling and angry, will suddenly realize that there is no need for it, because no one is yelling back at them.

I agree he shouldn't be calling you at work. However because you refuse to speak to him any other time, he may have no other way to get you on the phone. So don't avoid him and don't argue with him. Let him vent and then calmly tell him that you have listened to his points, then ask him to extend you the same courtesy. You should reply to his issues calmly and intelligently. It takes some practice if you're used to giving back more of the same attitude as your receiving. But you will discover keeping your cool provides better results in most situations.

Last, if you have any plans of getting serious with this girlfriend and expect to have a future with her, you will need to make things work with dad. Any other way will cause one problem after another. So respect dad, respect his wishes and do not get involved or stick your nose in their private family matters.

[Blackblueberry]

Thanks for the responses.