Lost and don't know what to do at this point...

[Era5460]

Well, i hope this is the right forum to post this in as i didnt know where else to go...(sorry for the long story but i wanted to be as detailed as possible so you understand me)

This is my story and any input negative or positive i would love please.

I'm a 21 year old male and live in Western Massachusetts with a bit of a dilema.

My story starts when i was 19, i was working at a retail store where over 4 months i stole a large ammount of electronics and caught a case for grand larceny. This case was final with probation for a year and banned from that stores property anywhere in the world (this was my first case ever). During the months that i was stealing i began to get very "****y" with my money and got into things like my first credit card and electronics from Rent-To-Own stores (my apartment was later on broken into and all of this was stolen so i now owe for all of those items i do not own anymore), and not really caring about things like speeding tickets or going out to clubs and buying things to use on the weekends... after getting caught and losing my job basicly i fell into a whole i couldnt pull myself out of... i had tickets and a credit card i could not pay, and court fees i barely made. During my probation my license was suspended for a half a year for a pricey ticket i recieved that i was unable to pay. Not knowing this was the case i was driving (an unregistered car and no license) and got pulled over for my license plate not being there (fell off i just never noticed.) and i was arrested for driving with no license and my car was towed. Later that same week i recieved a call from my lawyer asking why i never appeared to court and told me my date had been moved up 2 days and that i was left a voicemail i did not hear in time i now have a warrant and cleared it the next day... a month or so later i am issued yet another warrant for a court date i never recieved a notice for or call for, that same week i head out with several friends to a night club and leave being the only sober person in my group, my friend refusing to let anyone else drive his car i took the risk of driving without a license because i was nowhere near home and couldnt live withmyself letting them drive and having something happen like an accident. Of course i get pulled over for his headlight being out in the same city i was pulled over before and they arrest me again. At this point i catch a case for driving with a suspended license along with now a violation of probation due to the warrant i had. That upcoming new years i am in a plaza parking lot waiting for someone that happened to have the store i was banned from... that stores asset protection recognizes me from working with me before and calls the police, i get arrested and catch yet ANOTHER violation of probation, i now have 3 cities i have to report for cases. Fees that my family is digging money up for me to keep up with, and debts i cant take care of outside of court.

Since all of this, the probation case for the grand larceny is closed and over with.
I still hold a case for the trespassing and driving with a suspended license.
Along with debts i have not been able to pay.

The total ammount of money i have paid so far i cannot count. As you can imagine finding work after all of this has been an impossible mission even more since jobs in my area for someone without a vehicle is EXTREMELY hard to find.

So my issue lies that in total i owe about 3,500$ if i wanna live the life of a normal 21 year old again.

I am holding a job but due to bills and trying to take care of things little by little but i just cannot keep up.

I currently have a warrant in 1 city due to me not having the money to pay them and i do not want to go to jail as i spent 4 days in my states correctional facility because one of the times i got arrested was on a VERY busy holiday weekend and never wanna set foot in that hell hole again.

Thanks to the credit card i got my credit is basicly shot since i have not been able to pay that so i dont know what to do.

Is there any option for me to get a loan of some sort to just get back on my feet.

I have drasticly changed my ways and look at things from such a different view now. I work, go to church (wich i have gone to my whole life not just now.) and come home thats it.

I can easely manage paying a loan off month by month but i cannot sleep or even set foot out of the house without my heart racing thinking im going to get arrested and go in again. It's too much for me to handle.

and the posibility of my family getting a loan for me isnt an option, wich i fully understand since i have been nothing but irresponsable.

Any advice would be amazing, thanks!

 

[las365]

First advice: edit your post down to the current issues you have to deal with and what you are seeking advice about.

Is your only question really how you can get a loan?

 

[Era5460]

Basicly yes after re-reading what i wrote i guess that it my main problem...trying to avoid jail so finding some way to get a loan... again i dont know if i posted this in the wrong section so sorry if i did or if this is even the forum to post this on... just ran out of ideas

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Concentrate on filling in the holes you have dug and don't dig anymore. In time, things should work out.

 

[justalayman]

if your family, who most likely is closer to you than anybody else in the world, has not seen enough of a change to cause them to offer assistance here, why would you expect anybody else to give you money?

 

[ERAUPIKE]

You can't pay what little debt you have, but you expect to be able to pay off more debt without an issue. I'd like to point out that the credit card isn't the reason your credit is wrecked. You using financial instruments irresponsibly is the reason. I assume that you have a relatively low paying job, no vehicle, a fair amount of debt for someone your age, and what is now a pretty extensive criminal record. What part of that would entice a bank to loan you any amount of money? You have no collateral, you have no means to pay back the loan, and your credit history is poor. You could request that a family member co-sign for you. They would share the responsibility for your debt but not solely take the blame when you default. You could simply take your lumps and try to settle your debts with the courts through time served. It isn't the ideal method but you will stay out of trouble, get free food, and a place to sleep while you contemplate how to avoid creating a situation like this again.

 

[commentator]

It is not going to make the court system you are still dealing with happy if you quit the job you have, however menial it may be. If you go in and can't pay, but you have a job and you're really trying, there might be some leniency granted. Your only good choice is just to be found doing the best you can do under the circumstances.

The only way to get out of a hole like you're in is to stop digging it deeper, and start filling it in. With all the issues and all the kinds of charges you have had, you are, quite frankly, VERY lucky you haven't spent more quality time incarcerated right now at this point. This could change for you in a very short time. Start trying to get more loans, which you unquestionably plan to default on, and next thing you know, you'll be stealing again, because according to your viewpoint, you're completely desperate and have no other choice. Since you are a church goer, I strongly suggest that you get some regular pastoral counseling, it should be free. If this person is any good, they should be able to keep your mind a little straighter than it sounds right now.

If you have any sort of addiction, drug and/or alcohol problems, I encourage you to participate in the 12 step program most appropriate for you while you are still at liberty to do so. If you do not have drug and alcohol problems, still you certainly have a money management/responsibility problem. Your story is rife with excuses and self justifications for your actions ( I wasn't told, I didn't get the message, I was so concerned about my friends......) and your life will not change until you learn to identify it when you start doing it and stop it.

Quote: "I need about $3500 if i wanna live the life of a normal 21 year old again." Uh oh. The choices you made were not those of a normal 19-20-21 year old, therefore it is not going to be possible for you to live a normal life again for quite a while. Going out and partying with friends, being worry free, travel, vacations, adventure is not in your future at least for a while. But if you start thinking that there's a fixed amount of money that you need to make your life right again, and you can't make that money by working at a regular job such as you can get... you're going to be very tempted to obtain it illegally any time you find a chance.

Thieves always have a particular mindset where they feel that they didn't have a choice, it was all right for them under the circumstances, and besides, the world owes it to them anyway, they could use a break. If you stop the pattern now, you'll eventually wear your record out, get your life back on track, and be able to move on. If you don't you stand a very good chance of re-visiting those bad places you didn't ever want to see again, and being frustrated because you can't be a normal 45 year old. Your choice.

 

[ajkroy]

::standing ovation for commentator::

 

[hobs]

::standing ovation for commentator::

Here Here !!!!!! But to be honest, I think I would have rather been punched in the face.