my ex is a felon...wants to visit child.

I recently moved from Nevada to Cali. and I have my 1year old son. His father is a fellon and so far has made no effort to contact us.His mother has called me a few times but not in about 2 weeks. I need to file for custody I know, but do I need to worry if he has a few warrents? I know they are like for minor consumption, stealing, stuff like that. He has also bragged about having warrents here in Cali too but I am not sure if he does. His mother has recently been going to anger managment classes after getting arrested for beating up her other 18 year old son. She is a single parent of the 2 boys and they all drink and do drugs. All kinds. They all live together and my babies father has no job. They are planning on moving to Cali too but I don't have there number or addresses.They do have mine.I do know he has been diagnosed with mental problems too. Loosing his temper and such. He is supposed to be taking medication but wont. What would be your advise on this situation and do you think I have a chance of getting sole custody of my child? Please help. Babies Mom

Sounds like a nice genetic make up. If you are serious about severing ties with this parolee who has outstanding warrants, I urge you to stick to your seriousness. With respect to his mental health -- or with respect to your safety, that is, as it may regard his mental health -- if he bothers you, file for a protective order. Do you know how to do this? As far as cutting ties from this bunch, I would encourage you, also, to cut all ties with his mom and not concern yourself with her problems regards anything, not even the children she beats. Stop talking to her period. If she calls back, tell her you have decided you think it's best that communication stop between you two because (lie to her if you have to) -- things are "stressful for you right now".

You do need to seek total custody of the children, in my opinion. That, I can't advise you on, though, because I don't know about custody battles. In your situation (with this father being the way he is), I would think you can probably get full custody with perhaps (perhaps) no visitation with an attorney. I would advise you to seek legal advice on the whole matter and advise the attorney you want full custody with no visitation. See what he says.

His outstanding warrants should also be of no concern to you, really. Of course -- it can be used to show his character is not fit for even visitation, along with his mental health problems and noncompliance -- but it's all pretty obvious with his incarceration history. Won't be a terrble fight, I don't think. I think it's going to be more a matter of your sticking to your guns and getting these people out of your life -- totally.

Why would you be worried, anyhow, about his warrants?

hmmbrdzz

It is not that I am really concerned with his warrents. My point is that he is going to hide now because he doesn't want to show up because of them. How am I supposed to find him when I file?? What if he doesn't respond to what I am asking for?? Does the court just give him a certain amount of time?? Will they still give him rights even if he won't show up to fight for his son?? This is the only reason I mentioned his warrents. It is not that I even care what happens to him!!! As far as his mother goes, well I guess I didn't explain that SHE more than him wants to see the child. She thinks that if she does the talking for him, she can get him visitation. I am not really worried about her problems other than the fact that She is the one who I am fighting with most and I think if there is a fight, she will try to be in the middle. As far as the guys mental state, well if he does have problems I would be concerned about him being with my child alone. Thats all.

You will not be responsible for finding him. That will be the authorities job if they're looking for him on outstanding warrants. Let him run. Get a restraining order if you want him out of your life and if he keeps showing up in it (through his mom, even). He can be ordered to cease all communication via any mean to you.
As far as the grandmother (his mom), the more you speak to her and let her into your life (even in the event of an unserved protective order), the more she may (but it's a BIG may) be able to do something on his behalf as far as visitation. Legally, she has no rights whatsoever to your child by him. None. You need to get her out of the picture if you don't want these people in your life. That is what full custody is all about. If you start sending mixed messages or half messages, he may be able to fight for vistation one day.

If you can't afford an attorney and qualify for "legal assistance" you should call for that assistance. That's why I would advise you to do with regards to all of it. An attorney would, no doubt, tell you the same -- cease all communication with this felon who's on the run -- period. And from there, the attorney would begin a custody "battle" (or whatever you want to call it). As I said, I'm not experienced in child custody, but I think I know enough to be able to safely advise you -- don't communicate with these people if you want full custody. Get a protective order if he bothers you and you don't want him to. If you're unsure about what you want to do -- don't do anything right now.

And remember this: what do you think this grandmother, who has been arrested for beating her own kids up, is going to be able to do? Nothing.



hmmbrdzz

I just went through a divorce and my ex has a record as well. He may be able to get supervised visitation. Some judges will not allow visitation if he tests positive for drugs. Grandparents DO have rights now. I just took a college course on it (Sociology of the Family). Different states have different regulations on it. But it sounds as if she won't be given rights, so I wouldn't worry about her.

Too bad you didnt ask these questions BEFORE you had unprotected sex with this guy, what caused you to throw caution and responsiblity to the wind, and have sex with a criminal?

Once we can understand how your mind works maybe we can prevent this from happening again, the children will suffer through out life, with a ex-con father, drinking drugging families....do you really want them to show up at xmas time or for your sons birthday parties....

Why didnt you just stop and think before having sex with this guy? we really want to know.


"arrested for beating up her other 18 year old son. She is
a single parent of the 2 boys and they all drink and do drugs. All kinds. They all live together
and my babies father has no job."

I do know he has been diagnosed with mental problems too. Loosing his temper and such. He is supposed to be taking medication but wont.


This is far more serious than I thought, what if he kidnaps your child? Or tortures him? or rapes him?

Since you have a very very sick family to deal with the REST of your life, you should consider giving your child up for adoption, the child would be spared this termoil and possible death.