My nephew refuses to "get it". HELP!

[gottaask]

What is the name of your state? CA

My nephew, now 18, was cited for stealing 2 colas from his school cafeteria when he was 15 years old. I found out the other day that he has not complied with any of the of the juvenile court orders. He was given a fine of $62.00, which was never paid and now is up to $400 and something. He was ordered to go to a "juvenile petty theft" class, twice a week for 4 weeks. Didn't do it. He was ordered to do 30 hours of community service. He completed 6. He was ordered to keep at least a "c" average. He dropped out of school and "is planning" on getting his GED. He cannot get his drivers license until this matter is taken care of.

Please excuse me for asking this, but my nephew doesn't seem to 'get' the picture, and the only way I can hope to get it through his head is for him to be told the score by real live attorneys.

Here's my (his) question, in my words (obviously):

Is there a snowballs chance in hell that the Hearing Officer he will go in front of (when I take him back to the court to make some type of arrangements to take care of this) will, eh hem, REDUCE the fine, and/or scrap the classes, because, "well gee Aunt Tay, it was only two cokes and anyway, it had nothing to do with driving, it was a long time ago, and that's too much money."

IAAL? HG? Would you guys PLEASE explain to my dear nephew "The Bottom Line"?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Here's the bottom line. Now that he's 18, and an "adult", he'll be spending some time in jail. Since he can't be trusted with probation, and community service, and paying fines, he'll now become a guest of the County for anywhere from 10 to 30 days.

That's how crap snowballs.

IAAL

 

[HomeGuru]

The bottom line is this loser hit rock bottom. I'll pray for him in church this Sunday.

 

[Son of Slam]

A drivers license is a privilege. You do not actually need one to drive a car. It's not like a battery or gasoline, it's only a piece of paper with your name and picture on it.

 

[krispenstpeter]

I have to strongly echo the posse. The best thing you can do for this 'child' is force him to run smack dab into reality of adulthood.

Take him to the hearing officer and when asked your input simply say, "Sir (or madame) he doesn't get it. I think it's about time he grew up into a man before the lesson he faces is his own life. He's your to do with as you believe right."

turn and then walk away.

PERIOD!

 

[Target119]

I agree, I was the same way at his age. Give him the Rope and let him hang his self with it. He thinks he knows it all and no one can tell him different, if he wants to be grown and make his own decesions let him face the music. I bet next time he will listen kindly to your advice or someone else that knows a little about the situation.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Target - -

If you're using Internet Explorer, please copy and paste the following into your browser:

http//www.iespell.com

Download IESPELL, install it, and use it.

Thank you.

IAAL

 

[ozark db]

good advice.....not

Leave him to the system to correct he will never get corrected. Tough love is not love at all and will not get his act togeher, only further ruin his life.

If you think the system can straighten him out you are not looking at reality. His only hope is from people who care about him before no one cares about him

 

[gottaask]

Thanks to all of you who took the time to reply.



Thank you for your advice, but, I'm afraid it fell on deaf ears. It seems he and his parents know more about the law than any of you.
Pretty damned amazing considering one works at a plastics factory and the other is a college student studying journalism. They seem to have a very convoluted thought process regarding this subject. It seems my nephew is exempt from any repercussions from the court since he's only 18 and hasn't been in any other trouble. Uh, H-E-L-L-O!!! HE'S ONLY 18! He hasn't been on this earth long enough to have been in any other trouble!

Hmmmm.

Do ALL parents look at the law (regarding their children) like that? With the darkest of dark blinders on?

I really want to help my nephew. Basically, he's a 'pretty good kid". But, this thing with having absolutely NO respect for the law is really baffling me. It's pretty obvious where the attitude comes from. The apple doesn't fall far . . . .

Does anyone have any suggestions of something that I, as his Aunt, can say or do? I've tried talking to his parents. I've tried talking to him. I've tried PLEADING with all of them to take this VERY seriously, to no avail. I can't stand the thought of him in jail. He's a very softspoken guy and rather introverted.

I don't want his mom, my sister, pi$$ed off at me because I'm pushing the subject. Considering the fact we were estranged for the past 2 years until a few short months ago, I feel I have to tread lightly. But, more importantly, I don't want to see my nephew continue to have this false idea that there's "no problem" if he just pays the fine. I'm afraid if he goes back before the court without even attempting to go to the classes or finish the community service that was ordered, they'll nail him to the wall.
I know if I was the judge, I would! And his parents too! I mean, afterall, if I, as a judge, ordered someone to do something, then by god . . . . they better do it, or suffer the consequences!

Whether you agree with the laws or not . . .you better have a healthy respect for it!

Any suggestions of how I can get this through their heads?????

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Any suggestions of how I can get this through their heads?????

My response:

There's nothing you can do. Most parents think their children are bulletproof and have a Teflon coating. Reality only occurs when, in court, they see their child handcuffed by the bailiff and then led through that side door of the courtroom - - on the other side of which is the "holding cell", where he'll be housed until the paperwork is finished to get him into the County jail.

If the parents think their little kiddie is going to get out of this one, they're sadly mistaken. So, why are you wasting your breath?

IAAL

 

[gottaask]

Again, you're right, IAAL

I've said my piece.

I've made my opinion known.

That's all I can do.