My son - FAILURE TO APPEAR - two charges

[luvkittykats]

What is the name of your state? AR

My son has two charges against him - one misdeameanor for minor in possession and one for burglary. These charges are from last year. To make a very long story short (or at least sort of short) - here is our dilemma:

My son (now 20) had gotten on drugs and was involved with the wrong kind of people. In September, 2004 we made the decision to send him to Alaska to stay with his paternal grandmother and his Aunt (whom he really didn't know) - we were desperate to get him away from the people he was running with and to clean him up. At the time he left he had gotten into trouble and had a court appearance for attempted burglary. He told us he did not steal anything and that he was with a guy that he did not even know. (they were in my son's vehicle is how my son is involved) He went to court three different times and each time they rescheduled. I was pretty sure they did not have any evidence on him and they could not locate the guy he was with.

Any way, he left town. He has had a hard time in Alaska. We had no idea
his Aunt’s husband was an alcoholic and got drunk a couple of times a week.
But the good news is that he is trying desperately to straighten his life out.
He has a job in Alaska and is living with his grandmother. He wants desperately to come back home.

I called to find out if they were still trying to charge him with burglary. I found out that he has a bench warrant out for his arrest for failure to appear. One is for a minor in possession – which we did not know about and also one for the burglary. I do not know what to do or who to turn to for help.

He has been through so much and I sincerely believe he has seen the error of his ways.
In my heart, I believe he needs to turn himself in - but I'm afraid for him - afraid he'll have to spend quite some time in jail. He's really doing good now - just thousands of miles away from us.

Do you have any suggestions as to what we can do for him? I have talked to the District Attorney’s office and the Public Defender’s office and all they said was to tell him to turn himself in. I did tell him to call his Public Defender and see what he has to say.

Please let me know if you have any suggestions that would help him. We
want to make the right decisions that will help my son.

Thank you.

 

[luvkittykats]

I need to also add this - to clarify things - and hopefully I'll get some good advice...

My son is thousands of miles away. A member of his late father's family paid for his airline ticket to get him to Alaska. It will take several hundred dollars just to fly him back....

Should he just stay put and hope that he'll never get stopped or anything? I just don't know what to tell him and I'm just a basket case. I know he wants to get going with his life and do good.
Will Arkansas extradite him back - go to all that cost for a case that he was just "at the wrong place at the wrong time". He did not steal anything - the person he was with is the one who was "attempting" to steal, but did not follow through. That person is no where to be found.
How long will these warrants be around? My son's aunt is the one who talked him into really leaving - she told him that after so many years, the warrants will disappear. Of course, he wanted to get away and NOT go to jail - so he let her fly him there.

I hope I get some answers... or at least good advice.... I'd really appreciate it. I'm desperate for help.

Thank you.

 

[kat30s]

As one Mom to another

I am not a lawyer, and I don't live in your state, but I will share a bit of my son's story with you........ He had bigger charges (felonies), was already on probation for another felony...... he decided to go back with the rest of my family and not go back to jail. Well now, at 21, he will have no life, because his driver's license was revoked until he answers the charges, he can never get a drivers license, he will never be able to get any job that requires a background check (he was denied a job at Sam's club), and basically never be able to advance in his life...... even if he stays off the drugs and alchohol and never gets in trouble, he will be a bag boy basically forever. I love my son with all my heart, but by allowing him to avoid these charges, all you are doing is teaching him that it's OK to avoid paying the consequences for his actions, and it's OK to avoid responsibility.....my family helped him run and have ensured he has no life. I love him, but he needs to do the right thing and turn himself in. If he gets in any trouble he is looking at 7 to 10 years in state prison.....when all he had to do was 4 months. Don't fool yourself into believing your son is innocent in all this - he knew what he was gettting into and he made the choice to be around the people he was around. Be a good mom - he needs to turn himself in and face the consequences...... if not you have taught him to do nothing but run....... best of luck.

 

[luvkittykats]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I just talked to my son today and told him I felt he needed to turn himself in for that very reason... that he would have troubles the rest of his life. But he doesn't want to go to jail - it is one of the worst in the country - which it should be. I know my son is not innocent.... and I do agree he needs to turn himself in and do the right thing. He tried to called his public defender today, but he was not in. He's going to try again tomorrow and hopefully get through. I told him to tell the PD that he was willing to do anything for a plea bargain - go to schools and talk to kids about staying out of trouble, things like that. My son was on probation twice as a juvenile and knows about community service, house arrest, all of that.
I received your reply in an email and am going to forward that to him and hopefully that will open his eyes. I'd come up with the money to fly him back - but I told him I would not be able to bail him out. He has money in savings he could use to get out (hopefully) - I know that it is 10% (normally) - I told him it would be worth it to stay in jail a few days to get this all straightened out. I just pray it won't be a longer length of time (if and when he does come back).
You are absolutely right, I need to be a good mom (which I thought I was doing by protecting him - hindsight is 20/20) and tell him he MUST turn himself in and get this over with and THEN he can go on with his life.
I wish the best of luck to your son as well and THANK YOU again for replying and telling me about him. You have really helped me tremendously.

 

[kat30s]

Glad I could help

No-one wants to go to jail..... so we don't do the things that put us there... of course you know that. He will get a much better deal if he comes home and goes straight to the police and turns himself in. The longer he waits the worse it will be for him. It's not easy to watch your child go to jail. It broke my heart.... but I would rather have had him go for the 4 months he was looking at than to face what he is now....... urge your son to do the right thing no matter what the consequences are. He will be a better person for it one day... if he chooses to learn from this!!! Again my best to you.... I'm glad my sharing helped you.

 

[luvkittykats]

I just thought of something.... should he turn himself in there in Alaska???
or turn himself in here? The reason I ask is because when I called to find out about the warrants, I was told he could turn himself in there - but that would mean AR would have to pay to extradite him back, right?
Oh I'll be glad when this is all over with.

 

[luvkittykats]

Thank you so much

Thanks again kat30s - I know he is learning from all of this... he'd better! ok, I forwarded what you said and I hope and pray that when he reads it, he will understand and do the right thing. Of course, all I can do is urge him to do it - he's a grown man now and must decide if he wants to stay on the run all his life.
I'm assuming that him coming back to AR would be the best thing and save us taxpayers money too. I don't know why that girl at the PD's office said to turn himself in there - I guess she was just doing her job and trying to get him turned in no matter where it may be.
Ok, thanks again.