• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

OP hearing - flipping out!

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

What is the name of your state? NY

I have the temp OP against my husband and the hearing is tuesday. I am confident the judge will rule my way when he hears all I have to say...thats not the problem. The problem is I'm scared to death to go. I'm afraid to talk in public...in front of all these people. To be questioned by his lawyer even my own. What if I can't say everything I need to say. What if I fall apart. I'm afraid I'm going to blow it. i don't know what to expect. Is the judge going to be understanding. Do I tell him I'm nervous? How long do I get to talk for? Everyone is going to be looking at me and I'm not going to be able to say a word. Plus, my husband of course is going to be there. I don't want to look stupid...there is so much at stake. I have my notes...and I even have a letter from our couples therapist stating that I have expressed concerned for myself and my daughter. He has seen my husbands temper as well. Will the judge even look at that?

Any thoughts or support would be great!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also,
My husband is a crackhead. Isn't that nice! I discover this becasue when he smokes there is something he does that I noticed (he doesn't realize it) and thats how I can tell he is using. This "clue" will be brought up for sure. Do I HAVE to tell? If he ends up getting visitation with my daughter this is my only clue to tell if he is using or not. Is there a way to just tell the judge and explain why I don't want to answer publicly?
 


weenor

Senior Member
justme2001 said:
What is the name of your state? NY

I have the temp OP against my husband and the hearing is tuesday. I am confident the judge will rule my way when he hears all I have to say...thats not the problem. The problem is I'm scared to death to go. I'm afraid to talk in public...in front of all these people. To be questioned by his lawyer even my own. What if I can't say everything I need to say. What if I fall apart. I'm afraid I'm going to blow it. i don't know what to expect. Is the judge going to be understanding. Do I tell him I'm nervous? How long do I get to talk for? Everyone is going to be looking at me and I'm not going to be able to say a word. Plus, my husband of course is going to be there. I don't want to look stupid...there is so much at stake. I have my notes...and I even have a letter from our couples therapist stating that I have expressed concerned for myself and my daughter. He has seen my husbands temper as well. Will the judge even look at that?

If therapists records are properly authenticated they can be admitted as evidence for the judge to consider. However, your testimony and his will primarily be what the judge considers, because you could have said anything to the therapist to "set things up". If you have time before the hearing, spend some time in any empty court room, preferrably with your lawyer asking you question. He may or may not have time, but at least familarize yourself with courthouse and you should feel more relaxed.

Any thoughts or support would be great!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also,
My husband is a crackhead. Isn't that nice! I discover this becasue when he smokes there is something he does that I noticed (he doesn't realize it) and thats how I can tell he is using. This "clue" will be brought up for sure. Do I HAVE to tell? If he ends up getting visitation with my daughter this is my only clue to tell if he is using or not. Is there a way to just tell the judge and explain why I don't want to answer publicly?
Just because you believe this is a "sign" that he is using doesn't mean the judge will consider that proof. You will likely need more to get the judge to decide he's using or even to order a drug test. Just do as your attoney tells you to.
 
Oh I know...right now there is proof and they are screening him...so that is acceptable to the court. I'm talking about for me. This clue is what made me think he was using and he did test positive 2x. Its what lead me to call someone and kick him out. I just don't want to give it up. If I didn't notice this...he would still be here...wasting my time.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
The answer to your last question is no. A FAIR trial is open AND fair to all sides. That means if you can simply wink and nod and get an order against your husband, then he should be able to do the same against you.

If you do not have definative proof of your allegations, keep your mouth shut.
 
I have more than enough to get the OP with the violence, threats and phone calls. I know the hearing is based on the petition so I guess what I'm asking is if his lawyer asks "how did you know he was using" do I have to tell them about what he did while he smoked and give away my only clue (I'd explain but it would just be too long) My concern is that if he has our daughter for a visit and I go to his apartment to pick her up...I will notice a few things and from past experience know that he's using.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
justme2001 said:
I have more than enough to get the OP with the violence, threats and phone calls. I know the hearing is based on the petition so I guess what I'm asking is if his lawyer asks "how did you know he was using" do I have to tell them about what he did while he smoked and give away my only clue (I'd explain but it would just be too long) My concern is that if he has our daughter for a visit and I go to his apartment to pick her up...I will notice a few things and from past experience know that he's using.
Of course you don't have to answer. You can commit perjury or go to jail for civil contempt until you DO answer.
 
Wait... I think you're getting the wrong idea here. I'm not looking to break the law or be difficult. If I need to answer then I'll answer. If there is a legal way not to answer that question I'd just rather not.
 

You Are Guilty

Senior Member
justme2001 said:
family court
Then don't expect much of an audience. Although open to the public, it's rare that any people not directly involved in your case would actually be present. And if you get nervous, don't worry. Just remember, the judge is naked under the robe.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
You Are Guilty said:
Then don't expect much of an audience. Although open to the public, it's rare that any people not directly involved in your case would actually be present. And if you get nervous, don't worry. Just remember, the judge is naked under the robe.
And he's carrying a Colt 45 under there :D
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top