Please help, scared and don't know where to go!

[Stonek91]

Texas/Arizona: My boyfriend has a warrant issued from Arizona, but now lives in Texas. Its from a misdemeanor for Harassment that I called in last year during a bad break up and misunderstanding. I never asked the police to arrest him though or officially claimed to be filing for harassment and was completely shocked when the police in Arizona told me they had taken him in at all in the first place. What can we do now? I do not, and never did, want him to suffer through this. Since the incident first occurred late last year me and my boyfriend had made up and he lives in Texas with me now. We only just found out he has a warrant issued and I feel like ****. It was a bad time then and he said things in the heat of the moment and now he has to suffer for it even though I never told police I wanted to charge him with anything.

What are we suppose to do now? HOw much time could he serve? He's trying so hard to pull himself back together, finding jobs and education and it's just not fair.

 

[justalayman]

well I bet there's egg on your face. You called the police to report your boyfriend harassing you but gee, who'd have thought they would take you seriously and act on your complaint. After all, you were only trying to scare him, right?


Sorry but he's going to have to face the music you wrote.

He's trying so hard to pull himself back together, finding jobs and education and it's just not fair.

what's not fair?



do you know the specific charge the warrant is based on?

 

[commentator]

What you do is deal with this. And don't let him make you the bad guy. When you are harassed, and you call in a complaint, they take it seriously, okay? They did this, and now whether you love each other dearly again or whatever, the complaint you called in is alive. They do not drop it because you want it dropped. And forget about the "its just not FAIR" bs. He did what he did. You did what you did. If you now decide to move forward, you as a couple may be able to deal with this, but can that "It's not FAIR!" crap. Either accept responsibility for what you called in and filed the complaint about ( and I will bet any amount of money he really did it) and move on, or sit there and whine and let him hold it over YOUR head that you have ruined his life. Either way, the system doesn't drop charges simply because you two had make up sex and got over the initial mess that caused the complaint. You need to use it. If he does it again, you will file again. He doesn't need to do it again. You can get through it, if it doesn't keep happening.

 

[Stonek91]

well I bet there's egg on your face. You called the police to report your boyfriend harassing you but gee, who'd have thought they would take you seriously and act on your complaint. After all, you were only trying to scare him, right?


Sorry but he's going to have to face the music you wrote.



what's not fair?



do you know the specific charge the warrant is based on?

Thanks for such kind words. I called because at the time I was scared by what he said and worried about myself and my family. Just because afterwards we worked through it does not mean I shouldve done nothing. I was looking to make him stop and to make know I wasnt playing around when I told him I wouldnt take those kind of words lightly.

Since then we have worked through things, as many people do.

I never said I was going to file charges though, they asked me if I wanted to and I declined. Thats what I dont find fair. I declined but they took him in anyway.

I dont take threats lightly and at the time it happened it was a big deal and I did what was right for the time.

They gave him a misdemeanor for harassment. Yes I feel bad, I dont feel like what I did was wrong, but of course I feel bad it happened. When it originally happened I did not have a thought in my mind that we would end up back together. Life is funny like that.

 

[Stonek91]

Also I had called them because he had made self harm comments about himself and since I lived so far away there was nothing I could do in case he meant it. I called out of fear he would do something stupid. Mental issues were a problem and since then we have been working through depression and anxiety.

I didnt only call because of threats, I called because I was scared hed hurt himself

 

[Stonek91]

What you do is deal with this. And don't let him make you the bad guy. When you are harassed, and you call in a complaint, they take it seriously, okay? They did this, and now whether you love each other dearly again or whatever, the complaint you called in is alive. They do not drop it because you want it dropped. And forget about the "its just not FAIR" bs. He did what he did. You did what you did. If you now decide to move forward, you as a couple may be able to deal with this, but can that "It's not FAIR!" crap. Either accept responsibility for what you called in and filed the complaint about ( and I will bet any amount of money he really did it) and move on, or sit there and whine and let him hold it over YOUR head that you have ruined his life. Either way, the system doesn't drop charges simply because you two had make up sex and got over the initial mess that caused the complaint. You need to use it. If he does it again, you will file again. He doesn't need to do it again. You can get through it, if it doesn't keep happening.

Maybe im just not use to cops taking things seriously then because the first time I ever called in a harrassment charge in Texas against a man that had literally threatened to kill me the cops in texas told me "Nope cant do **** unless he comes to your door step" basically.

It was a huge surprise that the cops in Arizona went so far when the cops in Texas basically laughed in my face and told me unless he had already killed me there was nothing they could do.

EDIT: Also he doesnt't ever hold it over my head and knows very well what he did and that I wasn't in the wrong to take the steps I did. He's been nothing but sorry and understanding since the incident and I just would like to help him move forward now since I put this on him. All im looking for is what to expect, what can we do, how much can we expect? How much time could he end up serving? What can I do, if anything for him

 

[justalayman]

Stonek91;3328685]Thanks for such kind words. I called because at the time I was scared by what he said and worried about myself and my family. Just because afterwards we worked through it does not mean I shouldve done nothing. I was looking to make him stop and to make know I wasnt playing around when I told him I wouldnt take those kind of words lightly.

then it sounds like there is no reason the charges should be dropped. You were serious at the time. It's like chopping somebody's hand off; you mean it at the time but later on after you settle your differences, the hand is still missing so being charged for the crime is proper.

Since then we have worked through things, as many people do.

but that doesn't "undo" the crime.

I never said I was going to file charges though, they asked me if I wanted to and I declined. Thats what I dont find fair. I declined but they took him in anyway.

well, ya see, people don't generally file charges. People file a complaint and the DA determines if charges will be filed.

what did you want them to do? Give him a firm scolding and leave? You called about a situation where you were scared so much you felt you were not safe. The police and da are acting on what you told them.

I dont take threats lightly and at the time it happened it was a big deal and I did what was right for the time.

then why are you wanting to drop the charges now? Oh, ya, everything is better now.

 

[justalayman]

Also I had called them because he had made self harm comments about himself and since I lived so far away there was nothing I could do in case he meant it. I called out of fear he would do something stupid. Mental issues were a problem and since then we have been working through depression and anxiety.

I didnt only call because of threats, I called because I was scared hed hurt himself

that is not the basis of a harassment charge.

and what happened to you were scared for yourself and your family?

 

[Stonek91]

then it sounds like there is no reason the charges should be dropped. You were serious at the time. It's like chopping somebody's hand off; you mean it at the time but later on after you settle your differences, the hand is still missing so being charged for the crime is proper.

but that doesn't "undo" the crime.

well, ya see, people don't generally file charges. People file a complaint and the DA determines if charges will be filed.

what did you want them to do? Give him a firm scolding and leave? You called about a situation where you were scared so much you felt you were not safe. The police and da are acting on what you told them.

then why are you wanting to drop the charges now? Oh, ya, everything is better now.

I didnt know, I told the cop at the time that I was scared (and I was) and that I didn't want anything horrible to happen to him, but that he had sent me a few things that had me worried and I told him I did not know what to do with it. So no I did not know, I asked a cop for help because all I knew is that something bad couldve happened and I wasnt about to stand back and let it happen. I didn't want him to hurt anybody, not me or himself.

Yes, things are better now, why is that such a horrible thing? All I want to know is what to expect and what we can do.

 

[Stonek91]

that is not the basis of a harassment charge.

and what happened to you were scared for yourself and your family?

NO no I called over BOTH things, he was sending threatening texts and self harm ones. I was worried over both and not sure what I could do since I was so far away from him. I couldnt exactly drive to his house and talk to him.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Legal advice: face the music.

If there is a warrant for his arrest, then he needs to deal with that. HE needs to retain legal council. <- Notice the pronoun. HE needs to get his act together and HE needs to create his own account here, and present his situation

You filed a complaint. It sounds like, from what you have stated, that it was a valid complaint, and that your complaint is the only evidence of anything against him. Is that correct? OR was there other supporting evidence/statements from others? In any case, the only LEGAL advice for you is, should there arise an occasion where you are asked to testify about what happened, tell the truth. Without hemming, hawing, or qualifications about how he's such a perfect lovebird now.

 

[justalayman]

Yes, things are better now, why is that such a horrible thing? All I want to know is what to expect and what we can do.

It's not a horrible thing. In fact, if you want to be with him and he has learned to control his negative behaviors, it's a great thing but it still does not "undo" the crime.


what he needs to do is hire a lawyer, in Arizona, preferably one that practices in the area of the court involved. There may be deferral programs available if he has an otherwise clean record. There may be a means to work towards there being no jail time. Hiring an attorney is the best way to deal with this.

 

[Stonek91]

Legal advice: face the music.

If there is a warrant for his arrest, then he needs to deal with that. HE needs to retain legal council. <- Notice the pronoun. HE needs to get his act together and HE needs to create his own account here, and present his situation

You filed a complaint. It sounds like, from what you have stated, that it was a valid complaint, and that your complaint is the only evidence of anything against him. Is that correct? OR was there other supporting evidence/statements from others? In any case, the only LEGAL advice for you is, should there arise an occasion where you are asked to testify about what happened, tell the truth. Without hemming, hawing, or qualifications about how he's such a perfect lovebird now.

Yes the only things were from me, I sent the cops the messages they asked for and everything and was the only voice against him. I wouldnt lie, and I understand HE needs to do it, but since he was out doing other things he needs to do I wanted to find as many answers as I could for him to help him along.

Thank you

 

[Stonek91]

It's not a horrible thing. In fact, if you want to be with him and he has learned to control his negative behaviors, it's a great thing but it still does not "undo" the crime.


what he needs to do is hire a lawyer, in Arizona, preferably one that practices in the area of the court involved. There may be deferral programs available if he has an otherwise clean record. There may be a means to work towards there being no jail time. Hiring an attorney is the best way to deal with this.

Thank you. I understand nothing can "undo" what happened, all I wanted was advice on where to go from here. Thank you. I knew he would probably need an attorney, just wasnt sure if there were things people on the internet may know better than I or him

 

[justalayman]

Thank you. I understand nothing can "undo" what happened, all I wanted was advice on where to go from here. Thank you. I knew he would probably need an attorney, just wasnt sure if there were things people on the internet may know better than I or him

It's not a matter or knowing in this sort of situation. He needs to address the matter and unless he intends on walking into a cop shop and turning himself in he needs to hire a lawyer/ He may not be able to leave the state of Arizona though once this starts.


as to the actual charge

13-2921. Harassment; classification; definition

A. A person commits harassment if, with intent to harass or with knowledge that the person is harassing another person, the person:

1. Anonymously or otherwise contacts, communicates or causes a communication with another person by verbal, electronic, mechanical, telegraphic, telephonic or written means in a manner that harasses.

2. Continues to follow another person in or about a public place for no legitimate purpose after being asked to desist.

3. Repeatedly commits an act or acts that harass another person.

4. Surveils or causes another person to surveil a person for no legitimate purpose.

5. On more than one occasion makes a false report to a law enforcement, credit or social service agency.

6. Interferes with the delivery of any public or regulated utility to a person.

B. A person commits harassment against a public officer or employee if the person, with intent to harass, files a nonconsensual lien against any public officer or employee that is not accompanied by an order or a judgment from a court of competent jurisdiction authorizing the filing of the lien or is not issued by a governmental entity or political subdivision or agency pursuant to its statutory authority, a validly licensed utility or water delivery company, a mechanics' lien claimant or an entity created under covenants, conditions, restrictions or declarations affecting real property.

C. Harassment under subsection A is a class 1 misdemeanor. Harassment under subsection B is a class 5 felony.

D. This section does not apply to an otherwise lawful demonstration, assembly or picketing.

E. For the purposes of this section, "harassment" means conduct that is directed at a specific person and that would cause a reasonable person to be seriously alarmed, annoyed or harassed and the conduct in fact seriously alarms, annoys or harasses the person.

I would presume it is the first which is a class 1 misdemeanor (the most serious level of misdemeanor).

the maximum possible (and I stress possible, . depending on a lot of things, they are often much less and there may be, as I suggested earlier, a deferral program available):

The maximum penalties are: Class 1 misdemeanor: up to $2,500.00 fine and six months in jail;