Police brutality and injustice?

[AmosMoses]

Curt,

I secreted it into the binding of a "The Men of the WWF" calendar, which I left on the counter at Jingle's Salvage Yard and Tires Mounted And Balanced While U Wait, knowing full well that Leroy could not help but to razoo it on his way home and display it proudly when he got there!

Veronica,

I am a bit like some sort of viral illness. I appear occasionally, staying until I juuuuuust about wear my welcome out, and then I disappear, only to mutate and return at some point in the future when you least expect it.....

[Shay-Pari'e]

OMG that was sooooooooooo funny.

[garrula lingua]

Amos wins !!!! That was wonderful.

[stealth2]

Bravo, Amos! That was truly inspired.

[zippysgoddess]

Amos, you are indeed talented and should write novels, I'd read them!

[mrauh1985]

Originally Posted by AmosMoses

Amosmoses, ever the cynic to some (but mere realist to his own opinion), scratches his head and ponders the situation....

Amos realizes that this could possibly have happened just as the OP stated, but he realizes that, one, the OP was merely going on the word of two arrestees (one out on $50K bail) and one 12 y/o who precipitated the entire matter, and two, that the whole thing sounds so bizarre as to be laughable. So, Amosmoses hypothesizes an alternate scenario:

Mother and 12 y/o daughter get in a heated argument because 12 y/o stole mother's quarter oz. of Thai weed (that had been hidden not-so-well in mother's goat ChiaPet) and stayed out until the wee hours of the previous morning "partying" with two 16 y/o boys from the neighborhood, Morris and Lester. Mother is in full form, screeching to the 12 y/o that "You'll be drawing retirement before you get out of your room again, young lady! And, the NEXT TIME I catch you stealing my grass, I'm gonna rip your head off and stick it......(censored)!! AND ANOTHER THING: YOU STAY AWAY FROM THOSE TWO PUNKS FROM NOW ON! THAT'S ALL I NEED... MO, LESTER AND YOU AT AN ALL NIGHT POT PARTY, WITH MY POT!!!"

Not to be outdone, the 12 y/o states, simply, "You can't tell me what to do! I'll call the cops and tell them you hit me, you %$#*&, and you'll be spending the night in jail again just like you did last time you fooled with me!"

Mother grabs a "Graceland: Home of Elvis" mug off of the shelf next to her and hurls it at the 12 y/o, barely missing the nimble girl, who quickly barks back: "YOU MISSED ME, YOU MISSED ME, NOW YA GOTTA KISS ME - RIGHT-ON-MY-$%%, YOU OLD %*&^$!!!!" Then, the 12y/o scrambles out of the room, skillfully plucking the Fingerhut 1260 phone handset from the cradle as she passes it. She bolts to the front of the trailer and bails out OVER the broken front steps, right into yard and out into the relative safety of the trailer park, screeching "YOU OLD &^%$ING &*^%$! I HATE YOU, YOU NO GOOD *&#$ING PIECE OF $%*&! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!" etcetera...

The 12 y/o, smiling, dials 9-1-1, and still a tad upset, she SCREAMS into the handset "GARBLE...SCREECH!!!, WAHHHHHHNNNN!! WAAAAHHNNNN! GARBLE SCREECH SQUARK WAHHHHNN!! WAAAAHHHNN!! SCREECH GARBLE!! ...and she HIT ME WITH A ....SCREECH! HELP ME! THAT $%#@*!!! YES! HURRY!! HURRY!!! SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!! HURRY!! 1829 Bullcod Court, Unit 32-A! HURRY!!"

Woooooooooo-Wooooooo-WOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEE, sirens blaring, both EMS and two radio cars are dispatched to Bullcod Court, and in 4.5 minutes they arrive, like the calvary, wending their way down the lane, driving around two Big Wheels, a broken barstool, a bag of dirty diapers and a broken Ernest and Julio Gallo gallon jug, JUST LIKE the pylons in their defensive driving certification course! Proudly, they slide into slot #32-A, ready, willing and able to quell whatever disturbance is in progress, hoping to be in time to save the obviously distraught young caller.

Mother, hearing the gravel fly into the side of the trailer, sidles up to the front door (now hanging off of one hinge) and leans against the doorjamb, crossing her arms defiantly in front of her chest and drawing deep on her Virginia Slim Ultra Menthol Lite, smoke curling upward toward her half closed left eye, she screams, "WHAT IN THE GD H$%# DO YOU B@$T@RD$ WANT?! WHY DON'T YOU GO ARREST SOME REAL CRIMINALS AND LEAVE US ALONE?!"

Two officers get out of their vehicle, preceding EMS, and calmly state "I'm sorry, ma'am, but we received a 9-1-1 emergency call from this residence, and although unable to ascertain exactly what was going on, 911 dispatch felt sure that there was a disturbance, with injuries, here."

"THE ONLY DISTURBANCE HERE IS YOU STUPID SONSAB&^%#E$ IN MAH YARD!! NOW GET THE GD H$^% OFFA MY PROPITTY!!!" Mother barks, spinning around and running inside toward her other stash, fearful that the officers may find the 12 Valium and 40 Soma that she has tucked safely behind the Dollywood commemorative spice collection rack on the kitchen wall. However, as luck would have it, she tripped over that "old stupid GD rockin' chair" that her husband, Leroy, brought in from his job at Jingle's Salvage Yard and Tires Mounted And Balanced While U Wait. Cracking her shin on the chair and cracking the chair and the same time, she screams "WELL &*^&T*% *^% #@^ ^%*&^!! ^(%$#@ ^%###&! SCHREECH SQUAWK!! **&%$ !! ^$#^#^+(&!!"

The officers and EMS personnel, hearing the disturbance, run inside to help the poor woman. She spins around, grimacing and screaming what are by now only animal-like, gutteral noises, clawing and scratching at them, swearing that she is "gonna RIP OUT THIER GD EYES AN' SHOVE 'EM ....(censored...again)".

The 12 y/o, having copped a quick smoke and a feel with Mo behind Leroy's old broken down 1988 Chevy truck that's sitting on blocks behind the trailer, hears the commotion and runs around front only to see THE ENEMY, TWO CARLOADS A' NO-GOOD PIGS!!! She runs inside and jumps on the nearest officer's back, reaching around his face and trying to claw his eyes out. Mother REALLY joins into the fray now, and she turns into something akin to the Tasmanian Devil of cartoon lore....like a tornado, she plows into both officers and the EMS personnel, scratching, kicking, screaming, cursing and hurling epithets and flecks of spit. She cusses everyone in sight and lets the officers KNOW what the opinion of law enforcement is over here on Bullcod Court! Finally, however, she begins to tire, and just as the officers are about to get her under control and cuffed, Leroy drives up, having heard about the ruckus all the way down at Jingle's Salvage Yard and Tires Mounted And Balanced While U Wait.

Smoke boiling out of the tail pipe of his 1984 station wagon, Leroy arrives to save the day, trotting inside and telling the officers to "GET THE HAIL OUTTA MAH HOUSE!!! YOU AIN'T GOT NO BIDNESS UP IN HERE!!" Leroy, though, having done 2 to 5 in the can for aggravated assault in the past, realizes the wisdom of keeping his hands off of the police, and his threats veiled. He can't resist one last jab, however, as the officers are arresting Mother for resisting: He barks "You c'n jus' bet that ah'll be a'seein' BOTH uh you sonsab&^%&#$ again, and it ain't a gonna be nothin' nice when ah do! I KNOW whar both uh you AND YOUR FAMILIES live!!" The law enforcement officers cast a knowing glance at each other...they know that they will both be "a seein' Leroy ag'in", no doubt, but it won't be in the scenario that Leroy laid out!

So, Mother gets arrested, and the 12y/o and Leroy pile into the aged Woody and drive down to the lockup to pick up Mom, who has by now calmed down a bit. With Mom released on $50,000.00 bail, they all gather in the old car for the ride home, taking advantage of the time in the car to get their story straight. (Of course, Amosmoses sees no need to repeat this story, as the readers have all had a chance to review it for themselves in the original post). Almost home, however, Leroy sees those flashing red lights, and cursing and spitting, he pulls over. After being cited for driving without a license, driving without insurance, driving left of center, missing headlamp, missing tail light, misdemeanor possession of marijuana and possession of opossum out of season, Leroy, along with the fambly, walks home whilst the Woody is towed to the impound lot, coincidentally contracted by and located on the grounds of Jingle's Salvage Yard and Tires Mounted And Balanced While U Wait.

Arriving back home and encouraged by the neighbors over on Bullcod Court, the fambly decides to contact the firm of Shyster, Conniver and Flimflam, which is pretty easy to do considering that the Mother-in-law of Mr. Sneekin Conniver, Esq, lives in Bullcod Court! Although officially members of the California Bar, Shyster, Conniver and Flimflam are, well, let's just say somewhat of "outcasts" in the local legal community. Some may say it is because of their shameless solicitation and ambulance chasing, but true believers know that it is simply jealousy on the part of all the other lawyers in the area!

As we near the end of Amosmoses' hypothesized version of this incident, Amos would close with speculation that it was decided by the fambly that the most educated of the fambly, Melissa, would be tapped to do a little research on the 'Net just in case the story needed a little tweaking before it was officially testified to on the record. So, peering through half closed, heavy lidded and reefer fogged eyes, Melissa locates a free legal advice forum and pecks out the tentative version.

Amosmoses decides that his version is quike likely at the very least as probable to be factual as the original post is, but he asks the other readers to vote as to what they think....whose version do they more likely assess as factual....that laid out by the OP, or that as opined by Amos...and he thereby requests a vote!

Chuckling ever so slightly, Amosmoses reaches down and fingers his trackpad until the cursor hovers over the "Submit Reply" button... and then...he clicks it, his chuckle growing to a full fledged Mwaaahaaaa haaa haaaa! MWWWAAAAAHAAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAA. HHHAAAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA!! MMHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAA HAAAA!

i find this very disturbing, i am a young girl who has a serious issue that she doesnt want to deal with and you buffoons make it a joke, f**K this ridiculous site

[AmosMoses]

mrauh,

I am so very sorry that you did not like my reply. Well, let me make it up to you by generating another response for you. Now, I may need just a teeny little bit of help from you in coming up with another reply, so please do a favor for me......please, would you, uhhhh, well**************.

PULL MY FINGER!!!!

HAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAA HAAA HA! AHHHHAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAA HA!

[AmosMoses]

B-r-r-rrr-rrr-RRRRR-RRRRRR-R-R-RRRRTTTT!!!

Did THAT clear the air a bit for ya?!??!

[outonbail]

I'm sure she's grateful more than you'll ever know. I believe it was upwards of 104 degrees in Hemet today, so I'm confident your plenteous breeze was as refreshing as it was welcome!

I do however, have a question or two regarding composition,,,, While it’s rather obvious that your impressive execution was launched by way of your right index finger, I’m having trouble identifying some of the ingratiatory enhancements. So, I was hoping you could once again, clear the air of any misconceptions I might have.

I recognized the eggs immediately and the beans stood out as expected, (although a tad overcooked for my liking) but this is where your aromatize surprise has me stumped.

So, would that be cabbage I’m recognizing in your diet? Perhaps with a splash of oatmeal and a hint of sharp cheddar?

I hope I’m not getting too personal, but I’m sort of a connoisseur for the stand out bouquet,,,,,,,,,,,,

[AmosMoses]

I don't usually give out that sort of information, but in your case I'll make an exception....just this once.

There is a little known species of pinto bean, Flatus leguminacea, very high in undigestable fiber and inocluated with an extremely aggressive carbohydrate attacking bacteria, originally developed by a Russian scientist who was attempting to produce enough methane from the average human, daily, to light a 100 watt light bulb for 8 hours. When this scientist was sent to a Siberian forced labor camp for his part in accidentally blowing up two barracks full of young Red Army recruits, the genome of the hybridized SuperPintos went with him. I am not at liberty to explain exactly how (due to certain military restrictions, this information is highly classified) but I have come into possession of a small quantity of said bean, and I have resumed the good doctor's work.

I wish that I could be more forthcoming in this matter, as I can tell that you are, in fact, quite the conniseur. Maybe in the coming years I will be able to go into more detail with you, but, alas, at this point in time I may very well have already overstepped my bounds with the information I have just divulged to you.

[mrauh1985]

this site is a joke, screw all you losers...and to think i thought there where some decent human beings...sheesh what a joke

[Shay-Pari'e]

[quote=mrauh1985]this site is a joke, screw all you losers...and to think i thought there where some decent human beings...sheesh what a joke

LOL, umm**************......maybe you should read your own post again. Now that is a looser of a family.

[CdwJava]

Originally Posted by mrauh1985

this site is a joke, screw all you losers...and to think i thought there where some decent human beings...sheesh what a joke

Well, I posted some observationsand some queries. Without additional information, its impossible to seriously answer your question.

If you want someone to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you and say, "Yeah! It was wrong!" then you came to the wrong place. But, if you'd come back with some pertinent information, that might be helpful.

Just try to look past the sideline entertainment.

- Carl

[AmosMoses]

i find this very disturbing, i am a young girl who has a serious issue that she doesnt want to deal with and you buffoons make it a joke, f**K this ridiculous site

mrauh (I'm raw????),

Quit wahhhh wahhhning about people cracking jokes concerning your obviously self-serving post. If you want true, honest help, it's here to be had if you are forthcoming with what happened, which is EXACTLY what I told you to start with. Absent some serious clarification and a big touch of reality to your story, consider yourself lucky that you got the replies that you did.

Hugs and kisses,

Amos

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by mrauh1985

this site is a joke, screw all you losers...and to think i thought there where some decent human beings...sheesh what a joke

mrauh.....There are very decent humans on this site...with amazing writing abilities (good one amos) , but your story just doesn't make sense!
These people donate their time and knowledge for others and when someone writes a post with sooooo much left out...well...they have fun with it! Personally... I would like to know why 50,000K in bail??
Talk with the 12year old and get some more info...and get the report from the police...details! details! details! Good luck...