Private autopsie and police

[Miadora]

No one is under any legal obligation to heed your paid pathologist's opinions at all.

As I have repeatedly mentioned,you cannot force anyone to do anything here. You can stomp your feet and hold your breath, but that's about it.

If you feel you have enough to identify someone who is responsible for the theft or death, you can sue them if you have standing. Maybe you can also bring your proof to the media and see if anyone there will help you rattle some cages. But,ultimately, you cannot force anyone to investigate this as a homicide.

I guess it's time to seek a private detective. I know, as you have repeatedly mentioned, he would not be able to make an arrest or force police to do anything, but if he does uncover some proof or damning info from someone that he interviews, maybe next step is media.

 

[justalayman]

Your father's death is not an episode of Quincy ME (and that isn't a reference to our Quincy here).



But even with that;

Have you spoken directly with the prosecutors office?

 

[Miadora]

I guess it's time to seek a private detective. I know, as you have repeatedly mentioned, he would not be able to make an arrest or force police to do anything, but if he does uncover some proof or damning info from someone that he interviews, maybe next step is media.

Unfortunately for police We are not going to stop until we get to bottom of who killed him. We will use the money he left to pay for lawyer and private detective.

 

[Zigner]

We will use the money he left to pay for lawyer and private detective.

I have to ask...is that really what your father would have wanted?

 

[Miadora]

Your father's death is not an episode of Quincy ME (and that isn't a reference to our Quincy here).



But even with that;

Have you spoken directly with the prosecutors office?

Yes. I don't know exactly how it works but looks like they are leaving it hands of local police. And they say they it was a slap in the face to them that I did that. The lead detective (really my only contact) was on vacation when I got autopsy report and also more info so I went to prosecutor. I didn't tell them everything about the sloppy investigation so all they know is that I want death investigated as more than a fraud/theft case but sounds like they just think we're nuts. Said local police is capable of handling case. I don't know what role of any they will play.

 

[Miadora]

I have to ask...is that really what your father would have wanted?

If he was murdered it is the only right thing to do. No one in charge is willing to help so we have no choice. They haven't even have decency to return to his house to give it a second look.

 

[CTU]

It's high time this thread was closed; the OP doesn't want to consider anything other than her own opinion, despite the probability that she's causing herself more stress and sadness in the long term.

 

[Miadora]

Fine with me. No one here seems to even entertain that foul play was involved or even police mishandling of situation. Thanks anyway. I guess learned what I already knew... I have an uphill battle and its exceedingly difficult to fight city hall.

 

[HighwayMan]

No one here seems to even entertain that foul play was involved...

It doesn't matter what we think. All that matters is what the investigating police agency thinks.

I'm not that familiar with NJ, but maybe you should consider speaking to an investigator at the county level if the county in question has a police or sheriff's department.

 

[Miadora]

Sorry I guess I was looking for an unbiased opinion and probably got it but I guess if you arent me and weren't in the house to find body in such strange position and all the other stuff then things can be explained away. Just drives me crazy that someone knew they did something so wrong that they went Into house and removed evidence (cigarette butts that have DNA)

 

[Miadora]

If he wasn't robbed, didn't have blunt defensive injuries, and evidence taken, and head face down, pushed into couch, broken glasses still on and not my father..... Maybe I would let it rest.

 

[cbg]

I have stayed out of this thread until now, but I'm going to say this.

You are not looking for an unbiased opinion. You've got six pages of unbiased opinions, all of whom say that if there were sufficient evidence to support your theory, you would not have to be making these arguments because if there were sufficient evidence, the police WOULD investigate further. The fact that they are not, shows that there is NOT sufficient evidence to support a claim of murder.

The fact that six pages later you are still telling all the unbiased opinions that they are wrong, says that you don't want unbiased opinions, you want someone to agree with you.

I think we all understand that you are grieving and upset and want what you perceive to be justice - someone has to be punished for your father's death. No one blames you for that. But there is going to have to come a time when you accept that if there were enough evidence to charge someone, someone would be charged. No one in law enforcement, not the police and not the DA, wants to let serious crimes go unpunished. But they can't make bricks out of straw, and they don't have either the time or the money to be putting all their resources into your father's case when there isn't sufficient evidence to charge someone or enough to work with to create new straws to make bricks with. There are other crimes, and other fathers, and other families. They deserve a share of the police's time, too - it can't all go to you and yours.

You have my sincere sympathies on your loss. But, and I say this out of kindness, not rudeness; it's time for you to let go.

 

[CdwJava]

I just want to add that I have seen and dealt with family members, such as yourself, who believe that malfeasance occurred in the death of their loved one. In all of those cases where the family disagreed with the police, the facts bore out the police interpretation. That does not mean that it is true in your case, but, the one thing I have learned is that what many family members see as "evidence" really is no such thing.

Something that shows that something MIGHT have happened can just as easily show that something might NOT have happened. The physical evidence may point in two or more directions, and since his physician appeared to be willing to sign a death certificate,proving homicide will be a terrible and uphill battle.

Theft does not mean murder or robbery. It means,theft. Using bank cards belonging to the deceased does not mean the user(s) killed the owner, only that they possessed and used the cards. How they got the cards is a good question to ask, but without a determination of homicide, about all they can look at is theft. That investigation may uncover some additional evidence that COULD lead to an opening of the case as a homicide. But, there is no guarantee.

As one last option, you might contact the coroner's office and see if they can open a coroner's inquest. If the process is similar to what it is here, this might be possible with the private autopsy report. This process COULD force a change in the determination of death to something else. However, even if a homicide, there is no guarantee that the police will ever be able to identify a suspect even if they do conduct an active investigation.

 

[CTU]

Fine with me. No one here seems to even entertain that foul play was involved or even police mishandling of situation. Thanks anyway. I guess learned what I already knew... I have an uphill battle and its exceedingly difficult to fight city hall.

Miadora, please take this in the manner in which it's intended.

You are very raw, and very hurt, and you're very wounded both emotionally and psychologically. What has happened is not going to leave you any time soon, and grief is a bitch who sometimes wears heels before she kicks you in the stomach without warning. But grieving takes time and it takes effort and patience. You have to allow grief to be that unwelcome guest, the one who never seems to know when to leave you alone and stops by at the most inopportune times.

Nothing that has happened, or will happen, will ever change how you feel and felt about your loved one and nor should it. The urge to know just what happened is natural and it absolutely does not mean that you're doing something wrong. You're not. And there will come a time when you realize that "Holy *#&$ ... I didn't cry for two hours today. How did THAT happen?!" And you start to notice the leaves on the trees again.

Pay attention to yourself. Your grief, your mourning, they are yours and only you can manage them. People say that time heals all wounds. Well, not really ... what happens is that we learn to recognize that the wound is no longer raw. It's still there but the pain does diminish, until you realize that you're living, laughing and loving again and you can do so without regret. You'll still tear up at times and you'll still yell at him because ... well, just because!

So let grief do her thing ... and you'll find your new normal.

Wishing you peace.

(And never forget that we grieve so hard, because we love so hard)

 

[Miadora]

Thank you.