shoplifting

[sorry]

Can a store/retailer press charges for shoplifting after the fact? Meaning after you get 'away' with it. Meaning they never tried to stop you when you left the store. For example, if later that night they are reviewing the cameras they see you do it and by then you are long gone. If they figure out who you are can they come after you at home later? I am asking because my teenage daughter stole something and broke down to me about it. I know she is so remorseful that she'll never do it again. I just am worried they'll come after her if they look at their cameras later. What should we do? Of course if you say they can't come after her 'after the fact' I am not going to tell her that. I want her to believe she's in big trouble for this. Thanks!

 

[seniorjudge]

Can a store/retailer press charges for shoplifting after the fact? Meaning after you get 'away' with it. Meaning they never tried to stop you when you left the store. For example, if later that night they are reviewing the cameras they see you do it and by then you are long gone. If they figure out who you are can they come after you at home later? I am asking because my teenage daughter stole something and broke down to me about it. I know she is so remorseful that she'll never do it again. I just am worried they'll come after her if they look at their cameras later. What should we do? Of course if you say they can't come after her 'after the fact' I am not going to tell her that. I want her to believe she's in big trouble for this. Thanks!

Q: Can a store/retailer press charges for shoplifting after the fact?

A: Yes; all crimes are charged after the fact.


Q: Meaning after you get 'away' with it. Meaning they never tried to stop you when you left the store. For example, if later that night they are reviewing the cameras they see you do it and by then you are long gone. If they figure out who you are can they come after you at home later?

A: Yes.


Q: I am asking because my teenage daughter stole something and broke down to me about it. I know she is so remorseful that she'll never do it again. I just am worried they'll come after her if they look at their cameras later. What should we do?

A: Well, let's start with what the store manager said after you marched her back in there and made her return whatever it is. Let's talk about that, okay?


Q: Of course if you say they can't come after her 'after the fact' I am not going to tell her that. I want her to believe she's in big trouble for this. Thanks!

A: If you really want her to understand what she has done is wrong, take away everything electronic (cell phone, television, computer, etc.) and start dressing her in Goodwill clothes. She is headed for big trouble....

 

[sorry]

Ok you are right. I will have her go back to the store to return the item or she'll never learn the lesson. (I did take it away from her immediately). What if she is not honest with me and has not told me about other things that she has stolen from stores. How long is the statue of limitations on them coming to the door? Now I am going to be sick with worry that they'll be a knock at the door and she'll be arrested (not that she doesn't deserve it--but she is my child). I already made an appt. with a therapist for her to talk about this.

PS the state is NJ

 

[ILGrandma]

By example?

Can a store/retailer press charges for shoplifting after the fact? Meaning after you get 'away' with it. Meaning they never tried to stop you when you left the store. For example, if later that night they are reviewing the cameras they see you do it and by then you are long gone. If they figure out who you are can they come after you at home later? I am asking because my teenage daughter stole something and broke down to me about it. I know she is so remorseful that she'll never do it again. I just am worried they'll come after her if they look at their cameras later. What should we do? Of course if you say they can't come after her 'after the fact' I am not going to tell her that. I want her to believe she's in big trouble for this. Thanks!

What message would you be sending to your daughter about responsibility and character and right from wrong if you just sat back and worried and fretted and did nothing more? Don't let a guilty conscience or fear be your only guide in what to do. Let setting a good example and accepting responsibility for ones actions be your guide. Take your daughter immediately to the store, ask for the manager, make YOUR daughter, not you, tell them what she did and have HER return the merchandise. If they choose to press charges, then so be it. I promise you in the end it will make your daughter a stronger and more responsible person as she progresses into adulthood. You also need to be asking yourself who she runs with and do some serious "parental observing, aka "sneaking", at what she does when she is away from home with her friends. Now that this has been brought to your attention and made your heart hurt, you have a warning sign that you need to start looking very closely at friends and activities of your daughter. Use common sense, but be objective and keep your perspective on target. One of the hardest things will be forcing yourself to look at things without wearing rose colored glasses. Not an easy thing for any parent to do, I know, I have walked that road.

My daughter at age 16 "took" money from a cash register while she was an employee in a grocery store, along with 2 other friends. It amounted to about $60, but it could have been 6 cents for all I cared, it was wrong. When I found out about it, I first went to the homes of the other 2 girls (her best friends) and told the parents I knew what the girls had done and I was going to the manager and turning my daughter in. It seemed highly probable all the girls names would end up coming to light and I was warning the parents of my intentions. The other parents told me I was crazy and a horrible parent for turning my own child in.

I took my daughter to the store, and she and I went into his office. My daughter in tears and shaking told him what she had done. I think the poor man was in shock at her admission and confession. She handed him the money she had taken with a very sincere apology. I then told him if he wished to press charges that I would understand. He opted instead to fire her and since she came to him, he chose to accept her apology and the return of the cash and do nothing more. Three days later, the other 2 girls were arrested. Seems as though they had been caught on camera stealing money from the register. Of course their parents were of the "oh poor me how could this happen" attitude. Who was the crazy and horrible parent now?

I will try and be very brief with this last one. I am just trying to help you understand that the way you handle this situation now could greatly impact your daughters future for many years. When my daughter, yep same one, was in college and pledging a sorority, I warned her of the dangers of hazing and to no way take part in it. Short version, she did anyway. She was in college in IL and we lived in TN. I received a late night call one night from a friend and sorority sister of my daughter telling me she had found my daughter unconscious outside her dorm and had taken her to the ER, where she was being treated. I called the ER and spoke with the doctor treating my daughter. She was bordering on alcohol poisoning. Many phone calls were made that night by me. I called the bar and spoke with the barmaid who served her, the owner of the bar, the "big sister" in the sorority who was in charge of my daughters initiation, and my last and longest call was to the police department. I told them where my daughter was and why and what led up to her being there. I insisted they take action against all parties involved. They did!

My daughter ended up being charged with underage drinking, received a fine and a HUGE lesson! The bar lost its license temporarily, the "big sister" was removed from the sorority, the Dean shut the sorority down to any new pledges until all current members had graduated, and the barmaid was given a huge fine.

I failed to mention what my daughter does now for a living. She is 31 and changed her major during college. In 4 years she graduated from a small, private college in Central Illinois with a double major. Those being Criminal Justice and Psychology. For the past 7 years she has worked as a Juvenile Probation Officer in the Chicago area and has been given several commendations and awards from her peers and Judges in the court system. She has excelled in her field and has created many documents now used by the court in her county. She has thanked me many times for being such a horrible and crazy parent.... We are also best friends.

Help your daughter by doing the right thing. Be there for her, but she must be responsible for her actions and you must never close your eyes to what is happening in her life.

Best of luck to you and my heart goes out to you for the pain and anger I know you are feeling right now. Do the right thing and one day she will make you proud for the actions you do now.