should I hire an attorney

[phatina]

What is the name of your state? Ga
My fiance and I have been together for 10 yrs, but just got engaged last year. Soon after the engagement, I found out that he had cheated and gotten another woman pregnant. It devastated me, however, after lots of praying careful consideration, I decided to forgive him and take him back. He's helped me raise my 2 children from a previous marriage. So I felt the need to keep our family together. Anyway, he wasn't sure the baby was his - it was a one night stand the the girl has slept with all his friends and cousins. Once she realized that I was going to stick with him through thick and thin, she denied him a paternity test until the baby was almost 6 mos old. Since the paternity has been confirmed, she still won't allow him access to the baby and has filed child abandonment charges on him and applied for a restraining order for me. The paper work says that I am being charged with harassing phone calls. I called her phone on the day that I found out she was pregnant - over a year ago. However, I have NEVER threatened her in any way. And, a couple of weeks ago, I sent her a letter basically telling her that we should put all the name calling, vengefulness, etc to the side because, like it or not, we're all family. I tried to be the bigger person (by the way the girl is 16 yrs YOUNGER than my fiance and I), and let her know that I am not trying to go to battle with her. That I'd already forgiven both of them for what happened, and had accepted God's will of bringing this baby girl into existence. I've never caller her out her name, disrespected her, etc. Matter of fact, I only met her for the first time on the day that the DNA test was done. So, I've concluded that she's attempting to get a restraining order on me because I think she realizes that her plan to be with my fiance has back fired on her and she realizes that I will be apart of her daughter's life, since my fiance and i will be getting married soon. I go to court in 2 days to answer the harrassing phone call charges, at the same time, he'll be in court on the child abandonment charges - which i don't see how they'll stick since he only confirmed the paternity less than 6 wks ago and she hasn't answered any phone calls since then. Is this something that I need to retain an attorney for? She has no proof because there is none. I plan to bring the letter that I wrote to her as evidence of my extension of the olive branch, but I want to make sure that I'm not being naive about the procedure of the hearing. Can anyone advise? Much appreciation

 

[outonbail]

I'm confused, are you going to court to argue against the restraining order she has filed for, or are you going to criminal court to plead on criminal charges that have been filed on you by the DA?

 

[phatina]

I'm going to court for the hearing regarding the arrest warrant that she is requesting, claiming that I have been making harassing calls to her.

 

[outonbail]

I'm going to court for the hearing regarding the arrest warrant that she is requesting, claiming that I have been making harassing calls to her.

I'm still not clear on what it is your going to court for. If a crime has been committed against someone and that person contacts the police they would come out and investigate. Then they would file a report with the DA's office, who would in turn, look at the evidence in the police report and determine if they could win a conviction and if so, they file the case and request the arrest warrant. I've never heard of them calling both parties into court to determine if charges should be filed in a criminal matter.

How were you notified about these court proceedings? Were you issued a citation, or did you receive a summons in the mail, possibly certified, as in you had to sign for it?

This is not some sort of mediation with all parties is it?

If you received a summons with a case number on it which demands your appearance and advises that failure to appear on such and such a date will result in a bench warrant being issued for your arrest, then I would say yes, you need an attorney to represent you. If for no other reason than to translate what it is your facing, because it sounds to me like the DA has already filed a case against you and you will be arraigned when you appear in court on the date specified.
If so, the judge will ask you if you are pleading guilty or not guilty to the charges. You will not be explaining the situation or providing your rendition of what this revolves around or providing any letters or evidence to the judge at this time, you will only be pleading guilty or not guilty. Then you will be asked if you can afford an attorney and possibly asked to fill out a financial statement to see if you qualify for a public defender. Then you will be given another court date to appear on.

So, how were you informed and/or requested to appear in court on this matter?

 

[phatina]

this is a hearing to determine if a crime has been committed. i guess. she went to the courthouse and filled out an application for a warrant for my arrest, claiming that i have been making harassing phone calls to her. i am very confident that this will be thrown out of court because i have not made ANY calls to her at all. at the same date and time that i am supposed to appear in court, my fiance has to appear in the same courtroom, because applied for a warrant for his arrest on charges on child abandonment. i talked to the county clerk today and she advised me to let the judge know that our cases are related so that he will hear them both at the same time. my fiance can't be charged with child abandonment because he just confirmed the babys' paternity 6 wks ago. and i can't be charged with harassing phone calls because i haven't made ANY phone calls to her at all. however, i don't want to be totally naive in this situation and go into this hearing unprepared. my fiance and i are anticipating both cases being thrown out, and at the same time, he will file legitimization and visitation for his baby girl. is it necessary to hire an attorney for this?

 

[outonbail]

this is a hearing to determine if a crime has been committed.

Georgia must be real nice to the suspects in criminal cases, if they invite them to a hearing to ask them if they've committed a crime or not. I wonder when California will start doing this?

i guess. she went to the courthouse and filled out an application for a warrant for my arrest, claiming that i have been making harassing phone calls to her.

I hope California doesn't follow along with this process. I'd hate to think what would happen if the courts in California started handing out applications the general public can fill out to have an arrest warrant issued against someone they think wronged them. Then again, I can think of a couple people who I think need to be arrested,,,, I'll have to look into picking me up some of these applications myself!

i am very confident that this will be thrown out of court because i have not made ANY calls to her at all.

I don't share the same confidence in you even understanding what it is you're walking into.

at the same date and time that i am supposed to appear in court, my fiance has to appear in the same courtroom, because applied for a warrant for his arrest on charges on child abandonment.

Now you see what I mean about handing out these applications for an arrest warrant, some people are just bound to abuse having personal access to such power.

i talked to the county clerk today and she advised me to let the judge know that our cases are related so that he will hear them both at the same time.

Aha! It finally slipped out! I knew it would, it's just a matter of time. So your cases are related! As in there is already a case filed and on calender, so my guess is that you will be appearing at the arraignment to plead guilty or not guilty.

my fiance can't be charged with child abandonment because he just confirmed the babys' paternity 6 wks ago.

That's six weeks of child support that he hasn't paid on top of whatever amount he is responsible for prior to his having the DNA testing confirm her claim that he is the father. Lets see, I believe you said that was six months correct? If he's ordered to pay lets say two hundred dollars a week, then he's in arrears for roughly $6,000.00 already. If he hasn't made any attempts to see the child or petitioned the courts to enforce his rights to see and help raise the child, then I can see where his position with this child can be considered abandonment.

and i can't be charged with harassing phone calls because i haven't made ANY phone calls to her at all. however, i don't want to be totally naive in this situation and go into this hearing unprepared. my fiance and i are anticipating both cases being thrown out

I don't know why, if they were that weak I don't believe the DA would have filed them.

and at the same time, he will file legitimization and visitation for his baby girl.

This is kind of like stepping up to bat after the third out in the bottom of the ninth and expecting the team to pat you on the back for doing what he should have done in the top of the first.

is it necessary to hire an attorney for this?

I would strongly recommend doing this. However, you could wait and see what comes out of this hearing or arraignment. But I wouldn't be stating my case to a Judge without the aid of an attorney who knows what should be said and more importantly, what should not be said in open court. For example, telling the judge that it's only been six weeks since paternity has been confirmed, is not a very good defense. After all, how long does it take to start doing what's right? Why is your husband or boyfriend or whatever the heck he is only filing for visitation now that the case is going before the court and only because of an action filed by the mother? If she didn't file this claim, when was he planning on finally doing what he now claims he will do, when he's standing before a judge. He won't have any choice in the matter now, so the courts are not going to look at him as if he's taking the responsibility on his own. Believe me, he is being forced into doing this and I know this is not what you want to hear and is not what you want to believe, but to claim the mother wouldn't let him only means that he is the one who should have been approaching the courts to have his parental rights enforced. In my opinion, your fooling yourselves if you believe the courts will see it any other way.
Good luck!

 

[CourtClerk]

First you said...

I called her phone on the day that I found out she was pregnant

Then you said...

i am very confident that this will be thrown out of court because i have not made ANY calls to her at all.

Isn't the above admitting that you made at least 1 phone call to her... even though you've stated twice that you haven't made ANY phone calls. Your first post seems to indicate that your subsequent denials aren't true... besides, I'm a woman and I don't believe you.

 

[CourtClerk]

What is the name of your state? Ga
My fiance and I have been together for 10 yrs, but just got engaged last year. Soon after the engagement, I found out that he had cheated and gotten another woman pregnant. It devastated me, however, after lots of praying careful consideration, I decided to forgive him and take him back. He's helped me raise my 2 children from a previous marriage. So I felt the need to keep our family together.

Correction...for the record you guys don't really have a family. This is your boyfriend, one, might I add that had no issues sticking it somewhere else.

Anyway, he wasn't sure the baby was his - it was a one night stand

That's what he told YOU

the the girl has slept with all his friends and cousins.

Again, I'm sure he told you this to make you feel better, but how nasty is he to sleep with someone that is sleeping with everyone else??? Makes him look worse than her.

Once she realized that I was going to stick with him through thick and thin, she denied him a paternity test until the baby was almost 6 mos old.

If she's sleeping with everyone else, what does she care what he's doing with you.
She's got the cousins and friends...remember? You got to think a little bit honey...

Since the paternity has been confirmed, she still won't allow him access to the baby and has filed child abandonment charges on him and applied for a restraining order for me.

If there is no custody order, she can deny him all she wants.

The paper work says that I am being charged with harassing phone calls. I called her phone on the day that I found out she was pregnant - over a year ago.

What are you calling HER for? This was your first mistake. Well maybe not your first, but this was one of many...

However, I have NEVER threatened her in any way.

Uh huh...I bet she has a different story.

And, a couple of weeks ago, I sent her a letter basically telling her that we should put all the name calling, vengefulness, etc to the side because, like it or not, we're all family.

WRONG... you are not family to that child. You are her father's girlfriend. Nothing more, nothing less until the time you marry dad. Then you are daddy's wife. Still a legal stranger to kiddo.

I tried to be the bigger person

How? By calling and writing someone you had no business? Ok...

(by the way the girl is 16 yrs YOUNGER than my fiance and I),

and he slept with her anyway. Your point is???

and let her know that I am not trying to go to battle with her.

You are so far removed from this situation it's not even funny. You shouldn't battle with her. It's not your battle at all. In fact...none of this is your business.

That I'd already forgiven both of them for what happened, and had accepted God's will of bringing this baby girl into existence.

Forgiven her for what? She didn't need, nor do I think she asked for your forgiveness. She didn't have a committment to you... talk to your boyfriend about that.


I've never caller her out her name, disrespected her, etc. Matter of fact, I only met her for the first time on the day that the DNA test was done. So, I've concluded that she's attempting to get a restraining order on me because I think she realizes that her plan to be with my fiance has back fired on her and she realizes that I will be apart of her daughter's life, since my fiance and i will be getting married soon.

And I've concluded that she's probably trying to get a restraining order against you because you are calling her and writing her and she doesn't want to be bothered with YOU. These are issues for the mother and father of this child. You are neither.

I go to court in 2 days to answer the harrassing phone call charges, at the same time, he'll be in court on the child abandonment charges - which i don't see how they'll stick since he only confirmed the paternity less than 6 wks ago and she hasn't answered any phone calls since then.

They probably won't stick (the abandonment charges that is). However, what will stick is that child support order coming down the pipeline I bet.

Is this something that I need to retain an attorney for? She has no proof because there is none.

You've already admitted that you've called and written her and you had no business doing either. Sounds like evidence to me.

I plan to bring the letter that I wrote to her as evidence of my extension of the olive branch, but I want to make sure that I'm not being naive about the procedure of the hearing. Can anyone advise? Much appreciation

Yeah...bring the letter. You better get an attorney and let him do the talking.