Tro

[berdonj]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii,

Hi, I have this situation with my High School Grandson that has been going home to his Mother and blaming me that I am the cause of his grades
dropping. I am a HS Teacher for 13 years now, and the Mother of my Grandson has full custody. He told her I was harassing him in school, and that is why his grades are bad. He later admitted he lied to his Mother. I understand that the Mother is a protective Mother and my Grandson is the youngest. He has an older Brother who is also my Grandson and he tells me everything. I have also been called into the office cause my boss wanted to let me know that the Mother called and doesn't want her children to have any contact with me. I have done nothing but show my love to these boys. So, I told my boss if she doesn't want the boys to have contact with me, then she needs to tell them to stay away from me and not come to my room. They both attend the same HS, that I teach at. So, two months goes by, I don't speak or go near the boys. Then suddenly the youngest Grandson is now telling the Mother more lies about me harassing him and she now wants to put a TRO on me. This is getting ridiculous and it has to stop already. Is there anything I can do to stop this?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii,

Hi, I have this situation with my High School Grandson that has been going home to his Mother and blaming me that I am the cause of his grades
dropping. I am a HS Teacher for 13 years now, and the Mother of my Grandson has full custody. He told her I was harassing him in school, and that is why his grades are bad. He later admitted he lied to his Mother. I understand that the Mother is a protective Mother and my Grandson is the youngest. He has an older Brother who is also my Grandson and he tells me everything. I have also been called into the office cause my boss wanted to let me know that the Mother called and doesn't want her children to have any contact with me. I have done nothing but show my love to these boys. So, I told my boss if she doesn't want the boys to have contact with me, then she needs to tell them to stay away from me and not come to my room. They both attend the same HS, that I teach at. So, two months goes by, I don't speak or go near the boys. Then suddenly the youngest Grandson is now telling the Mother more lies about me harassing him and she now wants to put a TRO on me. This is getting ridiculous and it has to stop already. Is there anything I can do to stop this?

You were told NOT to have contact with these boys. You were told that your son should go to court and get visitation. You were talking to both boys and yelling that it wasn't fair. As the adult it was on you to stay away. But you knew better -- In fact you stated:

They keep asking me for their Dad in school. But I know the Mom well and I don't want to see the boys get punish because they want to know about their Dad and our side of the family. The boys talk to me a lot cause they can't talk to their Mother. I do not ever put the Mother down in anyway. I tell the boys to listen to their Mother. But the boys are getting older now and feeling resentful towards their Mother. The boys tell me they cannot wait to be 18yrs old and they can leave home and spend time with their Dad and our side of the family.

Now you are stating that the youngest one was saying you were harassing him and is "now telling the Mother more lies about" it. Which implies that he was doing it before. You also stated in your other thread:

The truth will surface very soon between the boys and
their Mother.

But now you are stating the younger brother is lying. It seems you refuse to see what role your actions play in this.
Another post in your prior thread:

I am very disappointed at this particular forum. I have ask for advise before for other situation and this is the worst. I respect the Mom and I love my Grand kids.

This thread shows you do not respect Mom. You seem to not understand that you have no rights here and need to remain as far from the two boys as possible. YOU have no right to be talking to either one of them.

For the others:
POSTING HX!

 

[stealth2]

POSTING HX!

All of it is worth reading.

 

[Eekamouse]

OP, do yourself a favor and go sub at some other school where the temptation to talk to children you have no business talking to will be gone.

 

[Rwedunyet]

I think that perhaps OP forgot to put the "ll" at the end of the thread title.

 

[berdonj]

Gee thanxs again LOl!

I guess you just don't understand our culture in Hawaii and you will never ever understand. That is my Grand kids and I will love them always till I die!! You wouldn't be able to survive living with our Hawaiian Culture and you all need to know between the school, the Mother and I, we do have an understanding. It's the youngest son who is having issues and I just found out the TRO is not on me. It's on the Father. The Father doesn't even talk or see the boys at all. This youngest Grandson of mines is going through a lot in school and at home. He seriously needs help and he lies a lot. So, why are you getting on my case this is all my fault and I should be subbing at another school and you call my Grand kid children. Like were not related? You are off!! Stay in the Mainland were you belong!! Gee, you must not have Grand kids, cause if you do. That's children, and not your Grand kids.

 

[Eekamouse]

Nobody said you can't love your grandkids but unless Mom is cool with you talking to them, you really need to butt out. You don't get to do what you want just because you're related to them. They are not YOUR kids. They are HER kids. And the Hawaiian culture has nothing to do with this.

 

[Ladyback1]

I guess you just don't understand our culture in Hawaii and you will never ever understand. That is my Grand kids and I will love them always till I die!! You wouldn't be able to survive living with our Hawaiian Culture and you all need to know between the school, the Mother and I, we do have an understanding. It's the youngest son who is having issues and I just found out the TRO is not on me. It's on the Father. The Father doesn't even talk or see the boys at all. This youngest Grandson of mines is going through a lot in school and at home. He seriously needs help and he lies a lot. So, why are you getting on my case this is all my fault and I should be subbing at another school and you call my Grand kid children. Like were not related? You are off!! Stay in the Mainland were you belong!! Gee, you must not have Grand kids, cause if you do. That's children, and not your Grand kids.

Oh, get OVER YOURSELF!

Hawaiian Culture? Sounds like a lot of other cultures, frankly.

less than 6 mo. ago, you portrayed the kid as a fine upstanding young man, now you're portraying him as a troubled, lying teenager.

 

[berdonj]

Yup, you still don't get it and you never will about our HAWAIIAN culture. So, you get over it!! So, yes my youngest Grandson was doing great 6 months ago, and just lately he is going through a lot. He is lying a lot now and his a teenager dah!! even his older Brother understands more about what is going on then you all do. His 17 yrs old and he way smarter then you all. You all make me look like the worst person here. You don't even mention one thing about the TRO. That was my topic question. You all are telling me that I'm the one should be out of my Grand Children's life. I should sub at another school, and I'm not respecting the Mother. No wonder you are all on a "Free Advice Forum". I really hope you all are not lawyers in real life. Cause something doesn't sound right with your feed backs. You all sound like you want to break up families then give good advice. Stay in the Mainland lol.

 

[Ladyback1]

Yup, you still don't get it and you never will about our HAWAIIAN culture. So, you get over it!! So, yes my youngest Grandson was doing great 6 months ago, and just lately he is going through a lot. He is lying a lot now and his a teenager dah!! even his older Brother understands more about what is going on then you all do. His 17 yrs old and he way smarter then you all. You all make me look like the worst person here. You don't even mention one thing about the TRO. That was my topic question. You all are telling me that I'm the one should be out of my Grand Children's life. I should sub at another school, and I'm not respecting the Mother. No wonder you are all on a "Free Advice Forum". I really hope you all are not lawyers in real life. Cause something doesn't sound right with your feed backs. You all sound like you want to break up families then give good advice. Stay in the Mainland lol.

Do you know how disrespectful you are?
I grew up in Southern culture, I live and work in Native American Culture...You have no idea what I know or what anybody else here knows.

You are a rude, disrespectful, and frankly a disgrace to the beautiful culture that you claim. There is no way you should be representing yourself as part of the Hawaiian culture.

 

[Eekamouse]

This person has to be a troll. A teacher would not write the way she does. If, by some twist of fate, the Hawaiian school system is struggling to fill teaching positions and she is the best they can do, I pity the students. How likely is it that they would BE struggling to fill teaching positions in a great location like Hawaii? Yes, I suspect she is a troll. A troll who not only is not a teacher but probably has never set foot on one of the islands. It would not surprise me to learn that she is in some landlocked state and that she has never even been on a beach.

 

[davew128]

Hawaiian culture? It ended the day Magnum, P.I. was cancelled.

 

[cbg]

Hawaiians have a particularly strong sense of family, and until recently the custom of informally adopting a child, often a grandchild, was still prevalent.

That does not change any of the legalities that have been described in this or any other thread this poster has started.

 

[davew128]

Hawaiians have a particularly strong sense of family, and until recently the custom of informally adopting a child, often a grandchild, was still prevalent.

This is true of many ethnic backgrounds and cultures. It is certainly not unique to Hawaiians.

 

[cbg]

This is true of many ethnic backgrounds and cultures. It is certainly not unique to Hawaiians.

I agree with you completely - not saying it is.

It is certainly not unique to Hawaiians for someone to love their grandchildren. But loving your grandchildren does not give you the right to violate the law, or a TRO.