Want my BIL to stop calling

[sahmof3andhalf]

What is the name of your state? NY
I live in NY, my brother in law (my sister is divorcing) is calling me from his home, Mississippi, police report filed. i had my phone company put a trace on my phone collecting all phone calls from his home and cell and there is a total of 606 calls in 18 days. I know I can change my phone number, but we have lots of family out of state, as well as tons of businesses that contact us via home phone and to change it would be difficult to get everyone the new number, plus I think he would get it anyways.

The police just told me - out of state - not alot we can do, but I just can't believe that just b/c someone lives in a different state they can call my house, leave messages calling me and my children name, cursing, pushing buttons, calling all hours of the night to the point that ringers stay off 75% of the time, and there's nothing that can be done.

Can anyone give me good advice, mabye a criminal PO or something? Can I file charges or do the police have to do that themselves?

He is a scary crazy man. BTW my sister doesn't even live in the state of NY she lives in Ohio.

 

[sahmof3andhalf]

He called 18 times last night, leaving 3 messages, one was pushing buttons on the phone, one was a message directed to my husband calling names like "white trash, lazy piece of sh**, etc...." the last one was directed to me stating if I continue to have a relationship with my sister that he would be making my life a living hell. He stated that he would be calling my ex-husband and tell him things to make him try and take our 2 children away from me, and he would tell my husband things like our child isn't his, blah blah blah...all lies, but regardless, I need him to just leave me alone.

 

[fairisfair]

call the phone company. It is illegal to make harrassing or obscene phone calls. I am assuming that if you have already called them, then they are accumulating information and will turn it over to the police. Don't expect it to happen in a day, it could take months before they have enough evidence. Are they also recording the calls??

 

[gawm]

Call Rejection, ask your phone company about it.

 

[fairisfair]

Call Rejection, ask your phone company about it.

good idea, as long as he always calls from the same number.

 

[sahmof3andhalf]

He mainly calls from his parents house (he lives w/ them) or his personal cell phone. I did call the phone company about 30 days ago, they couldn't do anything except put that 18 day list on there for the cops. I'm going to call them again.

 

[sahmof3andhalf]

No, I just called them again, they have no rejection or block unless it's coming from a private phone number. The police, I talked to them again too, he said since he's in another state they can't really serve him with a restraining order unless criminal charges are brought, which is "a waste of time" for phone calls.

Geese, it's like the victim has no rights. I'm sure if my # changes he will get it, he's been in the family for 10 years, and he and my sister have 2 children together, he's basically phone stalking all of us for months now.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?do=finduser&u=290006

 

[sahmof3andhalf]

what are you only allowed to have like 4 posts on here a year? I thought this was for legal help?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=1255731

 

[CdwJava]

Assuming your BIL sleeps for 8 hours, he's calling more than twice per waking hour ... if, indeed, that is happening.

I suspect that if you screen the calls and don't answer from his caller ID, he'll eventually get weary of calling. Don't answer the phone and don't engage him in coversation. If you let him know that you are perturbed, he's winning (if that is what he is striving for).

I know it's a pain, but as you are discovering it is not an issue the police can do much about when the calls come from out of state.

- Carl

 

[sahmof3andhalf]

No I don't answer the calls, the machine does, it is usually full by 9 am when I wake from overnight. He usually stays up all night then sleeps until about 2 pm and starts again.

Thank you for your comment, it's very tiring, we are going on the 3rd month of this.

 

[sahmof3andhalf]

Quick follow - up ... in OH sister called sheriff's dept b/c the calls were becoming threatening, etc... while he was there taking report he called. The PO answered phone told him who he was and told him if he didn't stop calling criminal charges would be brought. Of course BIL thinks it was just some guy or something, continued. Sister is waiting to hear from PD this week about the criminal charges.

Happily today is day 3 and no calls from him to me.

 

[CdwJava]

The charges probably won't matter - and may not even happen - given the distance. Even OH is not going to extradite from MS for a misdemeanor of annoying phone calls.

I'm glad the calls have apparently stopped to you, but I wouldn't expect the police to be able to do much about this unless they can bluff and bluster him into stopping. MAYBE a restraining order will help IF a judge will sign one, and IF it can be served. Even if it cannot be enforced, it might shut him down before he realizes that.

- Carl