what now?

[kaleyxbaby]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? south carolina

My fiance (Mike) had an affair with a married woman (they work together). After discovering the affair, I told her husband, and there was a confrontation between the four of us. The woman's husband (Rick) and I became friends. Mike and Rick's wife had no contact with each other, and Rick and I agreed that we could forgive our cheating partners and get past the affair. Rick came over one night while Mike was at work to talk about the affair (it helped us heal together) and how everything was going, and his wife knew he was coming over here. So she called my fiance at work and told him her husband was over at our apartment because she got mad that he was spending time talking to me and not at home with her. Mike came home and told Rick to leave and to never come into our apartment without him being present again (Mike and I are both on the lease, but Mike pays the rent). Rick agreed and left.

One night Rick asked if he could stop by for a minute while Mike was at work, and I told him that was fine. I didn't expect him to stay long. He wanted to show me a trophy he had won at a car show. Rick's wife knew he was over here and approached Mike at work and told him that her husband was over at our apartment to try to instigate things. So Mike came home and told Rick to leave. Rick walked outside and sat in his car. We never heard him leave. So Mike walked outside and told him to leave again or he would make him leave. They started yelling at each other and Rick jumped out of the car and asked if he wanted to fight. They started bucking up to each other, and Mike put his hand up to keep rick back. Rick shoved Mike, and that started a shoving match. Then Rick swung at Mike and Mike swung back. I split them up and made mike go back inside. About 2 minutes later, Rick was still sitting outside. Mike walked outside and told him to leave again. Rick said, "i know what will solve this" and reached into his car. Mike thought he had a concealed weapon and tried to shove him away from his car. When Mike saw that he was going after his cell phone he told him to leave again and came back into the apartment. We sat in the apartment for a minute, and Rick still refused to leave. Mike opened the door and told him to leave. Rick said "no. i'm on the phone with the police. you are going to jail tonight. you are going to jail!" Mike walked up to him and told him to leave one last time. Rick refused and Mike ran after him. Mike shoved him from behind up a hill near our apartment and Rick fell. Then Mike grabbed him by his ankles and tried dragging him down the hill toward his car telling him over and over to just leave. The police got here and Mike was charged with assult and battery. Rick got to go free claiming self defense.

I called Rick and tried to insist that he drop charges. In my desperate plea I told him I would do anything. He said, "you can't give me what I want." and I asked him what it was that he needed, and he said his life back (before the affair). Mike's father called and asked him what it would take for him to drop charges and Rick told him the only way he would drop charges was if Mike left the state by himself without me and that Mike needed to learn a lesson. So basically it's all about revenge and seems like a setup. I was a tool for Rick to get back at Mike for having an affair with his wife. On top of things Mike got suspended from his job from being arrested (lost wages). Was it considered trespassing after Rick refused to leave (I do believe Mike gave him enough time to leave the property)? And shouldn't Rick have went to jail as well considering the fact that he made the choice to get out of his car and shoved and hit Mike first? What can we do?

[The Occultist]

Was Rick in your driveway with the car? or was the car out in the street while he was sitting in it.

Your post, by the way, is very difficult to read.

[kaleyxbaby]

I'm sorry for the inconvenience. It's hard for me to understand and explain because unfortunately It's my life. Tell me what you don't understand, and maybe I can elaborate. Rick was sitting in the parking space right in front of my apartment (we don't have a driveway, but it's considered our parking space)...about 10ft in front of my door. We hardly have a yard.

He should have just left instead of just sitting there like he was waiting on something. It's like he was nagging it on. Had he not jumped out of the car and suggested a fight and shoved Mike when Mike told him to leave again, there would have never been one. Rick claimed self defense...Isn't self defense supposed to only take effect when and if you feel threatened? If so, Rick had a chance to just drive off into the night...home free. He put himself in the position to feel threatened when he got out of his car. He was man enough to step out of the car when Mike told him he would make him leave...What was he expecting when he got out of it? Sweet talk? I want my fiance to go take a warrant out on him because he did strike him, and it wasn't in self defense because he hit him first. To be honest with you, they both should have went to jail for acting foolish...men...excuse me...little boys and egos don't mix. I care about them both...My fiance is the love of my life and Rick is a dear friend to me, but I believe in fairness no matter the cause or who it involves, and I don't think the outcome was fair at all. I won't lie for either of them. I'm just the bystander.

By the way, had Rick's wife not approached Mike and told him her husband was over here, Mike would have never had known and nothing would have ever happened in the first place. Something just doesn't seem right about that at all...She told Mike that Rick was over here before he even came over.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by kaleyxbaby

i'm sorry for the inconvenience. it's hard for me to understand and explain because unfortunately it's my life. tell me what you don't understand, and maybe i can elaborate. rick was sitting in the parking space right in front of my apartment (we don't have a driveway, but it's considered our parking space)...about 10ft in front of my door. we hardly have a yard. he should have just left instead of just sitting there like he was waiting on something. it's like he was nagging it on. had he not jumped out of the car and suggested a fight and shoved mike when mike told him to leave again, there would have never been one. rick claimed self defense...isn't self defense supposed to only take effect when and if you feel threatened? if so, rick had a chance to just drive off into the night...home free. he put himself in the position to feel threatened when he got out of his car. he was man enough to step out of the car when mike told him he would make him leave...what was he expecting when he got out of it? sweet talk? i want my fiance to go take a warrant out on him because he did strike him, and it wasn't in self defense because he hit him first. to be honest with you, they both should have went to jail for acting foolish...men...excuse me...little boys and egos don't mix. i care about them both...my fiance is the love of my life and rick is a dear friend to me, but i believe in fairness no matter the cause or who it involves, and i don't think the outcome was fair at all. i won't lie for either of them. i'm just the bystander.

Your post is hard to read because you are not using proper capitalization, paragraphs or spacing. Your punctuation could be more accurate also. If you would format your post properly it would help the VOLUNTEERS that are attempting to assist you.

[Peligroso27]

shouldn't rick have went to jail as well considering the fact that he made the choice to get out of his car and shoved and hit mike first?
In theory yes. If Rick felt threatened then a preemptive strike can be considered self-defense. South Carolina does have the Stand Your Ground Law that allows an individual to protect themselves with reasonable force without fear of prosecution for doing so. Meaning if Rick felt his life was threatened he could have legally shot and killed Mike.

what can we do?
File a civil suit against him.

[CdwJava]

If the police were given the whole tale and they arrested only Mike, then it would seem that they found there to be probable cause only to arrest Mike.

At this point, who they could have arrested for various things is not relevant. Rick needs to defend himself and he should obtain an attorney to help do that.

- Carl

[kaleyxbaby]

It wasn't up to the cops. The cops didn't want to arrest Mike and made it clear to him that they would have done the same thing. At first the cops said they both had to go if anybody was going to press charges, and then Rick got really mad and kept pushing the situation. So Rick had the officers call a judge. The only thing I can think of is that he lied to the officers, the judge, or in his statement, but that will all come out in court. I'm just going to push the fact that Rick should have left when told to do so (after given a decent amount of time...not to mention plenty of warnings...to leave, it's considered trespassing, and by law you can remove an unwanted visitor by force to get them to leave if asked to leave and they don't). Personally, if I felt threatened by someone I'm not going to stand around and hang out...I'm going to leave asap. I'm not going to instigate it. Rick didn't get mad until Mike told him if he didn't leave, he would make him leave by calling the law. That's when he got out of his car, and came at Mike (who was standing in our yard). Mike has no previous record of anything like this, but Rick has been to jail for beating his wife.

[outonbail]

My fiance (Mike) had an affair with a married woman (they work together). After discovering the affair, I told her husband, and there was a confrontation between the four of us. The woman's husband (Rick) and I became friends.

Clearly a sign that trouble's a brew-in!

Mike came home and told Rick to leave and to never come into our apartment without him being present again

Understandable and even reasonable if you truly decided to put the affair behind you, move on and mend the relationship.

One night Rick asked if he could stop by for a minute while Mike was at work, and I told him that was fine.

So much for mending the relationship,,,

He wanted to show me a trophy he had won at a car show.

Did you get to see it? Hold it? Polish it?
Was it really a trophy?

I know, not legal advice. But since the OP decided to post all the drama leading up to her legal question, I thought I'd respond to that end of it.

So basically it's all about revenge and seems like a setup. I was a tool for Rick to get back at Mike for having an affair with his wife.

and visa-versa?

I care about them both...My fiance is the love of my life and Rick is a dear friend to me,

Lady, you need to choose, one or the other, because you can't have it both ways without spending a lot more time in court.

So, here's your choice, let us know who will it be, the two time loser, or the wife beating bruiser?

[Peligroso27]

Originally Posted by kaleyxbaby

It wasn't up to the cops. The cops didn't want to arrest Mike and made it clear to him that they would have done the same thing. At first the cops said they both had to go if anybody was going to press charges, and then Rick got really mad and kept pushing the situation. So Rick had the officers call a judge. The only thing I can think of is that he lied to the officers, the judge, or in his statement, but that will all come out in court. I'm just going to push the fact that Rick should have left when told to do so (after given a decent amount of time...not to mention plenty of warnings...to leave, it's considered trespassing, and by law you can remove an unwanted visitor by force to get them to leave if asked to leave and they don't). Personally, if I felt threatened by someone I'm not going to stand around and hang out...I'm going to leave asap. I'm not going to instigate it. Rick didn't get mad until Mike told him if he didn't leave, he would make him leave by calling the law. That's when he got out of his car, and came at Mike (who was standing in our yard). Mike has no previous record of anything like this, but Rick has been to jail for beating his wife.

Where did you find that law? I thought the law stated that trespass was, "Section 16-386, Code of Laws of South Carolina, "Entry on lands of another after notice prohibiting same."

Generally in order to attain a trespassing violation the individual needs a trespass warning given to him by the police. Also you do not own the parking lot or common areas of an apartment complex. You have no authority to require an unwanted visitor to leave a public area but you can request the office place a trespass warning against your dear wife beating friend.

Your story has changed a little from your first post, this generally happens when OP's don't get the answer they wanted to hear. Is there a specific answer you are looking for? It is much easier if you tell us what you want to hear and we can just write that instead of real legal advice.

[swrdmbo]

I think your "good friend" Rick..set your husband up and he was dumb enough to fall for it.

I think his wife may have been in on the set up.

Rick is not your friend. He used you to get at your husband and it worked.

[kaleyxbaby]

Thanks for all your advice. Mike went to court and won. We are getting back lost wages, and he filed an order of protection. I feel better now.