assaulted is there a case?

[pattijc]

What is the name of your state? california

Hi. My daughter was assaulted by a guy she was dating at his parents home. She was hit in both sides of her neck, chest,arms and thrown against a block wall. He hit her with an unopened coke can in his hand. As she was trying to ring the doorbell to get help from his mother he continued to hit her. His mother opened the door and grabbed him around the neck to get him off. As she did this he kicked my daughter in the legs. The neighbors called the police and because my daughter hit him back in self defense and got him in the lip (his only wound) they said if she pressed charges they would both be arrested. My daughter has 2 small boys not from him so when she called me to tell me we decided not to press charges because of her children. His mother got on the phone and asked me to please let it go as her son was starting a new job the next day.
A few hours later I took my daughter to the ER as she couldn't move her neck and had a grapefruit size lump in the middle of her chest. She was covered in bruises and having severe panic attacks. The police showed up again and we thought something would be done but again they said unless his mother said her son did this there would be a double arrest. So again we let it go.
Now my daughter has fallen into a deep depression and is not the same person she was before this happened. She no longer cares about anything and sleeps all the time. She doesn't play with her boys and her unemployment ran out and she won't leave the house to look for work because she is so afraid. She needs to go to the doctor to get something to help with all of this but I can't even get her to do that.
Does anyone know what we should do? Do we file a lawsuit and if so who would we sue he doesn't have anything. I am just afraid for my grandsons. They are losing their mother and I am doing my best to take over for her right now. Please any advice would be great. THANK YOU

 

[knotcops]

Press charges against the ex-boyfriend.

 

[pattijc]

and then she goes to jail too!!! The cops told me it would be 75,000 bond. We are not rich and I will not have my daughter arrested because she got beat up by this BUM!

 

[dequeendistress]

reporting and filing with the police is about the only legal recourse.

Try to get a r/o if you do not wish to pursue what you were advised and be aware that the hitting back (in self defense) may be brought up by the ex boyfriend.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

What the hell did she do to make him "go off" on her like that?

By the way, is there a trailer with deflated tires somewhere in this whole scenario?

IAAL

 

[pattijc]

The fact that he has a split lip is exactly what he will bring up. Thats why we are not pressing charges.

what made him "GO OFF" was he was drunk and she refused to ride in the car with him. Good enough answer for you?

I am not quite sure how to take the trailer comment....

I said we were not RICH why would you assume we live in a trailer??

Thanks for being so KIND to a new comer who was only looking for some advice. Guess I should have gone with my gut instinct and spoke to a real attorney.

 

[enjay]

Patti, the bottom line is that if she won't press charges there's really nothing that can be done. She should be in counseling to ensure that she makes better choices in the future.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

The fact that he has a split lip is exactly what he will bring up. Thats why we are not pressing charges.

what made him "GO OFF" was he was drunk and she refused to ride in the car with him. Good enough answer for you?

I am not quite sure how to take the trailer comment....

I said we were not RICH why would you assume we live in a trailer??

Thanks for being so KIND to a new comer who was only looking for some advice. Guess I should have gone with my gut instinct and spoke to a real attorney.

My response:

You said - -

"what made him "GO OFF" was he was drunk and she refused to ride in the car with him. Good enough answer for you?"

No, it's not. Your response is HIGHLY implausible and doubtful. Unless he's a schizophrenic, and off his meds, "normal" people just don't, because she refused to get into a car with a drunk, "hit in both sides of her neck, chest,arms and thrown against a block wall. He hit her with an unopened coke can in his hand. As she was trying to ring the doorbell to get help from his mother he continued to hit her. His mother opened the door and grabbed him around the neck to get him off. As she did this he kicked my daughter in the legs."

There's more to this story than you're telling, or that you weren't told about - - and we're not going to play guessing games with you.

For all we know, she had a gun and he was merely defending himself.

Yes, my dear, a scenario as you describe only occurs when one of the "players" lives in a trailer because this is how trailer trash deal with each other.

IAAL

 

[pattijc]

You amuse me!!

I never said he wasn't mental because I don't know. She had only gone out with him a couple of times and that was the first time she had seen him drinking. Who knows maybe he was off his meds!

I think since you called me your DEAR I shall call you my Antelope!

My Antelope, let me assure you my family does not live in a trailer nor are we trash as you assume.

I just think that a man should not be allowed to beat on a woman and get away with it just because she got in one good lick! What was she supposed to do take it until someone came along to stop him? Thats how women are killed ya know. Should she not have hit him back, is that what the law says? It must or we would not be in this situation. I am almost sure if she pressed charges a judge would find him guilty not her but I will not allow her to be arrested just to find out. Maybe the next woman he beats will be smarter than my daughter and not defend herself. Ya think?????????

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

You're still not being truthful. You're holding back facts. There's more to this story than you're telling, or that you weren't told about - - and we're not going to play guessing games with you.

For all we know, she had a gun and he was merely defending himself.

If you want answers, you need to be completely forthcoming, or obtain ALL the facts before you write.

IAAL

 

[dequeendistress]

Deer is not the same as dear.

IAAL needs no help, I replied because in my estimation you did not post for advice, you posted to bitch, moan and gripe.

The police should have been called when she kicked his ass out the door instead of striking back.

 

[pattijc]

OMG!!!!! HELLOOOOO the dear deer thing was a joke GEEZZ!!
Wrong forum I guess.

I did come here for advice and no other reason. I guess unless we press charges there is nothing we can do.

I will go ask if I am missing some part of this story but I was there when the police reports were made so I think I got it all. Thanks for the advice and I will not bother you again.

Have a good day all.

 

[dequeendistress]

I believe I will.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Okay, it was nice having you. While you're waiting to get all the facts, have someone re-inflate the trailer tires.

IAAL

 

[dequeendistress]

ROFL