• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Driver of car my son rear-ended asking us for money

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

frugalone

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

My son rear-ended a car. The driver of the car called the police. Police said it was a 5mph collision, and there was no damage and no charges. My son thought that was the end of it.

Yesterday (a week later) the driver of the car showed up on our front door. He's asking us for $125 for lost wages. Since my son wasn't home, he said he'll come back today at 3pm.

I plan to call my insurance company today (Saturday -- I waited till my son came home from work yesterday to tell him).

Does the driver of the car have a right to approach us for money? Or should my insurance company handle the claim?

Thank you very much.
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

My son rear-ended a car. The driver of the car called the police. Police said it was a 5mph collision, and there was no damage and no charges. My son thought that was the end of it.

Yesterday (a week later) the driver of the car showed up on our front door. He's asking us for $125 for lost wages. Since my son wasn't home, he said he'll come back today at 3pm.

I plan to call my insurance company today (Saturday -- I waited till my son came home from work yesterday to tell him).

Does the driver of the car have a right to approach us for money? Or should my insurance company handle the claim?

Thank you very much.
How old is your son?
 

frugalone

Junior Member
He has the right to ask for money. You have the right to say no. That's what I advise you to do.
Thank you for the advice.

I just now called our insurance. I'm told that we should not pay the driver of the car. Instead the driver of the car should file a claim with his insurance. His insurance in turn, will demand payment (not sure if 'payment' was the term used) from our insurance. But I'm also told that the driver of the car can only file a claim for lost wages if he was injured and unable to go to work maybe for days.

My son and I plan to suggest to the driver that we go this route first, that is, he should file a claim with his insurance.

I appreciate your advice very much. I've been rear-ended at least three times before (more if I include times where I wasn't the driver) and we just walk away from them without calling the police.
 

frugalone

Junior Member
It was less than 5mph, instead of 5mph as I originally posted

My son told me the police said my son was going less than 5 mph.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
Thank you for the advice.

I just now called our insurance. I'm told that we should not pay the driver of the car. Instead the driver of the car should file a claim with his insurance. His insurance in turn, will demand payment (not sure if 'payment' was the term used) from our insurance. But I'm also told that the driver of the car can only file a claim for lost wages if he was injured and unable to go to work maybe for days.

My son and I plan to suggest to the driver that we go this route first, that is, he should file a claim with his insurance.

I appreciate your advice very much. I've been rear-ended at least three times before (more if I include times where I wasn't the driver) and we just walk away from them without calling the police.
You make it sound as if getting rear-ended while driving your car is normal and no big deal.

There are reasons why people get rear-ended:

1. Drivers are following another vehicle at an unsafe distance. MOST LIKELY.
2. Drivers are not looking straight ahead. VERY LIKELY.
3. Drivers are using the latest technology to communicate while driving. VERY LIKELY.
4. Drivers experience a mechanical problem with the vehicle and can't stop. VERY UNLIKELY.

Pick the senerio that applies to your son and educate him. Because there are people in the world like me who are very intolerant of getting rear-ended.
 

frugalone

Junior Member
You make it sound as if getting rear-ended while driving your car is normal and no big deal.

There are reasons why people get rear-ended:

1. Drivers are following another vehicle at an unsafe distance. MOST LIKELY.
2. Drivers are not looking straight ahead. VERY LIKELY.
3. Drivers are using the latest technology to communicate while driving. VERY LIKELY.
4. Drivers experience a mechanical problem with the vehicle and can't stop. VERY UNLIKELY.

Pick the senerio that applies to your son and educate him. Because there are people in the world like me who are very intolerant of getting rear-ended.
My apologies for making it sound that way. I failed to mention that I did give my son the lesson that needed to be learned last night, to the point that my wife and I had an argument that I was too heavy-handed.

Then I proceeded discussing with him how I thought best to handle the situation.

In any case, this one ended well. The man showed up. I had my son front him and just told my son I'll back him up if needed. Right away the man said to my son he's not filing a claim and just be careful next time. They shook hands and the man left.

Too soon to say what made the man have a change of heart. But one possibility is because yesterday I approached him as one parent understanding another parent. I told him I completely understood his position and I will speak to my son.

Thank you for all the comments.

EDIT: I'd like to add -- I taught my son how to drive. When I was teaching him and up to this day, whenever we change places so he sits behind the wheel, first thing he does is turn off the radio. He doesn't like being distracted.
 
Last edited:

Bali Hai

Senior Member
My apologies for making it sound that way. I failed to mention that I did give my son the lesson that needed to be learned last night, to the point that my wife and I had an argument that I was too heavy-handed.

Then I proceeded discussing with him how I thought best to handle the situation.

In any case, this one ended well. The man showed up. I had my son front him and just told my son I'll back him up if needed. Right away the man said to my son he's not filing a claim and just be careful next time. They shook hands and the man left.

Too soon to say what made the man have a change of heart. But one possibility is because yesterday I approached him as one parent understanding another parent. I told him I completely understood his position and I will speak to my son.

Thank you for all the comments.

EDIT: I'd like to add -- I taught my son how to drive. When I was teaching him and up to this day, whenever we change places so he sits behind the wheel, first thing he does is turn off the radio. He doesn't like being distracted.
If your son doesn't like being distracted and excersizes the proper attention while driving, how did he rear-end another vehicle?

BTW, the police estimated the speed of your son's vehicle at impact. What was the speed of the vehicle he hit at impact? What was the speed of your son's vehicle?

You don't need to answer those questions. I was 21 once.
 

frugalone

Junior Member
The police said less than 5 mph. Initially I thought 5mph then my son corrected me.

Also, the 3 times I was rear ended were in stop-and-go traffic (with one coming out of a gas station attempting to merge into heavy traffic). One admitted being sleepy and one just looked lost that I had to ask if he was alright. So it didn't occur to me to think the very valid points you raise about electronics, etc.

The driver also apologized rather heavily yesterday to me for yelling at my son. So I was wondering if he was making a scene with asking for money later in mind. Turns out he wasn't.

EDIT: I just realized I didn't answer your first question -- he said he was picking something up from the floor. I have some really big complaints about my son but driving isn't one of them. Even if, say, he was looking at his electronics at the time (I don't think so -- it's one of the things my wife and I regularly ask him along with never letting male friends in the car; gf is OK), I still wouldn't admonish him more than necessary. He shines bright in my eyes when it comes to driving safety (obeying stop signs, signaling when turning, turning his head to see, etc.) that I actually find him weird for a young male driver.
 
Last edited:

ecmst12

Senior Member
Nothing Bali said is relevant. You can feel free to ignore him.

Your son was at fault, but there was no damage. He has insurance. The other driver can attempt to make a claim with his insurance, and his insurance will pay if appropriate or defend against the claim if not. He does not have to pay a penny to the other guy out of his pocket and absolutely should not. He should let his insurance handle it. And with no damage and no injuries, no payment would be appropriate.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
Nothing Bali said is relevant. You can feel free to ignore him.

Your son was at fault, but there was no damage. He has insurance. The other driver can attempt to make a claim with his insurance, and his insurance will pay if appropriate or defend against the claim if not. He does not have to pay a penny to the other guy out of his pocket and absolutely should not. He should let his insurance handle it. And with no damage and no injuries, no payment would be appropriate.
There was quite a successful campaign across the nation against drunk drivers sponsored with billions by MAD. In NYS it will cost $10k plus in fines, lawyers and court costs if charged with DWI.

Now we have texting and cell phone use that produces just as much threat as drunk drivers. More and more of MAD's children are driving recklessly. When the penalties are just as severe, I will feel safer when driving.

Go ahead and ignore Bali for now, but if you rear-end Bali and he sees you texting when you do, you won't have that
option.
 
Last edited:

HighwayMan

Super Secret Senior Member
BTW, the police estimated the speed of your son's vehicle at impact...
That's very doubtful. No accident investigation was done for such a minor collision. It would be a complete waste of time and resources and very few officers are trained to do so.
 

FlyingRon

Senior Member
Now we have texting and cell phone use that produces just as much threat as drunk drivers. More and more of MAD's children are driving recklessly. When the penalties are just as severe, I will feel safer when driving.
Texting I can believe, but there is no credible evidence that voice telephone calls contribute one way or another to highway accidents. The various research efforts including the oft-quoted NSC study are statistically unfounded. There have been studies that show that using a cellphone (handsfree or handheld) does impact driving tasks but there's not a correlation to actual accidents nor any indication that cellphone use is any more or less problematic than other things like eating, having kids in the car, talking to passengers, reading maps, singing along with the radio, ...

But people find those who talk on the phone obnoxious. When a behavior is deemed obnoxious people will go to great extent to invent data to beat it down.

A fine example is smoking. Very trumped up data on second hand smoke has made it near impossible to smoke anywhere. So smokers switch to e-cigs so they could kill themselves without affecting others. Of course, the sad truth is that people just hate smokers, so now you have people running around banning e-cig use, even thought there is absolutely ZERO public health issue outside the user.


But not withstanding the rear-reaming for the kid getting in the accident in the first place, listen to your insurer.
Do not pay them anything. If they contact you, either ignore them or refer them to your insurer. If you get a lawsuit paper, contact your insurer immediately and provide them with the information.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
Texting I can believe, but there is no credible evidence that voice telephone calls contribute one way or another to highway accidents. The various research efforts including the oft-quoted NSC study are statistically unfounded. There have been studies that show that using a cellphone (handsfree or handheld) does impact driving tasks but there's not a correlation to actual accidents nor any indication that cellphone use is any more or less problematic than other things like eating, having kids in the car, talking to passengers, reading maps, singing along with the radio, ...

But people find those who talk on the phone obnoxious. When a behavior is deemed obnoxious people will go to great extent to invent data to beat it down.

A fine example is smoking. Very trumped up data on second hand smoke has made it near impossible to smoke anywhere. So smokers switch to e-cigs so they could kill themselves without affecting others. Of course, the sad truth is that people just hate smokers, so now you have people running around banning e-cig use, even thought there is absolutely ZERO public health issue outside the user.


But not withstanding the rear-reaming for the kid getting in the accident in the first place, listen to your insurer.
Do not pay them anything. If they contact you, either ignore them or refer them to your insurer. If you get a lawsuit paper, contact your insurer immediately and provide them with the information.
I agree with you and hence why we see lower and lower blood alcohol limits for drivers. You don't see MAD campaigning for tougher laws on texting or cell phone use when driving because women hate men who drink but love to yack on the phone.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top