Incompetent Attorney or am I impatient?

What is the name of your state? Missouri

3 years ago a pickup truck ran a red light and slammed into the driver's side of our camry. I was 8 months pregnant and driving. The day of the incident I went to the ER but mercifully everything seemed fine with both myself and my daughter in utero. However, I went into premature labor 3x over the last month of the pregnancy, was given terb. injections to stop labor, etc. It was a terrible experience and left a total of over $3K med. bills plus we had to scuttle to find a new auto while getting ready for the new baby, etc. An attorney friend (med. malpractice specialty) of my husbands urged us to sue for damages and pain and suffering. Incidentally, the insurance co. of the guy who hit us seemed VERY generous with the check for our totalled car, new carseat for our toddler who was in the back, etc., but we decided to take our friend's advice.

Well it's been a while and a loooong wait for the hospital to provide (incomplete) records and after the case has worked it's way around this attorney friend's office. He apologized for "forgetting" to check in on his (apparently clueless) assistant who was handling things, and there was a year's wait for the records. He also said the guy's attorneys were being unethical by waiting so long (while charging their client) to get back to him on things he'd requested or wanted to discuss.

Today I received a letter that an offer was made to the insurance co. of the guy we're suing and they refused and now we're going to court. Late Next Year! 4 years after the fact. I am ready to ditch this, or just get the 20% back I had to pay in hospital bills (our ins. paid 80%), cause frankly I can't imagine being able to recount much in detail about the entire incident at this point, and it's really starting to sound fishy.

Does this amount of time seem reasonable? Does that fact that originally the guy's ins. seemed so generous (I was hugely pregnant and I know it freaked them out) and now they think they can win in court mean something? My husband is so loyal to his friend but I think my case may have been bungled. Any thoughts?

thanks in advance,

estea