Police called on Husband & daughter, when went to confront pizza driver in store

[kristia]

What is the name of your state? TN
To make a long story short, we ordered pizza, they would not take are check that they previously did, my husband and 8 year old daughter present,gave boxes back to delivery guy, came in and shut door to keep dog from running out, went right back out asked driver to stay, while we called store. Driver goes back to store and says that husband threw pizzas at him and closed door in face. Husband and daughter go to store to ask driver why he said this false information, when husband and daughter entered store, no one spoke to them, few minutes later police arrived, to question manager and husband.
I feel that this now showed my daughter that when someone is saying lies about you and you confront them, you will get in trouble(totally against principles i taught her). Next, we are upstanding citizens, and my daughter never encountered police in that manner. I have a BS in Psychology and I feel that, being in that situation, will have a ever lasting negative impact on her emotionally, but psychologically as well.

I would like advice on how far I should pursue this grievance, I am truly upset.

 

[hexeliebe]

I have a BS in Psychology and I feel that, being in that situation, will have a ever lasting negative impact on her emotionally, but psychologically as well.

Then continue with your studies and you'll learn that even at that age, a bad situation and it's eventual effect on children depends on how it is addressed when speaking about it with the child.

In other words, sit her down and explain that there was a disagreement as people are wont to do, and the police, acting in their capacity to protect and help people, came to try to resolve the situation.

Also explain to her that, unfortunately, people lie. But as long as she knows what happened then she's old enough to make up her own mind.

As for the incident, ask the manager of the pizza place who owns the store and how you can contact them. If they won't give you that information, go to city hall an ask for a copy of the business license. It will have it there.

Then write them a certified (RRR) letter explaining the situation and asking that something be done in the future to insure not only the safety of their customers, but the integrity of the business relationship you previously had with them.

 

[JETX]

Would love to hear the other side of this one.

 

[hexeliebe]

If only that would EVER happen

 

[kristia]

reply to hexeleibe

If life and children were only that simple, obviously you have not worked with children often enough to know their psychological physiology. There are proven cases, such as a child walking to school everyday and there being a dog that consistently barks at them, on that same walk there is also let's say a certain type of tree or car on that same journey. The thought of being threaten, even though the child as a an adult, may not fear dogs, but may have some sort of resentment/stand-offish toward that tree or car. This is just a reaching out example to prove a point. Look up some of Freud and Erickson's theories, and you'll see. Even though you do sit the child down, and explain things to them as best as you can to the ability you pray they'll understand, in their minds they still see with what they feel with their emotions, no matter what positive reinforcement and solutions we emphasize to the matter that took place. I still as an over 30 year old adult remember things in my childhood that have had an negative impacton my life and on my emotions, even though at the time I was explained the reasons.

Not even to address freedom of speech or thought, but to address business ethics, that should be held by an professional franchise (especially as well known as this one) and should be stressed and trained to their managers. I do understand police reinforcement for safety of all individuals at account, but my point being is that my husband and daughter showed up, with no one speaking to them and they standing in the lobby waiting, and then police showing up before even being spoken to, this having grounds to showing no safety issues even involved. I have even contacted the franchise's main customer service on the complaint, and their representative believed that, the situation that took place was not deemed necessary, and was very inappropriate.

I have already completed an official letter of complaint and have a copy of the police incident report.


I appreciate your belief on how simplification of instances can deem children unharmed of circumstances that have negative impacts on them, but from knowledge, research, study, and from the front lines, it is not that simple.

 

[hexeliebe]

Don't ever assume you know who you are speaking with on a forum such as this.

If life and children were only that simple, obviously you have not worked with children often enough to know their psychological physiology.

Lady I've seen children blown into 1,000 pieces, seen 7 and 8 year-old girls selling themselves for enough to eat and a warm place to sleep. I have seen firsthand the mutilation of little girls at the hands of their own families for 'religious' reasons and I've also been within 25 feet of a very good friend getting blown into forever by a grenade under the skirt of a sweet little girl who's brain landed in my face.

So don't preach to the choir. I understand a hell of a lot more about children than you may think.

As for your references to Freud and Erikson I can also give you references in psychology to bolster any theory you want to lay out for examination.

The point of this entire incident is that it is YOUR responsibility to make sure YOUR child understands what occurred, why it occurred and the result of what OCCURRED.

Hell, based on your 'theories' if you get stopped for speeding and your child is in the car, then the police are liable for any and all trauma that may result from the incident.

The complaint was justified. and I hope something comes of it.

However, your rationalization about what MAY have happened to your child that's for you to decide how to deal with. As for any legal basis for damages, you have none.

 

[kristia]

Tell you are previous military

Don't ever assume you know who you are speaking with on a forum such as this.



Lady I've seen children blown into 1,000 pieces, seen 7 and 8 year-old girls selling themselves for enough to eat and a warm place to sleep. I have seen firsthand the mutilation of little girls at the hands of their own families for 'religious' reasons and I've also been within 25 feet of a very good friend getting blown into forever by a grenade under the skirt of a sweet little girl who's brain landed in my face.

So don't preach to the choir. I understand a hell of a lot more about children than you may think.

As for your references to Freud and Erikson I can also give you references in psychology to bolster any theory you want to lay out for examination.

The point of this entire incident is that it is YOUR responsibility to make sure YOUR child understands what occurred, why it occurred and the result of what OCCURRED.

Hell, based on your 'theories' if you get stopped for speeding and your child is in the car, then the police are liable for any and all trauma that may result from the incident.

The complaint was justified. and I hope something comes of it.

However, your rationalization about what MAY have happened to your child that's for you to decide how to deal with. As for any legal basis for damages, you have none.

 

[hexeliebe]

and you would be right. Except the only one of those experiences I had while in the military was in Viet Nam in 1974.

The rest were while serving as a Liaison with NATO on children's issues in Eastern Europe and emerging issues relating to security.

As for the psychology, there are enough theories to go around. Just look at the prison system in this country and you can find a psychological theory to explain away every crime or criminal.

The point of this whole thing is you took the initiative with the company. Isn't your child worth the same effort.

As for legally, you have no basis for any lawsuit or complaint agains the company for anything. All you have shown here by your post is that the people running this franchise don't have the foggiest idea about customer relations.

 

[kristia]

previous military

I was married to a Gunny in the USMC, and yes I have heard and literally been described visualization of what has taken place with children in other parts of the world and in our country as well. I am not saying that you have not known children, but to work with them on a day to day bases in counseling is a different story. Seeing children being tortured whether physically and mentally, is very different than counseling what they have been through, whether it be from physcial or mental abuse. You can talk, role-play, along with so many other techniquces that seem adequate for the child and the situation, but it does not always resolve the problem.

The example of the being pulled over for speeding, well of common knowledge, that is a breaking of the law and children must see that aspect of life. The aspect I am referring to should of never taken place.

For you to come back with a defense and describe in detail of scenes of what you have experienced with children, from the comment of that "you have not worked that often with children", a statement that does not mean that you have not been around children, or "the battle field as you seem to express your experiences with children", but a comment of expression that you have not literally worked one on one at counseling these children and re-condition their thoughts and actions, and later finding out that no matter how hard you try some, situations that they face can never be erased, and will have a negative impact on their life, whether it be now or 20 years later.

I commend all of are armed forces and humanitarians that put theirselves out there for the good of others. What they see an experience is very dramatizing. It is well advised that they do seek professional help with issues to the extreme cases such as yours. It can have a negative impact on any human, and especially in the cases that it is still a vivid part of their memory. Being that vivid, and seeing such as an adult, right there proves the theory that a negative situation, lives inside of you. Yes it is up to you, to put it into a positive state in your life, but it is much easier to comprehend that as an adult, than if you were an 8 year old child.

 

[hexeliebe]

So, are you going to wait until she is an adult before you help her to comprehend or deal with it now.

I have two daughters, 8 and 10 and as for working with them on a daily basis, I don't have that luxury. But as a father I deal with issues the same as any mother, in fact, much more than my ex since I have both my daughters in counseling for issues related to our divorce that happened more than 4 years ago.

The point of your post is not about children. It's about the incident. And like it or not, your daughter is secondary in that aspect.

Boiled down you, your husband nor your daughter have any legal basis for any 'damages' against the franchise save poor business practices which is not actionable under the law.

You have done what you can regarding the treatment your husband and daughter were subjected to. The other issues have nothing to do with the law but with your own family.

Good luck.

 

[kristia]

The point of this whole thing is you took the initiative with the company. Isn't your

My daughter and other children as well, are definitely worth the initiative. And I have talked to her about the event and said what happened was wrong, and that not always people that do bad things are punished or even told of their wrong doings. Lying is a very serious issue in my home, and she is taught if someone is lying about her, the issue should be confronted and handled in an adult manner. The manner this manager took to handle this issue was very unprofessional.

My point I want to get across, is that well-known franchises should not sell their name to just anyone with the money, and then the owner of these franchises, should not allow kids, with no idea of managerial skills, or even business ethics to run these institutes. I feel a lesson should be taught. And yes I do feel that what happened was at my daughter's expense, no matter how much counseling I provide her.

Yes, you are correct, there are many theories out there and many different beliefs and approaches to them. Though I firmly believe, what may seem to be a "petty" instance to an adult, can and in many cases does make a lasting impression on the child, whether it be emotionally, pyschologically, or be held in the subconscious that affects them later on through their journey through life.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

From a liability standpoint, this is where your husband was wrong - - when you said:

"Husband and daughter go to store to ask driver why he said this false information, when husband and daughter entered store, no one spoke to them, few minutes later police arrived, to question manager and husband."


There was no "legal" reason to go to the store. There was no "legal" reason to "confront". And, there was no "legal" reason to bring your daughter to the store.

Remember, your husband was now on someone else's property, and may have been intimidating to the workers. You could have done the same IF the delivery person came into YOUR home and became intimidating.

But, your husband PURPOSEFULLY placed himself, and your daughter INTO this situation. There was NO reason to bring your daughter to the store, knowing what your husband's intent was in going there in the first place.

Lessons can be learned at home. Your husband didn't have to "thrust" your daughter into a real life situation.

From a "legal" standpoint, your husband caused this problem, and no one else.

IAAL

 

[HomeGuru]

Writer, your BS is BS. We all know that we are hearing the one-sided story. In any case, you and your husband are at fault. When confrontation is an action totally cause by your husband, leave your daughter at home or with a baby sitter.

 

[kristia]

no clue to the original statement

There was no confrontation to start with!!!!!! Entering the store is yes their property, and there is not even a legal stand-point to call the police when there is no threat. When you enter a store and begin to threaten, or have previously threaten, then yes there would be a need to be on your guard and to possible call the cops. There was never a threat made by my husband or daughter. ...

The leaving the daughter with the baby-sitter. HA

The daughter was right there standing with the pizza delivery guy and her father, she knows that the driver was lying as well. There was no fault on my husband's part to going to ask the driver and manager why they said falsified information and why they would not bring out our pizza, when they waisted over 3 hours out of our night. So when you take a product back to Wal-mart because it is defective, or was offended by a employee at a store, you leave a child involved at home.

Obviously, this is a joke sight, with members that seem to have no life whatsoever. Here's a bit of advise obtain a hobby other than this one.

Thanks for nothing, actually I apologize, I had mistakenly forgot to read the bottom of this page which quotes
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You all are just consumers, I thought this actually contained some people with valuable information. I will take their advice and contact someone with real advice.

Thank you for a small bit of entertainment, it has been very comical.

Good-bye and seriously consider thinking about spending your time in a more constructive manner, I know I now have waisted a couple of hours of my time with this.

 

[hexeliebe]

kristia, this is a perfect example of why we just don't give a damn sometimes.

Do yourself a favor and go back to school for your Masters. Then maybe you can counsel yourself.

The problem with this entire thread is that you keep trying to find excuses for not taking responsibility and that's a shame. Because your daughter will be paying the price for your battles.

Happy Therapy.