The matter here is not only about you, it's your children. Although you made a bad decision in trying to provide for them, you have made matters worse. What's done is done and you trying to make it right doesn't matter. You committed a Felony. Yes, it is a strong possibility that you may go to jail, get a fine and possibly other punishments, such as attending some sort of behavioral counseling sessions along with probation. I hope the children's father is able to care for them while you're incarcerated if that is the outcome. To add to your problems, you have pretty much ruined your opportunities with employers, no one will trust you. You now have a record that will follow you indefinately. You say you are not a criminal, but you are. As far as a public defender, you have no choice. The out come will probably be the same even if you were able to retain an attorney. To ease your pain and denial in the matter, think of the worst that could happen. If you get off without jail time, it would be more of a relief for you. I strongly suggest that you embrace the fact that you are a criminal. A label that you can never shed. After you get through this situation, hopefully it will be X-Criminal permenantly (Lesson Learned). Think about the possibility of losing your children because of your bad choices, it could happen. Hopefully the Judge will have so mercy on you. Your life is pretty much in his or her hands.
Good luck to you and your children.
