13 yr old son refuses to visit?

[mnm681]

What is the name of your state? New York
I received custody of My 13 yr old son in January after his mother was found guilty of neglect, she handed him over and she lost 2 other children whom she gets supervised visits with now. Our visitation is set up for any agreed upon day, but my son doesn't want anything to do with her. He won't talk to her, has told me he would run away if I forced him, I don't want to force him, so now it has been 8 months, she has called like once a month and has been using drugs and really is a mess. I put my son in counseling, but am afraid that she'll take me to court, does my son have a say? Please help me, I only want what's best for my son.

 

[4nomore]

My advice for you ,is to get supervised visits with the mother. Please try to encourage your son to go. Kids need a relationship with both parents no matter how messed up they might be

 

[titansfan]

not untill hes 18

if mom has court ordered visitation, he goes, or you could be held in contempt, and face fines, jail time, or loss of custody. untill the order is modified or your son turns 18, whichever comes first, the court order MUST be followed.kids dont get to decide visitation.

 

[legalcuriosity]

.kids dont get to decide visitation.

Umm...not entirely true and you know that. As kids get older (at least 15), what their activities are, etc. and depending on the Judge, they very well can determine visitation.

 

[BL]

If the order truly State's upon agreed times for visitations , you could not be held in contempt for not sending the child .

It sounds like the Judge purposely made such a unspecified order to protect the child from undue emotional harm and neglect .

In order for a Party to be held in contempt there has to be a clear and proscribed order , and the Party has to be aware of the order .

Here, there is NO specified and clear order .

If this is truly an issue , you should file for a modification , talk it over with the child's therapist , and have the Court Order any visitation are to be approved by and through the child's therapist , until any other recommendation by the therapist .

Then it is likely unless the mother is willing to participate in the therapy sessions with the child , the therapist will not deal with the mother herself at all.

But really as it stands , unless there is some other specific orders, you could not be held in contempt for not agreeing to visits .

 

[mnm681]

13yr old son refuses to visit

the exact words of the order are "that Respondent mother is hereby granted the right of reasonable visitation at such times and upon such conditions as the parties may agree." Also, since I have had custody she has not once asked for visitation, she continues to agree that my son needs some time(when she calls once a month!). But, I am worried that she may change her mind. But, I know that she has her visits for her other 2 children supervised by CPS and she must pass a urine test before visits(2hrs prior). Also, I live 100 miles from her and where her other kids live, so I am in another county(different court, different CPS office). i don't know, I have told her to try to write letters, she has sent ONE CARD! It just seems like this is almost abandonment, i am really upset about this whole situation. Any more replies would be greatly appreciated.

 

[titansfan]

to legalcuriousity

sorry legalcuriousity youre wrong-mom's visitation superseedes the kids activities. if its moms visitation day, she is not required to take her son to the activity.its her time with the kid, and she can do what she pleases.kids DO NOT get to decide visitation, as i said before. if the kid decided he didnt want to go to school would the father make him stay home? let the kid decide he isnt going to see mom, and see how fast dad gets hauled into court on contempt charges.