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  1. #1
    14yrold Guest

    14 yr old refuses to go back to custodial parent

    What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? SC

    My 14 yr old daughter is currently visiting me (non-custodial parent) in WA and refuses to return to her father (custodial parent) in SC. She is supposed to return on August 14 to SC. She wants to live with me in WA. She refuses to go back. What are her rights in SC, the state which holds jurisdiction over the custody case. Will I be charged with violating the order even if I try to make her go back to her father and she refuses? She says she will run away if she has to go back to SC.
  2. #2
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    You're bound by the court order to return her. Why doesnt' she want to go back? Does she realize the consequences to you if you don't send her back, or herself if she runs away?
  3. #3
    14yrold Guest

    14 yr old refuses to return

    SC

    Because she wants to live with her mother during high school. She is extremely unhappy with her living situation in SC. She says her stepmother hates her and treats her badly and her father refuses to acknowledge this or intervene. She says she never gets to see her father because he is too busy for her. She misses me deeply and wants to stay with me. She is dead set on not returning to what she describes as a miserable situation. She is very happy and well cared for here.
  4. #4
    Tayla is offline Member
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    Have you spoken to the custodial parent on the childs' request to want to stay with you? Would he consider joint custody? Giving you both certain priveledges and rights. Having primary custody puts him at an advantage for filing charges if she isnt returned in accordance with the custody agreement. Seek legal advise if you want her staying with you on a permanent basis.
  5. #5
    Kevmar44 is offline Member
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    14 year old refuses to go back

    My son will soon be 13 and I have the same situation. This is the first time he had to spend the summer at dads and hates it. New wife is a control freak and dad will not stand up for him. Told his own son if he had to chose between him and new wife he would pick her. Last summer she knocked him down and ripped a $5.00 Wal-Mart necklace off of him because they didn't want him to wear it to my house. Two weeks ago he ran away from their house (at 10:30 at night) and called me to come get him. I had no choice but to take him to the police station and they called his dad (who threatened me with kidnapping!) and he had to go back. That was two weeks ago and I have no idea what is gone on in my sons life since because my ex doesn't allow me phone contact with him! He's a real nice guy. NOT. We were separated for 3 years and got along great for our son and the past 3 years since he's been with this wench and let her take over it has been a total living hell. I understand all the people out there that say kids need both parents but when one is an a-hole I feel they can live without. It's not like he is a good roll model, inspiration or anything I want my son to be. Thank God I married a man who shows my son the REAL way to be a father because he will never learn that from his dad no matter how many times he is forced to be with him.
  6. #6
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    14yo - you would have to file for a change in custody. If Dad agrees to it, then she can likely stay while it's making it's way through the courts. But if not - she has to go back until the judge makes his decision.
  7. #7
    Shay-Pari'e is offline Senior Member
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    As Stealth said, but you need to understand something. Emotions of all involved set aside, if your daughter is not home at the scheduled time you are facing charges. Serious charges I may add. Child stealing and abduction. I am giving you the outcome if the CP presses charges.

    Once she is home, you can file for anything you like in the courts. At this point we all know what teenagers are like. I see nothing abusive in her home, just the normal teen girl and Step Mom issues.

    Avoid serious problems and send your daughter home, at her age she is on vacation with you and you need to recognize the manipulation of teen's.
    Last edited by Shay-Pari'e; 08-13-2004 at 02:38 AM.
  8. #8
    PADadandMom Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by 14yrold
    What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? SC

    My 14 yr old daughter is currently visiting me (non-custodial parent) in WA and refuses to return to her father (custodial parent) in SC. She is supposed to return on August 14 to SC. She wants to live with me in WA. She refuses to go back. What are her rights in SC, the state which holds jurisdiction over the custody case. Will I be charged with violating the order even if I try to make her go back to her father and she refuses? She says she will run away if she has to go back to SC.

    Since CP live in original state, they have jurisdiction. The ONLY thing you can do is 1) File for Physical custody, 2) Get her to a psycho-therapist 3) document her allegations.

    If she really wants to live with you and the judge hears from her, you will be most likely to get her. But keep in mind there will always be differences when there are mixed families. You must send her back unless you can somehow get an Emergency Stay of Status Quo until a court hearing is set and heard. Your best bet is to visit a lawyer quick and find out your best plan.
  9. #9
    SkrewBall Guest

    Wink Consider all possible reasons

    14 is a very difficult age for girls. Have you spoken to your ex about your daughter's claims? If she has lived with him all of these years, why does she want a change now. Is the situation actually as bad as she makes it out to be? Do not make the mistake of wanting your daughter to want to be with you so badly, that you get tricked by a teenager who is rebelling against rules that in her infinite teenage wisdom she does not agree with. It may well be that her step-mother is a horrible person. It may also be that teenage girls resent and resist supervision and rules, and tend to be very confrontational. Talk to your ex calmly. Find ot his side of the story. Make sure that you are not being manipulateeed by a teenager who is just trying to find a way to get away from a daddy who isn't trying to have his daughter rush to be too grown too fast. Because she is happy and well taken care of with you does not mean she is not well taken care of with Dad. You may find yourself with an unruly teenager on your hands if you get her with you, once you are no longer the weekend parent and have to enforce the everyday rules...which are always more strict. I'm not saying she is lying. I have no way of knowing that. I'm just suggesting that you check the story out first.
  10. #10
    14yrold Guest

    14yrold refuses to go back to custodial parent

    Thank you for all your comments, you have helped me. The latest news is good but I still have questions.

    Her father just emailed me a letter stating that if I agree to his terms, then he agrees she can stay with me and does not have to return to him tonight as scheduled. His terms are reasonable and I will agree. It is Saturday so I can not speak with an attorney today and her return flight is scheduled for this evening. Is the email and attached letter he sent stating if I agree thn she can stay with me enough for me right now to not retrun her to SC? I understand I will have to get an attorney to make the necessary changes in our custody agreement for it to be legal. What should I do today?
  11. #11
    LdiJ is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 14yrold
    Thank you for all your comments, you have helped me. The latest news is good but I still have questions.

    Her father just emailed me a letter stating that if I agree to his terms, then he agrees she can stay with me and does not have to return to him tonight as scheduled. His terms are reasonable and I will agree. It is Saturday so I can not speak with an attorney today and her return flight is scheduled for this evening. Is the email and attached letter he sent stating if I agree thn she can stay with me enough for me right now to not retrun her to SC? I understand I will have to get an attorney to make the necessary changes in our custody agreement for it to be legal. What should I do today?
    That is certainly enough to not put her on the plane today. You will need to firm up the agreement with him in order for it to be enough to keep her there for school enrollment.
  12. #12
    14yrold Guest

    14 yr old refuses to return to custodial father

    Does anyone else agree that I do not have to return my daughter to SC?
  13. #13
    kidoday is offline Senior Member
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    Since you have it in writing that he agrees for her to live with you, I believe you don't have to put her on the plane tonight. I however, would put it in an email telling him you agree with his terms and you will not be putting her on the plane tonight, ask him to respond that that is acceptable and you will discuss everything with an attorney come Monday.
  14. #14
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    That's what I'd do, too.

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