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  1. #1
    dpacechapman is offline Junior Member
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    15 yr old refuses not to visit with parent

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

    Father has full physical custody and full legal custody. Mother has limited visitations. Son has a limited choice of friends in his hometown and chose to live in Portland with his older brother who is 30 yrs old. Father gives older brother Temporary Assignment of Guardianship over to older brother. 15 yr old now has hundreds of friends … his support system. 15 yr old is in high school and is motivated to complete his education. 15 yr old is afraid that mother is going to ruin what he has going for himself. Minor feels emotionally threatened by mother's behavior. Mother is a prescription addict. She has been evicted three to four times. She is constantly telling him that she is going to die. She has been telling him this since 2000. She says many similar type statements that are upsetting to minor. Every time she communicates with him, he is emotionally disturbed by her choice of topics and demeanor. Consequently, 15 yr old refuses to visit with his mother. 15 yr old states, “as long as she continues to act crazy, I do not want to visit with her … she needs to try and build trust with me….”

    Does minor have the right of choice NOT to visit with his mother in this case? If so, what case law is there for support?
    Last edited by dpacechapman; 03-09-2009 at 11:30 PM.
  2. #2
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Now THIS is craptastic parenting. Congrats OP.

    And who, exactly, is "we"?

    (btw - they don't like "bite me" on this board. Trust me on that!)
  3. #3
    dpacechapman is offline Junior Member
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    Personally Judgemental and abusive. Not legally germane. I am looking for case law. That is why I posted the Question. Obviously, you both are bias and lack objectivity to the issue. I am sorry that I signed up with this site. It is obvious that you are not legal minds. If you are, you should not be.
  4. #4
    CourtClerk is offline Senior Member
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    findlaw has case law. so does lexis nexis.
  5. #5
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    15 yr old refuses not to visit with parent
    BTW - it helps to understand what you actually wrote. Your topic heading states that your child DOES visit his Mom, and refuses to not do so.

    And no, he does not have the right to choose not to see her, if there is a court order stating that he shall. Your decision to support his recalcitrance would likely be viewed as contempt of the order. Which could land kiddo living with Mom.

    What do you do when the kid decides he doesn't want to go to school? Or the doctor? Or dentist? Is he allowed all of those choices, as well? Oh wait - you've already abdicated parenting to someone else. Nice.
  6. #6
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    BTW - it helps to understand what you actually wrote. Your topic heading states that your child DOES visit his Mom, and refuses to not do so.

    And no, he does not have the right to choose not to see her, if there is a court order stating that he shall. Your decision to support his recalcitrance would likely be viewed as contempt of the order. Which could land kiddo living with Mom.

    What do you do when the kid decides he doesn't want to go to school? Or the doctor? Or dentist? Is he allowed all of those choices, as well? Oh wait - you've already abdicated parenting to someone else. Nice.
    Right.....so dad, tell us exactly what the court order says regarding visitation for mom.
  7. #7
    tornado88 is offline Member
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    Are we sure this is even dad? My impression is that it is the older brother.
  8. #8
    janM is offline Member
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    Did Mom have any say in the guardianship? Give her approval? Was she served?
  9. #9
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tornado88 View Post
    Are we sure this is even dad? My impression is that it is the older brother.
    Oh, see, I thought it was the 15 year old trying to SOUND like a grown-up.

    Anyway, it's true that the 15 year old CAN choose to live wherever he wants and choose to visit or not w/his Mother. As long as he's willing to face each and every consequence for those actions including being forced by the courts to LIVE WITH HIS MOM or return to his father's home - the whole 'limited choice of friends' not really being a consideration the courts give a rat's patootie about.
  10. #10
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    15 year old is spoiled.

    Mom, for all her warts, is mom. Mom may decide that brother no longer gets to have guardianship.

    Judge awards full custody to Mom. 15 year old gets to live with mom. Even if his friends are "limited" and it isn't as much fun as living with an older brother in another city.

    Older brother is not a parent. Older brother really doesn't have much of a say in this.

    Dad has abandoned the child. Dad really won't have very much say in this except to take his medicine from the judge.

    15 year old better get over his damn self.

    Why are we all talking in the third person?
  11. #11
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJane View Post
    Oh, see, I thought it was the 15 year old trying to SOUND like a grown-up.

    Anyway, it's true that the 15 year old CAN choose to live wherever he wants and choose to visit or not w/his Mother. As long as he's willing to face each and every consequence for those actions including being forced by the courts to LIVE WITH HIS MOM or return to his father's home - the whole 'limited choice of friends' not really being a consideration the courts give a rat's patootie about.
    Please state the statutes or case law that gives a 15 year old child the legal right to choose where he/she lives and can choose whether or not to be associated with his/her parents.

    Thanks.
  12. #12
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by dpacechapman View Post
    Personally Judgemental and abusive. Not legally germane. I am looking for case law. That is why I posted the Question. Obviously, you both are bias and lack objectivity to the issue. I am sorry that I signed up with this site. It is obvious that you are not legal minds. If you are, you should not be.
    There is no case law that allows a 15 year old to make any decisions about his relationship with his parents except that they do what they tell him to do.

    Except in cases of abuse (which this doesn't even approach), he gets to act like the child he is.

    You better get over yourself. If you think WE are rough, wait until a judge get a hold of this situation.
  13. #13
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyjeff View Post
    Please state the statutes or case law that gives a 15 year old child the legal right to choose where he/she lives and can choose whether or not to be associated with his/her parents.

    Thanks.
    Check your reading comprehension skills, k?

    FATHER has NOT abandoned the child. FATHER has signed guardianship over to SIBLING. That is NOT abandonment. It might not be BINDING, but it is IN NO WAY abandonment.

    The Child ABSOLUTELY CAN CHOOSE where he's going to live - he has the PHYSICAL ABILITY to make those choices. In so doing. 15 year old should be ready to accept the consequences of his choices INCLUDING (but certainly not limited to) court action on Mom's part.

    HOWEVER, if Mom - for whatever reason - chooses NOT to initiate court action, there will be no LEGAL consequences for the child. LEGALLY, this will only be an issue if/when MOM decides to make it one.

    Where was I unclear?
  14. #14
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJane View Post
    Check your reading comprehension skills, k?

    FATHER has NOT abandoned the child. FATHER has signed guardianship over to SIBLING. That is NOT abandonment. It might not be BINDING, but it is IN NO WAY abandonment.

    The Child ABSOLUTELY CAN CHOOSE where he's going to live - he has the PHYSICAL ABILITY to make those choices. In so doing. 15 year old should be ready to accept the consequences of his choices INCLUDING (but certainly not limited to) court action on Mom's part.

    HOWEVER, if Mom - for whatever reason - chooses NOT to initiate court action, there will be no LEGAL consequences for the child. LEGALLY, this will only be an issue if/when MOM decides to make it one.

    Where was I unclear?
    Please state the statutes or case law that gives a 15 year old child the legal right to choose where he/she lives and can choose whether or not to be associated with his/her parents.

    Thanks.
  15. #15
    CJane is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyjeff View Post
    Please state the statutes or case law that gives a 15 year old child the legal right to choose where he/she lives and can choose whether or not to be associated with his/her parents.

    Thanks.
    Want me to also post statutes or case law that state people can CHOOSE to speed in their cars? Or CHOOSE to deal drugs w/in 100ft of a school? Or CHOOSE to beat the crap out of some random homeless guy and upload the video to youtube?

    This is ONLY going to become a LEGAL ISSUE if MOM CHOOSES TO MAKE IT SO. As of right this very second, it does not appear to BE a legal issue as it does not appear that MOM has filed anything. Therefore RIGHT THIS SECOND, the child CAN CHOOSE and IS IN FACT currently CHOOSING where to live.
    Last edited by m martin; 03-11-2009 at 10:33 AM.

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