Is 16 old enough to make permanent decisions

[77ranch]

What is the name of your state? Texas

This is a long story that I will try to condense. My daughter has been the only "mother" that my grand daughter (shown as A) has ever known. My daughter married the A's father when A was 2. The bio-mom is a drunken, drug using whore that was more than willing to let someone else be responsible for her daughter as long as she could play mommy dearest when it suited her. My daughter and her husband obtained full custody when A was in 6th grade. She has lived with my daughter from that time until October 2005 (she was 14 then). My son-in-law got "hooked" on pain killers and one night rammed his car into their house, busted through the windows and subsequently murdered my grandson (6 years old) and then turned the gun on himself. The bio-mom went to court and took A from us. We have been in court since to get her back - AND SHE WANTS TO COME BACK - but the courts just can't believe that a child would rather stay with her "step-mom" than her own bio-mom. She has a court appointed ad-lidem who is a joke - he has his own agenda!! Cut to the chase - she wants to come home, we want her home - she turned 16 in March - what options do we have; what options does A have?? We are tired of spinning our wheels. Thanks for any advice you can send our way.

[Blue Meanie]

You and your daughter have no right to the girl, but in 2 years when she is 18 she can make the decision for herself.

I am very sorry about the loss of your grandson....

[casa]

Originally Posted by 77ranch

What is the name of your state? Texas

This is a long story that I will try to condense. My daughter has been the only "mother" that my grand daughter (shown as A) has ever known. My daughter married the A's father when A was 2. The bio-mom is a drunken, drug using whore that was more than willing to let someone else be responsible for her daughter as long as she could play mommy dearest when it suited her. My daughter and her husband obtained full custody when A was in 6th grade. She has lived with my daughter from that time until October 2005 (she was 14 then). My son-in-law got "hooked" on pain killers and one night rammed his car into their house, busted through the windows and subsequently murdered my grandson (6 years old) and then turned the gun on himself. The bio-mom went to court and took A from us. We have been in court since to get her back - AND SHE WANTS TO COME BACK - but the courts just can't believe that a child would rather stay with her "step-mom" than her own bio-mom. She has a court appointed ad-lidem who is a joke - he has his own agenda!! Cut to the chase - she wants to come home, we want her home - she turned 16 in March - what options do we have; what options does A have?? We are tired of spinning our wheels. Thanks for any advice you can send our way.

Unfortunately in this case, bio Mom's constitutional Right to be a parent are outranking step-mom's desire to continue to parent this child who she is a 'legal stranger' to. If a GAL has been appointed~ then you'll all have to wait & see what he recommends to the court re; Custody of the child.

I also agree with baystategirl~ This child will no longer be a minor in 2 yrs & will definately be able to make that decision then.

Please come back to let us know what the Court decided.

[77ranch]

Thank you both for your responses. I understand what you are saying but with the lifestyle and lack of morals that the bio-mom displays - 18 may be too late to "save" A. What can make the courts see the destruction taking place? Her bio-mom has already "lied" and had her committed for psychiatric evaluation so A is afraid to make too many waves. The bio-mom has had 8 live-in boyfriends in the last 6 months and she and the latest smoke pot in front of A and A's friends as well as A's half-brother (age 9). It is a terrible situation. The bio-mom is very street smart and always comes out on top even with CPS

[casa]

Originally Posted by 77ranch

Thank you both for your responses. I understand what you are saying but with the lifestyle and lack of morals that the bio-mom displays - 18 may be too late to "save" A. What can make the courts see the destruction taking place? Her bio-mom has already "lied" and had her committed for psychiatric evaluation so A is afraid to make too many waves. The bio-mom has had 8 live-in boyfriends in the last 6 months and she and the latest smoke pot in front of A and A's friends as well as A's half-brother (age 9). It is a terrible situation. The bio-mom is very street smart and always comes out on top even with CPS

Unfortunately all this could have ended differently if son & step-mom would have filed to Terminate Mom's Parental Rights when she gone ~ and had stepmom-mom adopt. Then, step-mom would be the Legal Mom and bio. Mom would have no sayso. Just so you know there are ways for truly fit step-parents to become legal parents when a bio. has a history such as this one.

There is A LOT of loss in this girl's world~ I hope the GAL does the Right thing by her.