23/m/ca Citizen wants custody from non-citizen mother

[pimppapy]

What is the name of your state? California

My son lives in Tijuana with his mother. i dont have any complaints as to his security with the family ( other then the amazing pessimism in their family ).we get along well. we just dont agree on his upbringing. i want my son to live here in San Diego with me so i can place him in a school which i think would be proper. and somewhere where he is inside the United States. but they dont agree to that. i dont approve of him living in Mexico as i seen by my own eyes the dangers a third world country contains. on 2 occasions in the times that i go to visit him i saw him nearly get ran over. and he got bitten once by a stray dog. luckily it wasnt rabid. my dillema is that i dont want him to get cheap education and i dont want to wait for something to actually happen to him for me to do something about it.

when his mother and I were together on many (separate) occasions i asked " what would you do if i gained custody? " to which i always received the same reply. " i would take him and dissappear into mexico" she has tried to intimidate me with the knowledge that her brother works in the Mexican Government. honestly. . . he does! and if she would actually attempt to disapear i believe that she could considering all logic.

here's the real problem the moment i attempt any legal action and the mother finds out about it while he is in her possesion. i know i will lose my child forever.

*******
Me: US/Jordanian Citizen, Legal Father Paternity Established Since Birth
Her: Mexican Citizen Only
My Son: US/Mexican Citizen ( which was done behind my back right after he was born. in her brothers Office )

[email protected]

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? California

My son lives in Tijuana with his mother. i dont have any complaints as to his security with the family ( other then the amazing pessimism in their family ).we get along well. we just dont agree on his upbringing. i want my son to live here in San Diego with me so i can place him in a school which i think would be proper. and somewhere where he is inside the United States. but they dont agree to that. i dont approve of him living in Mexico as i seen by my own eyes the dangers a third world country contains. on 2 occasions in the times that i go to visit him i saw him nearly get ran over. and he got bitten once by a stray dog. luckily it wasnt rabid. my dillema is that i dont want him to get cheap education and i dont want to wait for something to actually happen to him for me to do something about it.

when his mother and I were together on many (separate) occasions i asked " what would you do if i gained custody? " to which i always received the same reply. " i would take him and dissappear into mexico" she has tried to intimidate me with the knowledge that her brother works in the Mexican Government. honestly. . . he does! and if she would actually attempt to disapear i believe that she could considering all logic.

here's the real problem the moment i attempt any legal action and the mother finds out about it while he is in her possesion. i know i will lose my child forever.

*******
Me: US/Jordanian Citizen, Legal Father Paternity Established Since Birth
Her: Mexican Citizen Only
My Son: US/Mexican Citizen ( which was done behind my back right after he was born. in her brothers Office )

[email protected]

Well, it appears that your son is a legal resident of Mexico. Therefore Mexican law would apply as Mexico would have jurisdiction. Since this is a site for US law only, we aren't going to be of much use to you.

However, I will tell you that the odds of a judge giving custody of a child to a parent who doesn't live in the child's country of residence is likely to be slim.

The only exception to that might be if your son was born in the US, and is less than 2 years of age now...however it doesn't sound like that is the case.

If you are concerned about his education, I suspect that you could probably provide the funds rather cheaply for him to have a private school education.
The dollar goes a long way in Mexico.

 

[pimppapy]

its not only his education that im worried about. like i said. its his safety in being in a country where driving laws dont exist. and where human rights is weak. every once in a while i bring him to my home in san diego. he comes to the US like every other week. its just that they wont let him live with me so he can come to school here. thats why i want to take matters into my own hands and keep him here legally.

 

[LdiJ]

its not only his education that im worried about. like i said. its his safety in being in a country where driving laws dont exist. and where human rights is weak. every once in a while i bring him to my home in san diego. he comes to the US like every other week. its just that they wont let him live with me so he can come to school here. thats why i want to take matters into my own hands and keep him here legally.

You aren't understanding what I am saying. Apparently your child is a legal resident of Mexico and the Mexican courts have jurisdiction regarding your child.

This site is for US law only. We can't advise you regarding Mexican law.

However, I will tell you honestly that I don't think that any parents would willingly agree to give pri**** custody to the other parent if the other parent lived in another country.

I will also advise you not to be foolish and attempt to simply keep your child without an order from a Mexican court giving you pri**** custody. That would only get you in MAJOR trouble, in both countries.

 

[pimppapy]

so what your saying is that a mexican citizenship overrules and american citizenship? he was born here in california. his first citizenship was an american one and it was by birth. his mexican citizenship is by naturalization. so even tho he is a US citizen, it doesnt matter?

 

[LdiJ]

so what your saying is that a mexican citizenship overrules and american citizenship? he was born here in california. his first citizenship was an american one and it was by birth. his mexican citizenship is by naturalization. so even tho he is a US citizen, it doesnt matter?

You are mixing up citizenship with jurisdiction.

His citizenship has nothing whatsoever to do with jurisdiction. You are also incorrect that his Mexican citizenship is by naturalization. He was born to a mother of Mexican citizenship. That automatically gave him rights to Mexican citizenship without requiring any process of "naturalization". As far as citizenship is concerned neither country overrules the other. However we aren't talking about citizenship, we are talking about jurisdiction.

My daughter, at birth, was the child of an American mother and an Italian father. She was entitled to citizenship in both countries had we (or her father with or without my consent) chosen to register her in both countries. Neither citizenship would have "trumped" the other.

In your case, your child could even have been a citizen of three countries (the US, Mexico and Jordan)

The Hague Convention rules here. (an international treaty regarding jurisdiction in child custody matters, and Mexico and the US are both signatories to that treaty).

Under the Hague Convention the country that has jurisdiction is the country of the child's "habitual" residence. Under the Hague Convention rules that means the country where the child has resided for the last two years....or if the child is not yet two years old, the country where the child was born. (and that part is somewhat questionable)

YOU NEED AN ATTORNEY IN MEXICO.

 

[AHA]

its not only his education that im worried about. like i said. its his safety in being in a country where driving laws dont exist. and where human rights is weak. every once in a while i bring him to my home in san diego. he comes to the US like every other week. its just that they wont let him live with me so he can come to school here. thats why i want to take matters into my own hands and keep him here legally.

If you don't mom to have custody and don't want your kid living in Mexico, why did you agree to it?
You say the kid was born in the US, but you obviously didn't fight for either custody or prevention from mom to take child abroad. You should have been more active and shown more interest while the child was still in the US, that would have given you a bigger chance.

 

[pimppapy]

i guess i should say the whole story to make it clear. Im an Arab male and she's a mexican women.
i was 19 years old at the time
she was 23 ( yeah i know , dont say anything about it )
i was a virgin
she wasnt
she got pregnant.
then we got married ( not legally ) thru my religion.
her family hated me but never came clean about it. anything they did was behind my back. we got along real well. but her mother decided to live with us ( in san diego ) before he was born. i thought that it would be a great opportunity to improve my relationship with her family. it never happened. my son was born. a month later we got separated but we were still, in a sense, married. we just lived separately. i couldnt handle the fact that her side of the family lived with us. i didnt want "her" to choose between her family and me as i didnt want her to lose "her" family. so i decided for her. ( i said her way too many times ) she went back to live with her parents and me with mine. over the last three years it deteriorated. so we are completly separated in all senses. we talk things thru like adults. its just that they will not agree to him living with me here in San Diego. they will "allow" me to put him in a school of my choice so long as i cross the border 3 AM in the morning to pick him up and cross again in the afternoon to bring him back. which would be an near impossible thing to do everyday.

so that about sums it all up. thats why i needed to know if i can gain custody of him.