4hr custody trial

[sunwing]

What is the name of your state? Hawaii

So the time has finally come after 3yrs of trying to mediate and getting a GAL (that ran off with my money), and my ex refusing to give me any info about my two boys, and all the change in circumstances (on her part), the judge is finally fed up and will make a ruling, but will give us a chance to plead a case as to why the best interest of the boys should be with me.

At this moment my ex has moved back in with her parents house, (for the 2nd time this year), has gone thru 2or 3 boyfriends, and is currently holding down 3jobs. Not to mention because of all of the above, boys do not see mom at all except on pick up and drop off. And my youngest (who needs to be tested for ADHD) has been disturbed to the point to where it is affecting his school work. Those are just a few of the new situations that has arised since I wrote last.

Custody trial is in a week and a half. any advice for me so i don't piss off the judge. and make it sound like i'm just pointing and waving a finger at my ex.
Where in this case do i start? what begining? beginning of visitation or childrens life?
And paperwork from schools, policereports, and visitation/comunication log that i want the judge to see can i just bring it to the trial or am i supposed to file it earlier?

 

[CJane]

Could you, perhaps summarize all of these threads

https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=1613248

so that we can more properly help you w/out having to read them all?

 

[sunwing]

I started having problems with my ex from the first time i started getting visitation. I have police reports stating times her parents and her refused to give me visitation. Also they were constantly bad mouthing me in front of my boys, and telling them that daddy is a bad man, whenever they see me in public they tell them don't look at him he only wants to take you away from me.

I originally filed a year ago for full legal and physical custody of my two boys age 5 and 7. first reason was because i had proof that my oldest son was not living with his mother. shortly after our last parenting plan was finalized she moved out of her parents house with her new/old boyfriend ( they broke up in less than 6 mnths) and only took my youngest son with her.
proof: a document from my 7 yr olds school stating that he has been having problems in school and that they acnowledged that he was living with grandma and not mom.
I already have joint legal custody and before getting every other week visitation my ex went ahead and registered my boys for a school out of our district, and got a geographical exception without discussing it with me. which i now see is fine because on my weeks, dispite other problems with school and having only one vihecle in the household I take them to and from school on my own. She doesn't her parents do.
she was ordered also to give me their medical info (cards, shot rec. ect.) i had to find the info on my own. no proof of me doing so.

A month and a half before now i find out that she has had one other boyfriend, got kicked out of her apt. moved back in with her parents and is now working 3 jobs. She has now created and unstable enviroment for my youngest son which is now starting to have problems in school. (got statement from teacher stating dramatic change in his behavior.)
we tried mediation twice. didn't work. we had a guardian ad litem. she ran off with our money. now we have a trial where i will have 2 hrs to plead my case and tell the judge why i should have custody of my two boys.

Where do i start?
how do i tell the judge all of this and more without looking like i am attacking their mother?
how do i win the judge over and make sure this doesn't go bad for my kids sake?
HELP

 

[sunwing]

after a custody hearing/child, can a judge order a social study on what is the best for children?
or would he have done it before wanting to hear our concerns/complaints?
whats the worse that can happen here?
can anyone help?

 

[LdiJ]

after a custody hearing/child, can a judge order a social study on what is the best for children?
or would he have done it before wanting to hear our concerns/complaints?
whats the worse that can happen here?
can anyone help?

Normally a judge would do that prior to scheduling an evidentiary hearing. Therefore its not very likely that it would happen now. However, if the evidence produced in the hearing leads the judge to believe that one is needed, the judge would still have the authority to do so.

 

[sunwing]

do i make copies of documents that i want to show the judge to prove certain acusations?
and how many copies do i need? should i have filed it before the court hearing, or will he still look at them?

 

[Ohiogal]

do i make copies of documents that i want to show the judge to prove certain acusations?
and how many copies do i need? should i have filed it before the court hearing, or will he still look at them?

READ YOUR LOCAL RULES and READ THE RULES OF EVIDENCE!

 

[sunwing]

where do i find the LOCAL RULES and RULES OF EVIDENCE?

 

[escape2paradise]

where do i find the LOCAL RULES and RULES OF EVIDENCE?

Sometimes you can find this info online, some counties have this info on their websites. In other counties you will need to go down to the court house and see if they have a facilitator there that can guide you in the right direction.

 

[sunwing]

yeah

went to my hearing and stated all my concerns about my boys, it was very hard not to point a finger at my ex as much as i wanted to. but i did it. and, yeah, I was awarded full physical custody and she has reasonable visitation on her days off. The order also states that no child support shall be charged to either party, and she must call me to tell me when her next day off is. oh, and legal custody is joint.

When is the order in effect? The day of ruling or after the ruling has been filed? Because for some reason the baliff didn't do it, I had to. So if it is after it has been filed i need to follow last parenting plan right?

Also how will i know when she is telling me the truth on her days off? Do I spy on her?

 

[Ohiogal]

went to my hearing and stated all my concerns about my boys, it was very hard not to point a finger at my ex as much as i wanted to. but i did it. and, yeah, I was awarded full physical custody and she has reasonable visitation on her days off. The order also states that no child support shall be charged to either party, and she must call me to tell me when her next day off is. oh, and legal custody is joint.

When is the order in effect? The day of ruling or after the ruling has been filed? Because for some reason the baliff didn't do it, I had to. So if it is after it has been filed i need to follow last parenting plan right?

Also how will i know when she is telling me the truth on her days off? Do I spy on her?

The enforceable date is when the agreement has been filed. However judges won't be too happy if individuals are playing games. Oh and why would you believe the baliff would file the ruling?
And no you do not spy on her. YOu have to have a bit of TRUST. You beleive it is her day off until you can prove otherwise. Got it?

 

[sunwing]

The enforceable date is when the agreement has been filed. However judges won't be too happy if individuals are playing games. Oh and why would you believe the baliff would file the ruling?
And no you do not spy on her. YOu have to have a bit of TRUST. You beleive it is her day off until you can prove otherwise. Got it?

Its just that my ex is now really pissed she taught everything was fine and that nothing would happen. Her simple mind led her to believe that raising our children in that situation was fine.
And I had no idea about more paper work! I taught judge ruled and that was it. I have never done this before. But i did it and without a lawyer.

Thank you guys for all your input over the last couple of years it helped alot. I know this is far from over, knowing my ex, but i have a good idea what can happen.
Thank you again.