50/50 custody with an infant???

[strongmom]

What is the name of your state? CA
I just went to court and received sole physical cutody of my 3 1/2 month old. The judge said The father got 20% visitation. The father is already talking about taking me right back to court b/c he wanted overnights. He did not get overnights, but the judge said they would start when the baby is nine months old. Is this the norm? Isn't nine months way too young???

My other questions is how long before the judge will award the father 50% custody? I heard 3 years old. What if the father is always late when dropping off our son? What if the fatehr never wants to compromise on anything? Won't the judge get mad?

Please help!

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? CA
I just went to court and received sole physical cutody of my 3 1/2 month old. The judge said The father got 20% visitation. The father is already talking about taking me right back to court b/c he wanted overnights. He did not get overnights, but the judge said they would start when the baby is nine months old. Is this the norm? Isn't nine months way too young???

>>No.

My other questions is how long before the judge will award the father 50% custody? I heard 3 years old. What if the father is always late when dropping off our son? What if the fatehr never wants to compromise on anything? Won't the judge get mad?

>> It's impossible to tell what the judge will do.

Please help!

 

[nextwife]

Honey, if you were together with him, he'd be parenting the child overnight and get to be a full-time oarent. Why should you get to be the ONLY parent that has an opportunity to experience all those special bonding moments that happen with an infant? Should they only belong to you? The child is 50% his. I'm sure you wish him to accept financial responsibility as a father. Why should he not get some of the pleasure of it too? Seeing his child's smile when they wake in the morning? Putting them down for bed, or rocking them and having them fall asleep in your arms? Should NONE of that belong to him? Should he only have the child after they are too old to hold in one arm?

I missed out on my daughter's first two years. It is time that I can never share with her. And sometimes it breaks my heart to think I never had that time with her. THis child has a right to have those special moments of their own with their daddy.

In the long run, statistically, the more involved the father is, the better they are about support and going over and above in involvement and paying toward extras, like college. Do your child a favor and foster the most sharing possible.

 

[Soon2BMom32604]

9 Mos. Too Young....

I am going through pretty much the same thing you are... Except, unfortunetely with an unborn child. I have been seeing an attorney & in my mind (& also many other parents minds)... 9 months is not too young!! I, as much as you, will worry about my baby being away on the overnights starting at 9 mos, but the father deserves to be a part of the baby's life, including overnights. How many overnights does he get per week? And, as far as the 50% parenting time... Of course, nobody can tell what the judge is going to do... But, in most cases (at least in the state of Colorado) they do not usually grant JOINT PHYSICAL custody - especially if the child is attending school. The child needs to have a "routine schedule" and (in most cases, not all) JOINT PHYSICAL custody does not give the child a "routine schedule." But, I'm not an expert on this, only know what my attorney (& I work at a law firm) have told me!! Good Luck!

 

[2children]

Think of it this way ... If you were still with the ex your telliing me you wouldn't trust him around the baby? Just enjoy the time you get to yourself and rest assured that your child is in the best care. I't's better than some babysitter not even related!