abusive ex filing for custody of child from previous relationship

[mommyor3]

What is the name of your state? AZ
I was checking the status of my xh court cases through public access to court records. I discovered that he is filing for custody of his son from a previous relationship. His grounds are that the child wants to live with him and that he and his current wife make more money and are more stable. I have called child protective services and there is currently an investigation, for abuse that he commited on our two children. Do i have a responsibility to say something to someone like my lawyer or the other child's mom about this case. I have witnessed him abusing this child also.

Is calling CPS enough? The other mom doesn't have the money for a lawyer and a bit of a shakey past. (rumors of drug use 4 children) I don't want to get into contact with her and jepordize my own case against him. I also don't want a child to go live with someone just because his dad can buy him more things then find out that it was all a lie and dad really is the same monster he used to be. The boy is 11 and rarely saw his father until a couple years ago. When he did see him things were not good.

If he were to get custody of this child would it affect my case?

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? AZ
I was checking the status of my xh court cases through public access to court records. I discovered that he is filing for custody of his son from a previous relationship. His grounds are that the child wants to live with him and that he and his current wife make more money and are more stable. I have called child protective services and there is currently an investigation, for abuse that he commited on our two children. Do i have a responsibility to say something to someone like my lawyer or the other child's mom about this case. I have witnessed him abusing this child also.

Is calling CPS enough? The other mom doesn't have the money for a lawyer and a bit of a shakey past. (rumors of drug use 4 children) I don't want to get into contact with her and jepordize my own case against him. I also don't want a child to go live with someone just because his dad can buy him more things then find out that it was all a lie and dad really is the same monster he used to be. The boy is 11 and rarely saw his father until a couple years ago. When he did see him things were not good.

If he were to get custody of this child would it affect my case?

You do not mention what state the X is filing for custody of his son from prev. relationship...but either way- there is no state which allows a child of age 11 yrs to determine where they reside. Making more money is not a custody determination. He'd have to prove "change of circumstance"...and that may be what he's attempting to do. Since you do not know if that Mom is actually a 'fit' parent- ie; health/welfare/education, etc. then it's impossible for any one of US to comment on her case.

Re; your case. Is there a Court Order for custody/visitation or is this what you are currently fighting with him about? Has he actually filed for custody of YOUR children together?

 

[mommyor3]

Sorry the state is AZ. The father resides in OK all children and cases are in AZ. I don't want to know anything about her case i just want to know should i alert someone that the abuse was happening. I called child protective services nearly a year ago and since she most likely can't get a lawyer any info she knows would be helpfull. Do I tell her about the abuse and CPS investigation or just let it go and hope she finds out on her own. I honestly believe the boy got hosed in the parental part of his life. They were 15 and 16 when he was born and neither one is too mature. In the state of arizona they do take the child's wishes into consideration it is stated in the state statutes. Of corse it is not the final say.

He filed something for custody of my children but they didn't send the entire thing so it was moot. Currently he has nothing filed but will eventually try again. If he were to get custody of his other child what affect would it have on our custody dispute if any?

 

[casa]

Sorry the state is AZ. The father resides in OK all children and cases are in AZ. I don't want to know anything about her case i just want to know should i alert someone that the abuse was happening. I called child protective services nearly a year ago and since she most likely can't get a lawyer any info she knows would be helpfull. Do I tell her about the abuse and CPS investigation or just let it go and hope she finds out on her own. I honestly believe the boy got hosed in the parental part of his life. They were 15 and 16 when he was born and neither one is too mature. In the state of arizona they do take the child's wishes into consideration it is stated in the state statutes. Of corse it is not the final say.

He filed something for custody of my children but they didn't send the entire thing so it was moot. Currently he has nothing filed but will eventually try again. If he were to get custody of his other child what affect would it have on our custody dispute if any?

It would have no effect on it. He's the NCP and you & the other mom are the CPs. If the NCP wants custody, he'll have to prove a significant change of circumstance in THAT child's life.

YOUR case is different- different CP, different child.

Of course you should notify CPS if there is abuse going on NOW.

 

[casa]

And 'taking a child's wishes into consideration' is NOT the same as allowing the child to CHOOSE what parent has custody. No more than when I 'take into consideration' my child's wishes to have ice-cream sundaes for breakfast. A judge (much like a parent) would only 'consider' their wishes ( and also consider WHY they wish what they want...their age...their maturity level, etc, etc. etc.), and would STILL rule what is in the "Best Interest" of the child(ren).

 

[mommyor3]

Would he be able to go to the judge in my case and say look i am a fit parent this court gave me custody of this child?

He makes claims that mom in the other case is emotionally unfit and on drugs. She has never been in trouble for any kind of drug. Of course she has emotional problems she is a single mother of 4 with only one father paying child support.

 

[casa]

Would he be able to go to the judge in my case and say look i am a fit parent this court gave me custody of this child?

He makes claims that mom in the other case is emotionally unfit and on drugs. She has never been in trouble for any kind of drug. Of course she has emotional problems she is a single mother of 4 with only one father paying child support.

OK, you are missing the point. It's YOU he has to declare UNFIT in order to get custody of YOUR two children together. Do you see what I mean? If a court finds the OTHER mother unfit, that doesn't have anything to do with YOU at all.

 

[mommyor3]

I do understand that. When he files for custody against me i am going to try to have his rights terminated. Which i understand may not happen because courts like to keep families together. He abused my children and they have told the councilor who says they should not go see him that they tell him they want nothing to do with him. We are hoping he ends up with supervised visits and therapy at the least. If he were to get custody of this other child will this make any issues for our case. I know he would have a fight to get custody of my children.

 

[casa]

I do understand that. When he files for custody against me i am going to try to have his rights terminated. Which i understand may not happen because courts like to keep families together. He abused my children and they have told the councilor who says they should not go see him that they tell him they want nothing to do with him. We are hoping he ends up with supervised visits and therapy at the least. If he were to get custody of this other child will this make any issues for our case. I know he would have a fight to get custody of my children.

You can look up Termination of Parental Rights for AZ online....and see what is required. If there is abuse, first you must prove it- then file in court to establish supervised visitation &/or parenting classes, etc. Typically you won't be able to TPR over alleged abuse only- bc as you said, there is a re-unification process where courts like to give parents a chance to amend the parent-child relationship.

Is CPS investigating re; YOUR children's abuse?

If he succeeds in changing custody for his prev. child...again that will have no bearing on YOU. YOU are not the other child's mother~ him proving her unfit has nothing to do with YOU. You already have custody of your two children together and if he were to file in an attempt to change that- then you will have evidence/documentation via the therapist that it would be unhealthy for the children and Not in their Best Interest.