Abusive ex PA

[Twinklex123]

I broke up with an abusive ex in April. Found out I was pregnant a month after leaving him. I was so panicked I considered abortion but I realised that's not me that I was considering it out if fear for the baby's well being. He is very selfish and he has 2 kids from a previous marriage ages 3 and 6 and he would always talk badly about their mom and call her a whore and more to them and make them feel guilty for having a friendship with her boyfriend. We always argued about this he also would emotional mentally and verbally abuse me. He is not afraid to put his hands on me either. His oldest would come to me and say sorry his dad was so mean to me. That and more (lying, cheating, manipulating, cocaine and alcohol abuse that I didnt know about) are the reasons I left him. I love this baby I am carrying so much and I am terrified because he keeps threatening me that he is going to go for 50% custody and his family is very wealthy and his mom is just as horrible as he is. She sees nothing he does as incorrect. Now every day he sends me text messages I do not EVER reply. But he will love me and miss me one day and the next I'm a whore and a **** and he's taking this baby from me. I am terrified to the point that I am even considering moving out of state away from my family just so I can keep the baby safe and away from him. I do not know what to do. He got 50% custody of his 2 kids from his marriage because she wasn't able to prove alcohol or drug abuse or physical abuse. But him and I are not married never lived together or anything I just want to know what to do. I thought a out restraining order but idk what that will really do I've had to call the police because he has showed up at my house very late yelling and threatening me. I don't even know what to do please help.

 

[Proserpina]

I broke up with an abusive ex in April. Found out I was pregnant a month after leaving him. I was so panicked I considered abortion but I realised that's not me that I was considering it out if fear for the baby's well being. He is very selfish and he has 2 kids from a previous marriage ages 3 and 6 and he would always talk badly about their mom and call her a whore and more to them and make them feel guilty for having a friendship with her boyfriend. We always argued about this he also would emotional mentally and verbally abuse me. He is not afraid to put his hands on me either. His oldest would come to me and say sorry his dad was so mean to me. That and more (lying, cheating, manipulating, cocaine and alcohol abuse that I didnt know about) are the reasons I left him. I love this baby I am carrying so much and I am terrified because he keeps threatening me that he is going to go for 50% custody and his family is very wealthy and his mom is just as horrible as he is. She sees nothing he does as incorrect. Now every day he sends me text messages I do not EVER reply. But he will love me and miss me one day and the next I'm a whore and a **** and he's taking this baby from me. I am terrified to the point that I am even considering moving out of state away from my family just so I can keep the baby safe and away from him. I do not know what to do. He got 50% custody of his 2 kids from his marriage because she wasn't able to prove alcohol or drug abuse or physical abuse. But him and I are not married never lived together or anything I just want to know what to do. I thought a out restraining order but idk what that will really do I've had to call the police because he has showed up at my house very late yelling and threatening me. I don't even know what to do please help.

Well ... what is it you want to do? If you want to relocate out of state, you need to do it before the baby is born if you don't want to be forced back to PA to fight a custody battle. That's the legal response.

Now for the other response. You're going to have to face the fact that if you do actually have this child, you're going to be coparenting with him (if that's what he wants) for a long, long time. This doesn't mean that he's going to get custody of the newborn, nor does it mean he'll get a literal 50/50 timeshare right off the bat (both are possibilities however - not likely, in my opinion, but there's always one judge in one courtroom somewhere). But he will have regular, unsupervised access to his child.

So the ball really is in your court at this point.

 

[Twinklex123]

Side note: I was really hoping we could co parent but after being in a relationship with him for 2 Yeas I saw he does nothing to take care of his children I have no idea how he got half custody his mom literally always has his kids the week he's supposed to have them he doesn't even have food at the house he's usually hungover and sleeping or on fb and ignoring his kids. I am sad that that is what I chose to have procreate with I feel bad for my baby. But my point is there is no being nice with him he just wants to have the upper hand in the situation. Also his mom told me she doesn't accept this baby as part of her family and for a while they were denying it even being his. Which I learned is just him as usual trying to hurt my self esteem and how people see me but idc because I know who I am and I WISH I could say it wasn't his.

 

[LdiJ]

Side note: I was really hoping we could co parent but after being in a relationship with him for 2 Yeas I saw he does nothing to take care of his children I have no idea how he got half custody his mom literally always has his kids the week he's supposed to have them he doesn't even have food at the house he's usually hungover and sleeping or on fb and ignoring his kids. I am sad that that is what I chose to have procreate with I feel bad for my baby. But my point is there is no being nice with him he just wants to have the upper hand in the situation. Also his mom told me she doesn't accept this baby as part of her family and for a while they were denying it even being his. Which I learned is just him as usual trying to hurt my self esteem and how people see me but idc because I know who I am and I WISH I could say it wasn't his.

Well again, if you do decide that relocating is your best bet then again, you need to do it long before the baby is born.