Aby advice needed - regarding visitation time!

[drowningincs]

What is the name of your state? Idaho


Hi folks,
My husband and I have been in an ongoing battle with his daughters mother ever since we got married, shes incredibly jealous, and vengeful.
This past weekend was my Dh's weekend to have his daughter, the hours rolled by with no phone call from BM and about 7 pm she finally called and said she was gone with DD and he could not have this weekend and was his fault due to not taking her on Friday (this was saturday). Now heres where it get complicated. DH has been taking DD on Saturdays instead of Fridays because he works Saturday and BM says DD cant be left with me, (ugh), so he has been taking DD on Saturday for the past two months and now BM says nope if you dont take her on Friday, you lose weekend, but this was HER rule as she says DD cant be left with me (its in papers, 3rd party rule) but when DH bring sthis up she says he chose his job over his daughter! Well something has to pay the child support and bills.. ugh its so frustrating, she is basically saying he'd have to quit his job to see his child, this isnt right.
My thought was his weekend runs from 6:00 FRIDAY to 6:00 SUNDAY during any period of time there.... and she is interfereing with his time.
So DH is going to file a paper with his custody papers stating that until further notice he will be taking DD on Saturday....
Im just at a loss on what to do here...I feel like BM is trying to screw him out of all of his weekends this way.. ANY ADVICE??What is the name of your state?

[BelizeBreeze]

Is there anything in the custody/visitation order which stipulates your husband must get his ex's approval (first right of refusal) before leaving the child with anyone? Or something about third-party pickup?

[drowningincs]

(first right of refusal) - this is what it is, has to have permission but we're hoping to have it changed so it excludes me as I have been her stepmom for going on 2 years now and dont believe there is any threat.

[stealth2]

It's not a question of your being a threat. It's one of whether it's better for the child to be with a parent rather than a legal stranger.

[drowningincs]

I understand that but its not in the best interest of the child because shes losing valuable time with her father, which is very important for little girls, she could see him all friday evening, and most of the day Saturday as he is gone to work at 4am and home by early afternoon.

[Ohiogal]

Then dad should pick up child for his Friday evening and offer mom the time he is at work -- by transporting child at 3 am or however early. Or mom can pick child up if she wants to evoke that in the morning. He has made a bad choice by not spending his friday evenings with the child.

Originally Posted by drowningincs

What is the name of your state? Idaho


Hi folks,
My husband and I have been in an ongoing battle with his daughters mother ever since we got married, shes incredibly jealous, and vengeful.

sorry to correct you, but this is your HUSBAND'S battle, not YOURS. let him work this out. your involvement will hurt your husband's case.

[drowningincs]

I do let him battle it, I dont get involved between any contact between them or any court dates, but I wont lie and say it doesnt effect me, my home or my life either.
I came looking for advice on the best way to handle the situation, not on how to be involved.