Access to child's school records by Non-Custodial parent

[CJane]

Because mom has always provided me with copies of school stuff (report cards, etc.), and has always kept me up to date on daughter's activities. Up until now, there was really no reason for me to request anything from them. I always assumed that I was listed as "dad" on her school forms because I had no reason to believe otherwise. Obviously, that was a mistake.

I think Stealth's question was more along the lines of wondering why you're a stranger to the school - why haven't you been a presence in the child's educational life? These are people that spend more time with your child than you or your ex do, and you're apparently a stranger to them.

Even when my ex was playing shenanigans with the kids' enrollment paperwork and medical stuff, it never had the effect desired by him because I was a near-daily presence at school, volunteered when I could, went to conferences, was involved in the community, etc. Every member of the faculty and staff (from superintendent to custodians) knew me on sight. There was nothing ex could do to "erase" me from their lives because I made myself an institution, and he ended up looking like a petulant child.

 

[stealth2]

Because mom has always provided me with copies of school stuff (report cards, etc.), and has always kept me up to date on daughter's activities. Up until now, there was really no reason for me to request anything from them. I always assumed that I was listed as "dad" on her school forms because I had no reason to believe otherwise. Obviously, that was a mistake.

That's not being involved in your child's education, in my book. Have you not gone to teacher conferences, BRANd, activities? How old is the child?

 

[LdiJ]

Because mom has always provided me with copies of school stuff (report cards, etc.), and has always kept me up to date on daughter's activities. Up until now, there was really no reason for me to request anything from them. I always assumed that I was listed as "dad" on her school forms because I had no reason to believe otherwise. Obviously, that was a mistake.

Unfortunately, I think perhaps that the attorney you spoke to might have lead you astray a bit as to the significance of mom (perhaps) listing her husband in the father spot on the enrollment form. However, since you are reluctant to go into detail, its hard to give you good advice. You might want to consider speaking to another attorney in your area to see if they have the same take on that that the first attorney had. You will be able to go into more detail with another attorney and therefore get better advice.

 

[CJane]

If your goal is only to ensure that the school has the correct information on file, send a letter to the school, indicating that you want to ensure they've updated their records with your contact information and then include your information in the letter. Ask them to provide you with a copy once they've done so.

Easy peasy.

If your goal is to gather evidence to use against Mom in an attempt at a custody change, I REALLY hope you have more than just a document that might exist. Really. Because upsetting status quo is a big deal, and this just isn't.

 

[ma7575]

Is your goal to get the information on your child's grades and activities, or is your goal to punish mom?

I've always gotten info on child's grades and activities from mom and daughter. She is 17. We have a very close relationship and she keeps me informed about all the things that are going on in her life including school, friends, boyfriends, college plans, etc. I am most definitely NOT an un-involved parent. I work 70 hours a week to make sure she's well provided for and always have, and just because I don't have an actual physical presence at the school, it doesn't mean that I don't care about her or her education. Over the years, I have let things slide that weren't that important in the grand scheme of things, but mom has now crossed the line and I feel I have to do something to rectify that. My goal is for her to finally be held accountable for her actions.

 

[CJane]

I've always gotten info on child's grades and activities from mom and daughter. She is 17. We have a very close relationship and she keeps me informed about all the things that are going on in her life including school, friends, boyfriends, college plans, etc. I am most definitely NOT an un-involved parent. I work 70 hours a week to make sure she's well provided for and always have, and just because I don't have an actual physical presence at the school, it doesn't mean that I don't care about her or her education. Over the years, I have let things slide that weren't that important in the grand scheme of things, but mom has now crossed the line and I feel I have to do something to rectify that. My goal is for her to finally be held accountable for her actions.

*sigh*

So, with a child who is 17, you're obviously (I hope) not seeking custody. Are you hoping for a finding of contempt? Is Mom ordered to put your name on school information?

 

[Zigner]

I've always gotten info on child's grades and activities from mom and daughter. She is 17. We have a very close relationship and she keeps me informed about all the things that are going on in her life including school, friends, boyfriends, college plans, etc. I am most definitely NOT an un-involved parent. I work 70 hours a week to make sure she's well provided for and always have, and just because I don't have an actual physical presence at the school, it doesn't mean that I don't care about her or her education. Over the years, I have let things slide that weren't that important in the grand scheme of things, but mom has now crossed the line and I feel I have to do something to rectify that. My goal is for her to finally be held accountable for her actions.

In other words, this is not about the child, it's about punishing mom.

 

[ma7575]

In other words, this is not about the child, it's about punishing mom.

Think what you want. And no, it's more serious than a contempt citation. Mom is the parent who is putting herself before our child. I find it disconcerting that some on this thread think that I shouldn't be concerned with that at all. Why should she NOT be held accountable for her actions if what she's doing is solely in HER best interests?